Her Healing Ways

As Hobson turned to leave, he lit a tall candle on the stove. “Good night, ladies.” He handed Mercy the key. “Lock up behind me. Two women alone can’t be too careful.”

When Mercy did not move, Indigo took the key and followed him back through the office. Mercy waited, frozen in place, watching the flickering, mesmerizing candle flame. She had heard of people falling asleep standing up. Was that happening to her?

Indigo entered, helped Mercy off with her blanket and steered her into a wooden chair beside the stove. “You sit here, Aunt Mercy. You look really tired.”

Mercy sat, the numbness still clutching her. This was more than the usual fatigue, Mercy sensed. Indigo began humming “Be Thou My Vision” as she opened the trunk, got out their wrinkled sheets and pillows, and made up the two cots. “God has provided for us again.”

Mercy wanted to agree. But her tongue lay at the bottom of her mouth, limp and wayward. Then Indigo was there in front of her, kneeling to unbutton her shoes. “You’re just very tired, that’s all. I think you need a few days of rest and good food. And you’ll be right as a good spring rain.”

Indigo led Mercy over to the cot nearest the stove. “I think I’ll make up a small fire and brew a cup of tea for both of us. Then we’ll go to bed and let the fire die down on its own. It’s not that cold, not as cold as it can be in Pennsylvania in late September.”

Indigo kept up small talk as she cared for them both. Mercy let herself sit and listen. She could do nothing more. She was tired, not just from the cholera epidemic or walking behind the wagons to get here. She was tired to the marrow of her bones from the unkind way people treated each other.

The mayor’s insults the other day, diminishing her role in stopping the epidemic which could have killed him. The unfriendly and judgmental way people had looked at them today as they walked down Main Street. And Lon Mackey, who she’d begun to consider an ally, disappearing from her life when she most needed help. These had leeched the life from her.

In this whole town, they had encountered one kind man out of how many? The others, when they had ample room to take them in, would have let her and Indigo sleep outside. Well, she shouldn’t be surprised. There had been no room at the inn for Mary and Joseph. And baby Jesus had been born among the cattle. Lon Mackey’s face came to mind clearly. She had been hoping he would come to their aid, clearly. Foolish beyond measure. She sighed and closed her eyes. Whatever connection she had felt with him had been an illusion. Something inside her flickered and then went out, extinguished.

Despite his best efforts, Lon woke while it was still morning. Dr. Gabriel’s face flashed before his eyes. He rolled over. Around four o’clock in the morning, when the saloon had finally shut its doors, he’d been unable to keep himself from going out with a lantern and checking to see if the two women were still sitting under the tree. This concern for their welfare could only spring from the life-threatening circumstances under which they’d met and nothing else, he insisted silently.

When he’d found, in the early morning light, that they were no longer under the tree, he’d been able to go to his bed and sleep. He would let the God they believed in take care of them from now on.

Though it was much earlier than he ever cared to be awake, he found he could not go back to sleep. He sat up, disgusted with himself. After shaving and donning his last fresh collar, he strode out into the thin sunshine to find breakfast. The town was bustling. He stood looking up and down the street. Then drawn by the mingled fragrances of coffee, bacon and biscuits, he headed for breakfast at a café on the nearest corner.

On the way, he saw Dr. Gabriel step outside a mining office and begin sweeping the wooden platform in front of the place. Something deep inside nudged him to avoid her, but he couldn’t be that rude. Tipping his hat, he said, “Good morning, Dr. Gabriel.”

“Lon Mackey, good morning.”

“Is this where you stayed last night?” he asked.

“Yes,” she replied. “A man, Digger Hobson, let us stay. I’m just tidying up a bit to thank him for his kindness.”

“I’m glad to hear you found a place. Yesterday, I saw you going door to door…” He caught himself before he said more.

“It is always difficult for Indigo and me in a new place.” She also paused and gazed into his eyes.

He glanced away. “You still think you can establish yourself here?”

“I do. I hope…” Her voice faded.

He denied the urge to try to talk sense into her. Still, he lingered. This woman had earned his regard. And the feeling of working together to fight the cholera had taken him back to his previous life when he’d had a future. He broke away from her effect on him. “I’ll bid you good day then.”

Mercy wanted to stop him, speak to him longer. But even as she opened her mouth, she knew she must not. Their paths should not cross again except in this casual way. Why did that trouble her? Just because she had found him so easy to work with meant nothing to her day-to-day life. She went on sweeping, quelling the sudden, surprising urge to cry. Lon had believed in her abilities and trusted her in a way that few other men ever had, and it was hard to simply let that go.

