Christmas at Thornton Hall

“Rose has got a point,” Edward said. He was very still. “You look beautiful.”

“Well, then thank you, Edward,” I said, turning my full body toward Rose and away from him. I couldn’t even look at him. “That’s very nice of you,” I said, twisting awkwardly to block out the whole view of my attractive colleague.

“I guess they say there are different levels of attractiveness,” my mouth continued, against my brain’s will. My voice sounded like a recording. Why won’t you stop talking? I screamed to myself. “There are visually attractive people and then interesting people,” I said. I couldn’t lift my fists off the table. Edward was listening to me with a small smile on his face, eyebrows raised. “People are striking internal responses,” I babbled, not entirely following what I was saying myself. Shut up, shut up! I told myself. You are losing control of your syntax.

“With status, like Mr. Roth, maybe in the scheme of things,” I barreled forward. My mouth kept forming words, and my brain seemed to be kicking back in a lounge chair, spectating. What was I trying to say? They all waited patiently for me to stop talking or to make some sense. Eventually, Terrence started making a “get on with it” rolling gesture with his hand, wineglass clutched death grip- style in the other.

“Mr. Roth is so…” Daphne finally piped in. She shook her head back and forth slowly, mouth hanging open. “Well, I mean he’s you know, sexier than like, the Earl’s mate from up the road. You know the one. That old bloke he hunts with, Lord Ambridge. Whatever. Know what I mean?”

After a pause, Terrence spoke up. “If you mean that even a burlap sack of oats is sexier than Lord Ambridge, then yes, I do know what you mean.”

Edward laughed a big, open laugh, eyes shining. Did he have to sit all splayed out, with his legs apart, looking so relaxed? I thought irritably.

“The Ambridges are coming to stay, you know,” Terrence said. “They’re on the list.”

“They are?” Daphne asked. “But they live a stone’s throw away.”

“Ah, the rich are different from you and me,” he replied. “Who can explain anything they do? Especially out back, behind the riding stables, if you follow me.”

“Right,” Daphne said, eyes darting. “I’d better get to bed. I have to stoke the fires first thing.” With that, she slipped from the table and disappeared up the stairs.

“Daffy indeed! Rose?” I asked.

“Well, she’s a maid brought in by Mr. Roth to ‘assist’ me this holiday,” she said haughtily. She bustled about the kitchen wiping and cleaning. “Seems he thinks this party is more than I can handle. She’s in the small room in the attic. We tried to put her in Deer Cottage, but after one night she claimed she thought it was haunted. That certainly tried everyone’s patience. She’s a dim little thing who’s hardly said two sensible words since she’s arrived. I hardly know what to do with her, so I mostly have her tending the fires.”

“That’s good!” I said heartily, trying to keep the conversation rolling. “I’ve always wished it were hotter around here.” The corner of Edward’s mouth turned up. I shot him a stern look and he held up his hands in surrender.

Mr. Roth was obsessed with having a roaring fire in every fireplace at all times, whether the room was occupied or not. Being American, he liked to keep every room in the stone house hovering at about 80°C, baffling the staff and suiting me fine. In that respect, he and I were two peas in a pod, hence my predilection for flannel pjs.

“So did you know the Ambridges were here?” asked Terrence.

“No,” I said loudly, relieved that the conversation had shifted focus. Suddenly I could move my legs. It was just in time, since my locked knees were cutting off blood to my brain and I felt like I might pass out. “Are they?

“They’re above,” Terrence said. “Lady Ambridge just got back from touring organic farms in The States. You know that one – she’s not happy unless she’s prowling fields, wellies covered in cowpat.”

“She’s a regular farmer, Lady Ambridge,” Rose said. “It’s a breath of fresh air that she works for a living, given her background.”

“She’ll get no complaints from me,” Edward said. “She always brings truckloads of fresh fruits and veg. Between what she brought and what MacGregor might leave us, we’ll eat well.”

“Why isn’t MacGregor at my welcome party?” I asked, finally relaxing a bit after a glass of sherry. I sneaked a look in Edward’s direction. He looked good. Really good. He was wearing dark-wash jeans, and a white waffle-weave thermal shirt under his open chef’s coat. I couldn’t help noticing how it pulled nicely across his broad chest.

“He told me to give you a kiss for him,” Edward teased, twinkling. “Shall I?”

My face went hot.

McGregor, the gamekeeper, was notoriously solitary, and mostly kept to the grounds or to The Pond Cottage. He was quiet and straightforward in the way a man who could live off the land often is. On occasion, he ate staff meals with us, but he preferred to eat in his cottage.

