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He didn’t look fine. There were deep lines around his eyes and his skin looked slightly grey. He looked like a man who was dealing with something physically painful.

‘Great speech,’ Rafael said. ‘Well done.’

Ethan gave a noncommittal grunt. ‘I didn’t say much.’

‘Sometimes it doesn’t need much,’ Abbie said. ‘It just needs the right words.’

That brought the ghost of a smile to Ethan’s face. ‘What are you two doing out here, anyway?’ he asked. ‘You should be in there, having a good time.’ His smile twisted a little. ‘Or at least finding the right words.’ He pushed himself off the wall and headed back towards the ballroom. ‘I’m going to find another Scotch.’

Abbie and Rafael looked at each other.

‘Shall we go back?’ Rafael asked. ‘Would you like to dance?’

Abbie shook her head. ‘I think I might have had enough of so many glamorous people. And I’ve certainly had enough champagne.’

Rafael’s face emptied of expression. Was he waiting for her to say that she needed to get back to the hospital? To Ella?

‘You know what I’d really like to do right now?’

‘No. What?’

Abbie reached out and took his hand. Her heart skipped a beat. This was how she could show Rafael how much she wanted to try and fix things.

‘I’d like to go home,’ she whispered. ‘With you.’

CHAPTER EIGHT (#ua36f27db-9446-5b77-a1c2-01538fd92dea)

STEPPING THROUGH THE door of the apartment in Gloucester Avenue was a bit like sitting with Rafael and waiting for Leo and Lizzie’s wedding to begin.

Stepping back in time.

They’d been so excited when they’d found this place. It was perfect. A period conversion that had retained all the character of its origins but had been modernised enough to make it a joy to live in. Tall windows let in lots of light and the polished floorboards made it feel warm and homely. The kitchen and bathrooms had everything they could have wished for. There was central heating and the private garden was walled in and safe for young children. The location was ideal, pretty much halfway between the two places they both worked in—the Hunter Clinic and the Lighthouse Children’s Hospital. Best of all, they had Regent’s Park and all it had to offer within a few minutes’ walk.

It was no surprise that their offer on the apartment was accepted because it was meant to be. So much in love, life just couldn’t get any better. The stars were aligned and their perfect future together was just getting started.

So very, very different to the way things were now.

The furniture was all the same, right down to that controversial couch with its big blue throw, but the atmosphere was weird. Empty feeling. There was no excitement about the future lurking in any corners. This felt...awkward.

‘There’s wine in the fridge.’ Rafael was turning on the gas fire to add to the background warmth of the central heating. Did he, too, feel the odd chill of the joy that had gone from these rooms? ‘Can I get you a drink?’

‘No.’ Abbie took off her coat and draped it over one arm of the couch, dropping her handbag beside it. ‘I had more than enough champagne at the reception. But you get something if you want to.’

‘Maybe later.’ Rafael stood with his back to the fire. The intensity of his gaze was unsettling.

It had been Abbie’s suggestion to come home with him but now that they were here together for the first time in so many months she wasn’t sure that it had been the best idea. What was she going to do now? Throw herself into his arms?

No. That would feel as unnatural as standing here feeling like a stranger in her own home.

Rafael was still staring at her. ‘Would you rather go back to the hospital? Are you worried about Ella?’

‘No.’ Abbie shook her head quickly. ‘I know she’ll be fine. She won’t even wake up until morning. And they’d ring me, anyway, if there was a problem. Oh...’ She reached for the handbag she’d discarded. ‘I forgot that I’d turned my phone off for the wedding ceremony. I’d better switch it back on.’

‘I haven’t had a call,’ Rafael said. ‘I had my phone on silent. I never switch it off completely, just in case there’s an emergency with a patient. If they hadn’t been able to reach you, I’m sure they would have contacted me.’

‘Of course.’ But Abbie turned her phone on anyway and watched the spinning circle on the screen as it booted up. She put it down as she realised that her diverted attention was only making it feel more awkward for Rafael but almost as soon as the device was out of her hands it sounded a message alert.

Her gaze snagged on Rafael’s and held there for a heartbeat. And then he turned away with a flash of something like defeat washing over his face.

She had given him hope, hadn’t she, saying that she wanted to go home with him? Now it seemed like Ella was about to come between them again.

‘It’s probably just Melanie telling me that everything’s fine.’

But she had to look.

And it wasn’t about Ella at all.

Another heartbeat and all Abbie could do was close her eyes tightly as she clutched the phone against her chest with both hands.

* * *

Dio...

What the hell had been in that message?

Something devastating, by the look of her. Rafael was in front of Abbie in only a couple of steps. He gripped her arms.

‘Che cosa? What has happened?’

Abbie struggled to take an inward breath. ‘It’s not about Ella,’ she whispered.

‘Then what? What has made you look like this? Tell me...’

‘It’s...it’s...Toby.’

Rafael felt his heart stop for a split second and then thump painfully back into action. Who the hell was Toby? Had Abbie met someone else?’

‘Toby?’ His voice felt raw. ‘He’s someone in New York?’

Abbie nodded mutely. Her eyes were still tightly shut and she was clearly on the verge of tears.

Maybe it didn’t matter who this Toby was. What mattered was that he could feel Abbie shaking under his hands. She needed support. Comfort.

Love...

He pulled Abbie right into the circle of his arms and held her against his heart. He didn’t say anything because he had no idea what he could say. And he didn’t need to say anything anyway because moments later words began to spill out of Abbie between wrenching sobs.

‘He was only five...and he was such a brave little boy... He was getting the same treatment as Ella and his mum and I became good friends. Shelley was crying when we left...she said she’d miss us both so much but...but knowing that Ella had made it through was giving her strength...the suffering that poor little Toby was going through would all be worth it in the end because...because one day soon she’d be able to take him home to his daddy...the way...the way I was taking Ella home...to you...’