At the sound of footsteps on the office’s wooden floor, she turned to greet Indigo. “Thee slept well?”

“Yes. I feel guilty for lying in so long. You know I never sleep late.”

“I think thee needed the extra rest.” She watched as Lon Mackey walked into the café on the corner. She had no appetite, which was unusual, but the two of them must eat to keep up their strength. “Indigo, would thee go down to the café, buy us breakfast and bring it back here?”

Indigo’s stomach growled audibly in response. The girl grinned. “Why don’t we just go there and eat?”

Because he’s there. “I’m not in the mood for company this morning.” That wasn’t a lie, unfortunately. Mercy pulled her purse out of her pocket and gave it to Indigo. She gave Mercy a penetrating look, then left, singing quietly to herself.

Mercy walked inside the office and looked out the smudged front window. She thought of going around town again this afternoon, trying to get to know all the residents, trying to begin to soften their resistance, to change their minds about a woman doctor. But the thought of stepping outside again brought her near to tears.

For the first time she could recall, she had no desire to go out into the sunshine. No desire to go on doing what she must in order to change opinions about her. To carry out her mission. This sudden absence of purpose was alien to her.

The fact was she didn’t want to talk to or see anyone save Indigo. Or, truth be told, Lon Mackey. Though she’d been hurt that he hadn’t come to her aid, the fact that he’d gone looking for her in the early morning had lifted her heart some. She wrapped her arms around herself and shivered in spite of the lingering warmth from the potbellied stove.

She went over in her mind the brief conversation with Lon about his concern and about his opposition to her way of life. What they had said to each other wasn’t as telling as what they hadn’t said. She couldn’t have imagined the strong connection they’d forged, and she couldn’t believe it had ended when the cholera had.

Something was shifting inside her. And she was afraid to venture toward its cause.

A week had passed. Friday was payday and the saloon was standing room only. The poker table was ringed with a few farmers, but mostly miners and lumberjacks watched the game in progress. In the back of Lon’s mind, the fact that he hadn’t seen Dr. Gabriel on the street since she’d moved into the mining office niggled at him. Had she fallen sick? Should he go check on her?

He brushed the thought away like an aggravating fly. He’d done much this week to rebuild his reserves. And tonight’s game was not for chicken stakes. Nearly a hundred dollars in gold, silver and bills had been tossed into the ante. If Lon lost this game, he’d be broke again.

His three competitors included the same small, mustached man whom Lon had gambled with every night the past week. The other two were a tall, slender young man and a dark-haired miner. The young half breed spoke with a French accent. Perhaps he was a mix of Métis, Indian and French. Either way, Lon pegged him as a young buck out to have all the fun he could, no doubt with the first good money he’d ever earned. The miner looked ill-tempered, old enough to know better than to cause trouble. But wise enough? Time would tell.

Lon stared at his cards—just a pair of red queens. That scoring combination was all he had worth anything among the five cards dealt him. He hissed inwardly in disgust. A pair was just above a random hand with nothing of scoring strength.

He gazed around at the other players, trying to gauge by their expressions and posture how good their hands were. Could they have gotten even worse hands? Was that possible?

The small man was tapping the table with his left hand and looking at Lon in an odd way. Lon decided he would lay two cards facedown and deal himself another two. He hoped they’d be better than the pitiful ones he’d dealt himself first.

The miner hit the other man’s hand, which was tapping beside him. “Stop that. You tryin’ to fiddle with my concentration?”

Lon held his breath. He’d seen fights start with less provocation than this.

The small man hit back the offending hand. “If you been drinking too much, don’t take it out on me.”

The miner lurched forward.

Fortunately, the onlookers voiced loud disapproval of the fight—it would spoil their fun. The miner scowled but sat back in his chair.

Reminding himself of the pistol in his vest pocket, Lon put two cards facedown and drew two more cards. His pair of queens became a triple, two red and one black. Better. But not much.

Then, as the dealer, he went from player to player asking if they wanted to draw again. There was another round of calling and betting. The small man was still watching Lon with an intense gaze. Was there going to be trouble?

The man asked, “You fight in the war?”

Lon shrugged. “Most of us did, didn’t we?”

This appeared to aggravate the small man even more. He looked at Lon with narrowed eyes. Lon tried to ignore him. Winning the game was what mattered. Nothing was going to distract him from that.

The final round ended and each player laid down his cards. Lon wished he could have had another chance to make his hand better, but he laid down his three queens. And nearly broke his poker face when he saw that he had won. Victory and relief flowed through him.

The sullen miner’s face twisted in anger. “You sure you’re not dealing from the bottom of the deck?”