Feeling light-headed with relief he’d accepted the first and she would have thought the hardest hurdle to overcome, she said, “I am glad you are not offended.”
“I would be, if I believed your request was based on a lack of trust in me personally.”
“You don’t?”
“It’s obvious that your past has a great deal of bearing on this, as I have said.”
“And you do not think your ongoing relationship with Elsa figures into it all?”
“That was before we were formally engaged.”
“You said you considered us as good as.”
“In one respect that is true, just as in the same respect, a part of me already considers the throne of Zohra mine. However, it will not in actuality be until my father abdicates in my favor or sees his final days on earth.”
“So, you did make a distinction.” She was more thankful to hear that than she would ever admit to him.
“Do you not know me even that well?” he asked, sounding like he was finally feeling the offense she’d expected him to take earlier.
“I thought I did and then I got those pictures.”
He winced. “Point taken.”
“I realize now, I was hopelessly naive in my expectations, but those photos devastated me,” she admitted.
She had no trouble reading his expression for once, it was pure dismay. “You believed I would be celibate once the contract was signed?”
“Yes.” She felt foolish for that belief now. It had been a teen girl’s fantasy she’d never reconsidered in the light of adulthood. At least, not until she’d been forced to. “You see, I was.”
“When I signed that contract, I was a twenty-four-year-old man. You were a thirteen-year-old girl.”
“Are you saying it would not bother you if I had taken a lover since becoming an adult?”
He opened his mouth and then shut it again, no words emerging.
“Smart choice.”
He frowned. “My initial response does not paint me in a favorable light.”
“No doubt.”
“Your other conditions,” he prompted, clearly not wishing to dwell on his unpalatable double standard. “There are only two more.” “They are?”
“Your heir is allowed to have a childhood.”
“I had a childhood.”
“Until you were seven, yes I got that.”
“I was not an unhappy child.”
She was convinced that a man of Zahir’s strength would have bloomed under any conditions, but she refused to allow her own children to face the same exact sort of childhood he’d been raised with. “This is not a negotiable point.”
“You do realize that saying something like that to me is like waving the red flag to the bull?”
“I didn’t—now I do.”
“You wish to rephrase it?”
“No.”
His brow rose in clear surprise.
“I am willing to marry you despite major personal misgivings for the sake of our unborn child. There is no point in doing so if being raised amidst the royal family of Zohra will be a source of unacceptable sacrifice and potential unhappiness for him.”
“I told you, I was not unhappy.”
“And I’m telling you, that heir to the throne, or a youngest daughter, it doesn’t matter to me. My children will have the chance at a true childhood.”
“As defined by you?”
“Ultimately, yes, but I am open to discussion on issues of importance to you.” “I will enjoy the challenge.” “Of course you will.” “Your final condition?”
This should be an easy one for him to accept, considering his own circumstances. “None of our children will have their marriages arranged for them.”
“I acknowledge you are not as pleased with our arrangement as you were in the past, but that is no reason to dismiss centuries of tradition.” A full measure of offense laced his voice and drew his spine ramrod straight.
“It’s a tradition that should have disappeared with the Dark Ages.”
“I disagree.” If anything, his tone became more clipped. “The practice of arranging marriages is still common in the Middle East, parts of Asia and Eastern Europe. Just because you were raised in a different culture does not mean one is superior to the other.”
“Your brothers are both happier because their marriages came about because of love rather than a contract.”
“And my parents fell deeply in love after marrying because their parents arranged it.”
“The risk of it not working out is too big.”
“Love is no guarantee of happiness.” He sighed. “Surely your parents’ own marriage is enough to prove that to you, but if not—merely consider the divorce rate of your adopted country.”
“I’m really surprised this is such a sticking point for you.” This was the one condition she had believed he would accept without argument. “I would have thought that your own present circumstance enough to convince you.”
“You were wrong.” He said nothing more, simply staring at her with a bone-deep determination that she had no doubt carried sway at any table of negotiation.
But she couldn’t back down about this. Zahir would never have been forced into marriage with her if not for that stupid contract. He would never have shown any interest in her and she would never have demanded that night in his bed.
The guilt she felt for doing so now was a big enough burden to carry. She couldn’t bear to think of her own children having to submit to those kinds of circumstances.
She took a fortifying sip of tea, but he spoke before she got a chance to further her case. “I will offer this compromise.”