Rose said, “Be kind. I’ve known MacGregor for over 10 years. Sure he’s a private soul, but he never gives anyone a moment’s trouble. He comes out for Mass. I see him of a Sunday morning, and don’t repeat this, but he almost always has a dozen eggs and a bird for Father Francis.”

“He’s a good bloke,” Edward agreed. He took a bite of a buttered brown roll from a saucer near him. I locked eyes with him for a moment and thought, I don’t owe Ben a thing anymore. I could have Edward. My arm involuntarily twitched and knocked over my glass.

“Oh, whoops, sorry…” I stammered, jumping up to get a kitchen towel from the hook. I brushed past Edward, and wound up knocking my hip into his shoulder. He reached around with his other hand to right me, and wound up pressing his muscular arm against my pelvis. “Oh!” I squeaked, jumping away like I’d been burned.

“Uh, is it a full house?” I asked Rose, wiping up the spill with a bar towel.

“It is, as a matter of fact,” Jasper Roth said, pushing through the swinging door from the hall, “it is.”

In a split second, Rose was on her feet, with Terrence right behind her. “Is there something you need, Mr. Roth? A cup of coffee? Some warm milk?”

Edward remained seated.

At the sight of him, I’d crossed the kitchen, without thinking, putting myself on the other side of the table from Edward’s chair. Roth ignored Rose and her questions.

“Hello, Juliet.”

“Hello, Mr. Roth.” The corner of his mouth turned up, and he raised an eyebrow. Well, what did he expect me to call him? Jasper? In his robe, pajama bottoms, and slippers, he looked cozy and far more casual than usual. His hair was rumpled. Had he gotten out of bed when he heard me drive up? I looked at the floor. Even without seeing him, I knew he was looking at me. He stood in silence.

Uncomfortable as it was, we had to bear it. The ball was in his court. Everyone waited for him to make a move, to explain why he’d crossed the invisible line between the house and the servants’ domain.

Edward stood up slowly, and spoke. “Mr. Roth, how can we help?” His tone was that of the perfect soldier. Undeniably respectful to his superior, but rich with the confidence and strength of someone who could kill and defend. He was stretched tall, to his full height, and his jaw was tilted slightly upward. This was clearly muscle memory from his days in the military. I was embarrassed that I found it so sexy. His eyes were trained on Roth. I wondered if Edward realized that even at proper attention, those eyes told a secret. Was he challenging Roth? Scorning him? Was I the only one who saw it?

“I’m making sure everyone knows what’s expected,” he replied, meeting Edward’s eyes. “To meet the guests’ needs, of course,” he added, flicking his eyes over me, and smiling at Rose.

“Everything is in order, Mr. Roth,” Rose answered, smiling back. “Your guests won’t want for a thing, isn’t that right everyone?”

“Of course. We intend to satisfy desires before people know they have them,” Terrence said. “Isn’t that right, Juliet?”

I was furious at Terrence for putting me on the spot with his obvious little joke, but I could hardly react with a room full of people staring at me.

“Of course, sir.”

“That’s what I like to hear,” Roth said, looking at me. “Do you have everything to make that happen?”

“I’ve done all the ordering for the menus you’ve requested,” Edward cut in, “and for the general running of the house. If you have any questions, I’ll be happy to go over the plans with you.” He looked Roth in the eye. “Sir.”

Roth met his look, and smiled an easy smile. “I’ll let you know if I think of anything I require. Goodnight all,” he said, turning and pushing through the door.

We all waited a beat to make sure he was truly gone, as staff always do, then we relaxed, taking our chairs and going back to our drinks.

“Right then. As we were saying, Juliet, we’ve already got guests…Dr. Dearden is in the Oak Room. The whole Dearden clan used to come every year for Christmas, before Mrs. Dearden passed. With the children living abroad now, the good doctor comes alone. Hard to believe I’ve known him since his hair was dark and she was slim as a rail. I’m surprised he didn’t come down for his midnight roast beef sandwiches. His missus used to get after him for eating red meat.”

“Never punish a man for eating meat, I always say,” purred Terrence.

“Lovely couple,” Edward said. “There’s a lot to be said for a long and happy marriage.” He leveled his gaze at me. “Did you get engaged yet, Juliet?”

“I’m, well, expecting it on New Year’s Eve,” I lied. What are you up to, Juliet? I thought frantically to myself. I couldn’t bear for Edward to think I’d been rejected by Ben. I felt like I was wearing a t-shirt that said, “Unwanted.”

“Good on him, then,” Edward said, face placid. “I’m sure you’ll be very happy together.”