The Two Sides of the Shield

‘After that recommendation of yours?’

‘I didn’t propose a second-rate boarding-school, ma’am. There’s a High School starting after the holidays at Rockstone. Let me have her, and send her there.’

‘Ada would not like it.’

‘Never mind Ada, I’ll settle her. I would keep Dolly well up to her lessons, and prevent these friendships.’

‘I suppose you would manage her better than I have been able to do,’ said Lady Merrifield, reluctantly. ‘Yet I should like to try again; I don’t want to let her go. Is it the old story of duty and love, Jane? Have I failed again through negligence and ignorance, and deceived myself by calling weakness and blindness love?’

‘You don’t fail with your own, Lily. Rotherwood runs about admiring them, and saying he never saw a better union of freedom and obedience. It was really a treat to see Gillian’s ways tonight; she had so much consideration, and managed her sisters so well.’

‘Ah, but there’s their father! I do so dread spoiling them for him before he comes home; but then he is a present influence with us all the time.’

‘They would all clap their hands if I carried Dolly off.’

‘Yes, and that is one reason I don’t want to give her up; it seems so sad to send Maurice’s child away leaving such an impression. One thing I am thankful for, that it will be all over before grandmamma and Bessie Merrifield come.’

At that moment there was a knock at the door, and a small figure appeared in a scarlet robe, bare feet, and dishevelled hair.

‘Mysie, dear child! What’s the matter? who is ill?’

‘Oh, please come, mamma, Dolly is choking and crying in such a dreadful way, and I can’t stop her.’

‘I give up, Lily. This is mother-work,’ said Miss Mohun.

Hurrying upstairs, Lady Merrifield found very distressing sounds issuing from Dolores’s room; sobs, not loud, but almost strangled into a perfect agony of choking down by the resolute instinct, for it was scarcely will.

‘My dear, my dear, don’t stop it!’ she exclaimed, lifting up the girl in her arms. ‘Let it out; cry freely; never mind. She will be better soon, Mysie dear. Only get me a glass of water, and find a fresh handkerchief. There, there, that’s right!’ as Dolores let herself lean on the kind breast, and conscious that the utmost effects of the disturbance had come, allowed her long-drawn sobs to come freely, and moaned as they shook her whole frame, though without screaming. Her aunt propped her up on her own bosom, parted back her hair, kissed her, and saying she was getting better, sent Mysie back to her bed. The first words that were gasped out between the rending sobs were, ‘Oh! is my—he—to be tried?’

‘Most likely not, my dear. He has had full time to get away, and I hope it is so.’

‘But wasn’t he there? Haven’t they got him? Weren’t they asking me about him, and saying I must be tried for stealing father’s cheque?’

‘You were dreaming, my poor child. They have not taken him, and I am quite sure you will not be tried anyway.’

‘They said—Aunt Jane and Uncle Reginald and all, and ‘that dreadful man that came—’

‘Perhaps they said you might have to be examined, but only if he is apprehended, and I fully expect that he is out of reach, so that you need not frighten yourself about that, my dear.’

‘Oh, don’t go!’ cried Dolores, as her aunt stirred.

‘No, I’m not going. I was only reaching some water for you. Let me sponge your face.’

To this Dolores submitted gratefully, and then sighed, as if under heavy oppression, ‘And did he really do it?’

‘I am afraid he must have done so.’

‘I never thought it. Mother always helped him.’

‘Yes, my dear, that made it very hard for you to know what was right to do, and this is a most terrible shock for you,’ said her aunt, feeling unable to utter another reproach just then to one who had been so loaded with blame, and she was touched the more when Dolores moaned, ‘Mother would have cared so much.’

She answered with a kiss, was glad to find her hand still held, and forgot that it was past eleven o’clock.

‘Please, will it quite ruin father?’ asked Dolores, who had not outgrown childish confusion about large sums of money.

‘Not exactly, my dear. It was more than he had in the bank, and Uncle Regie thinks the bankers will undertake part of the loss if he will let them. It is more inconvenient than ruinous.’

‘Ah!’ There was a faintness and oppression in the sound which made Lady Merrifield think the girl ought not to be left, and before long, sickness came on. Nurse Halfpenny had to be called up, and it was one o’clock before there was a quiet, comfortable sleep, which satisfied the aunt and nurse that it was safe to repair to their own beds again.

The dreary, undefined self-reproach and vague alarms, intensified by the sullen, reserved temper, and culminating in such a shock, alienating the only persons she cared for, and filling her with terror for the future, could not but have a physical effect, and Dolores was found on the morrow with a bad head-ache, and altogether in a state to be kept in bed, with a fire in her room.

Gillian and Mysie were much impressed by the intelligence of their cousin’s illness when they came to their mother’s room on the way to breakfast, and Mysie turned to her sister, saying, ‘There Gill, you see she did care, though she didn’t cry like us. Being ill is more than crying.’

‘Well,’ said Gillian, ‘it is a good deal more than such things as you and Val cry for, Mysie.’

‘It was a trial such as you don’t understand, my dears,’ said Lady Merrifield. ‘I don’t, of course, excuse much that she did, but she had been used to see her mother make every exertion to help the man.’

‘That does make a difference,’ said Gillian, ‘but she shouldn’t have taken her father’s money. And wasn’t it dreadful of Constance to smuggle her letters? I’m quite glad Constance gets part of the punishment.’

‘Certainly, that might be just, Gillian, but unfortunately the loss falls infinitely more heavily upon Miss Hacket, who cannot afford the loss at all.’

‘Oh dear!’ cried Mysie.

‘I’m very sorry,’ said Gillian.

‘And, my dear girls, in all honour and honesty, we must make it up to her.’

‘Can’t we save it out of our allowance?’ said Mysie.

‘Sixpence a month from you, a shilling perhaps from Gill, how long would that take? No, my dear girls, I am going to put you to a heavy trial.’

‘Oh, mamma, don’t!’ cried Gillian, seeing what she was driving at. ‘Don’t give up the Butterfly’s Ball.’

‘Oh, don’t!’ implored Mysie, tears starting in her eyes. ‘We never saw a costume ball, and Fly wishes it so.’

‘And I thought you had promised,’ said Gillian.

‘Cousin Rotherwood assumes that I did; but I did not really accept. I told him I could not tell, for you know your Grandmamma Merrifield talked of coming here, and I cannot put her off. And now I see that it must be given up.’

‘It need only be calico!’ sighed Gillian, sticking pins in and out of the pincushion.

‘Fancy dresses even in calico are very expensive. Besides, I could not go to a place like Rotherwood without at least two new dresses, and it is not right to put papa to more expense.’

‘Oh, mamma! couldn’t you? You always do look nicer than any one,’ said Mysie.

‘My dear, I am afraid nothing I have at present would be suitable for a General’s wife at Lady Rotherwood’s party, and we must think of what would be fitting both towards our hostess and papa. Don’t you see?’

‘Ah! your velvet dress!’ sighed Gillian.