Amelia's smile became a smug 'I've snagged my man' grin.
Oh fantastic. Another one.
Tash ignored the savage twist in her gut and forced a smile to her lips. "That's great Amelia, congratulations."
Holly, Lucy and Rebecca dutifully exclaimed, squealed and crowded round to hug Amelia. Tash tried to get her emotions under control, focusing on a snagged nail on her little finger.
Everyone else is moving on…
"Well Matt was fantastic when mum was sick last year." Amelia smiled contentedly. "And he persuaded me I couldn't be a seasonnaire forever. I mean, it's been fun but it's time to grow up, you know?"
"Right," Rebecca said, nodding seriously, as though Amelia were dispensing pearls of wisdom instead of a baseless platitude.
Tash stared out through the plate glass window. The falling snow swirled, buffeted by strong gusts of wind. She couldn't shake a sense of unease so visceral it twisted again at her gut, sending anxiety coursing through her veins.
Why does everything have to change? Everything was fine as it was.
Holly disentangled herself from the others and made her way over to Tash. She sank down on the sofa next to her.
"Actually Tash, there's something else I needed to tell you." Holly laid a hand on Tash's arm, her diamond engagement ring and platinum wedding band prominent on her wedding finger. "I thought you and Rebecca could accompany the group on a couple of their experience days and generally show them around Verbier? You know, take them to places like the W. Make sure they have a really good time. Impress the pants off them."
Tash raised an eyebrow. Holly giggled and Tash couldn't help laughing too, even though she really didn't feel like it.
Holly's eyes lost their anxious expression, her face transformed by a relaxed smile. "Bad choice of words. I'd do it myself but I get so tired in the evenings at the moment and some days the so-called morning sickness lasts all day. I don't think throwing up on my shoes and then going to bed at nine o'clock would impress them much. You don't mind, do you?"
Tash hesitated. If only Holly had picked Amelia or Lucy instead of Rebecca to go along with her. But this was how Holly worked. Subtle, thoughtful and always working to keep the peace.
Holly's picked Rebecca because she hopes it will mean the two of us will finally start to get along.
She met Holly's eyes and was surprised to see a genuine concern for Tash’s approval.
Doesn't she know by now I'd do pretty much anything for her?
After all Tash could count on one hand the number of people she truly trusted, and have fingers left over.
Scary thought that the two people I care most about in the world are moving on without me.
"Of course I don't mind, it'll be fun." Tash smiled. "Stop worrying, it'll all work out fine and I'll help out any way I can."
It was time to step up.
It scared her, becoming needed, relied upon. Needing…It was bloody terrifying.
Maybe she should've moved on years ago, before she'd had time to grow close to anyone. After all she'd been at Chalet Repos longer than she'd stayed in any one place before. The longest settled spell in her entire life in fact.
Stop it Tash, no looking back remember? Thinking about anything too much is dangerous.
Holly disappeared down the corridor to the office, to the desk that stood back to back with Scott's. What must it be like to find someone you loved so much you could actually live and work with them and not want to kill them?
Anxiety made Tash jittery and she tugged again at her snagged nail, breaking it off far too low but not caring that it hurt. The blurring of the line between emotional and physical pain was dangerous. Not that this really counted but she could imagine what the official line would be. That it was the thin edge of a very dangerous wedge.
She was done with that, with the old Tash.
But boy was it tempting sometimes.
I need caffeine. Caffeine and some ibuprofen.
Maybe it wasn't a good idea when she was anxious but she needed…something and really, how harmful could one cup of coffee be?
"So girls, what do we think?" Lucy's bird like eyes gleamed. She'd tucked her feet beneath her on the armchair so she looked tinier than ever, dwarfed by an oversized rusty-red cable knit jumper pulled down to her knees over her leggings.
"What do we think about what?" Tash replied, resting her head back against the sofa and crossing her arms over her chest. "Are we talking about the engagement epidemic or the fresh new talent about to hit Chalet Repos? Sorry to disappoint you hun but a group of suits are not going to satisfy your heart's wicked desires."
"Who says they're wicked?" Lucy quipped. "Don't judge us all by your own standards. Some of us are actually looking for a meaningful relationship with a grown up."
Ouch.
Tash laughed to conceal the sting, fingers curling into her palms beneath her elbows, nails pressing hard against her skin. Lucy was only joking, but…
"I think it sounds really exciting. Do we know anything about them? Maybe it'll be someone famous if they're so important." Rebecca sighed, her pale blue eyes becoming dreamy. She crossed her legs demurely, back still ramrod straight like she'd been taught to sit like that at finishing school or Cheltenham Ladies College or whatever Sloanesville academy she'd sprung from.
Tash's jaw clenched instinctively, like it did pretty much every time Rebecca spoke.
God I miss Sophie.
"It won't be anyone famous." Tash rolled her eyes. "How many famous investors do you know? It'll be another group of poncy businessmen in fancy Saville Row suits and handmade shoes they can't get wet in the snow. They'll expect us to jump every time they click their fingers. If they can prise their fingers away from their BlackBerries that is."
"Now, that's where you're wrong," Amelia said, a slow smug smile creeping across her face. "The name the chalet is booked under is Nathaniel Campbell. I checked the bookings spreadsheet and then I googled him."
She paused, relishing the fact she'd got everyone's attention.
"Go on." Lucy nudged Amelia with her elbow. "Don't leave us hanging. You have been watching way too many elimination shows. It doesn't create tension, it's just annoying.”
"It turns out Nathaniel Campbell is on that programme In the Lion's Den. You know, the one where anyone under twenty-five with a business plan can go to beg for grants or internships. He's forty-eighth on the Sunday Times Rich List too; his specialty is buying companies with potential, turning them around, then selling them on again." Amelia grinned, eyes gleaming.
"You already have a fiancé, remember." Tash said quickly.
Sophie must've rubbed off on me. Who would've guessed I'd be the one taking the moral high ground?
But with Sophie gone someone had to do it. The gap Sophie had left when she moved in with Luc felt immense. And Rebecca certainly wasn't the girl to replace her. There was nothing immediately obvious to explain why, but it'd been apparent within days that Tash and Rebecca weren't going to be the best of friends. Well nothing obvious except for the huge gulf between their backgrounds. Tash had tried.
Sort of.
"I've seen The Lion's Den," Rebecca beamed like she'd just won the lottery. "I love that programme. Nathaniel Campbell is seriously hot. He's the sexiest Lion on the show."
"I haven't seen it. Have you Tash?" Lucy asked.
"No." Tash shrugged and got off the sofa.