Monty and Me: A heart-warmingly wagtastic novel!

He continued, ‘DI Morgan’s livid, and I don’t blame him. Five months of surveillance up in smoke!’

The flats of his fat-fingered hands slammed down on the desk, the piles of files quivering. Rose jumped, and knew that through the glass wall behind her, DI Pearl heard every word. Why was he still here? They’d been working non-stop on the Salt case all weekend. Everyone else had gone home to get some much needed rest.

‘Sir, I had no idea who he was. I’m not involved in Operation Nailgun.’

‘You walked straight past two undercover detectives in their car, and then Gary and Meg in the pub. They couldn’t believe it, and nor can I. What are you? Blind?’

‘Sir, I barely know Gary and Meg.’

The Drugs Squad was on level four, Major Crime on two.

Rose naturally spoke quietly, with a soft West Country accent, unwilling to engage in the loud banter and often coarse language of her fellow detectives. She knew Leach found her voice irritatingly mouse-like, so she raised it as best she could. But it sounded more like a croak.

‘I stopped at the pub to have a quick drink on my way home. To be honest, sir, I was a bit shaken up.’ She paused. Was she sounding weak?

Leach nodded. ‘Go on.’

‘Sir, he started chatting me up. I was flattered. He’s a good-looking bloke. Charming.’

‘Ray Summers? The charming bastard deals in Class A drugs. The real nasty stuff. He’s … no, he was our only lead in an international drugs trafficking ring. Summers was meeting the local gang leader tomorrow. One more day and we’d have had those scumbags behind bars. Do you see what you’ve done?’

‘I’m sorry, sir.’ Close to tears, she stared at the floor.

‘What the hell did you tell him?’

‘Nothing, sir. I didn’t even tell him I was a police officer.’

Revealing her job sent any potential boyfriend running for the hills. It was a more effective turn-off than body odour, flatulence or a history of chain-saw massacres.

‘Well, you blew their cover, didn’t you! They raid his warehouse a half hour later and find a big fat nothing. No drugs, no computers, no financials, and he’s disappeared.’

Rose swallowed hard. Her career was about to end before it had even begun, because of one stupid mistake. Why-oh-why hadn’t she just picked up Monty and taken a bottle of plonk home with her instead?

‘How did he know you were a detective?’

‘When I went to the loo, I left my handbag behind. He must’ve gone through it and found my warrant card.’

Leach raised surprisingly bushy eyebrows, given his scalp was so hairless. They reminded Rose of furry caterpillars on a white cabbage. ‘Never let your warrant card out of your sight, Sidebottom. This is your last chance.’

‘Sorry, sir, it won’t happen again.’

‘Did he at least say anything that could help us find him?’

‘He was on the phone when I got back from the loo. He ended the call when he saw me, but I heard him say something about a shipment. That it had to be stopped. Then he made his excuses and left in a hurry. I didn’t put two and two together until Meg came over and gave me an ear-bashing.’

Leach had his hands clasped together on the desk so tightly that his puffy knuckles turned purple.

‘So, the Super chews my ear off, Morgan wants you back on the beat, and God knows what your team will think of you. Great result!’ He threw his weight into the back of his chair. The bags under his eyes were darker and puffier than usual. She felt sorry for him. ‘If your colleagues don’t trust you, you’re no use to them or me. You need to fix this. Start by apologising to Morgan and don’t put a foot wrong on the Salt case, you hear?’

‘Yes, sir.’

Leach placed his hands behind his head and studied her flushed face.

‘Rose, are you sure you really want to do this job?’ His voice had softened. ‘We get to see people at their worst. Doing terrible things. Murder, torture, abuse. It’s long hours, the public and the media generally hate us, and it’s hard on relationships.’

Rose glanced at his ring finger where a wedding band had once been, leaving a permanent dent in his pudgy skin.

‘Yes, sir.’ She looked straight into his eyes. ‘I’ve always wanted to be a detective.’

Leach tilted his head to one side. ‘God, you remind me of Kay when she was your age. Stubborn and naïve.’ He smiled, which was rare and therefore unnerving. His teeth were surprisingly small for such a large head. Like baby teeth. ‘She found it tough going at first, you know. She was sensitive, found the blood and guts hard to deal with. But she was dogged. Wouldn’t give up. Became the best DI I’ve ever known.’

‘I want to be like Kay, sir. I know I can do it.’

Leach nodded as he stood. ‘Maybe. But this is a big cock-up, Rose. I’m increasing your supervision and assigning you to an experienced DI …’

Opening his office door, Leach beckoned Dave Pearl inside.

A slick dresser, fancied by most of the female officers and popular with the lads, he sauntered into the office as if it were his own.

‘Dave is your new mentor.’

Just when Rose thought it couldn’t get any worse, it just did. Dave’s tanned forehead creased into a frown as his eyes, the colour of tarnished silver, looked down at her with contempt.

‘All right with you, Dave?’ asked Leach.

When Pearl realised he was being watched, he produced an affable smile. ‘Of course, boss.’

‘You do what Dave asks and nothing more, you got that?’ said Leach, picking up his coat. ‘Right, I’m off.’

He strode out, leaving Rose alone with Pearl. Pearl’s smile vanished.

‘Well, well, so the chosen one’s fallen from grace,’ he mocked.

Despite being almost a foot shorter, she squared up to him. ‘Guv, I’m very sorry about what’s happened and I’m going to work extra hard on the Salt case. I know I’ve got a lot to do to win back people’s respect.’

He shook his head. ‘You know, I just don’t think it’s going to be that easy. I mean, who’s going to want to work with you after this?’

‘If you give me a chance, the others will follow, sir.’

Pearl leaned closer. ‘You’re not up to the job. Never were.’

‘I know what this is really about. Just because I didn’t want to go for a drink with you …’

‘You’ve got it all wrong, lady. Why would I want to go out with someone who drops her knickers for a drugs trafficker?’

She balled her hand into a fist but punching him would instantly end her career.

‘How dare you!’