“You speak about serving so often.”
“Bearing the responsibility of a nation is nothing if not service. If your primary objective is simply to rule, to lord over, then you accomplish nothing.”
She studied him, the harsh, hard lines of his face. “If you disagreed with your brother’s style of leadership, why didn’t you say anything to him?”
“It was not my task. My task was very specific. And an agreement was struck between Malik and myself some years ago.”
“What was that?”
“If he would leave me alone, I would be at his disposal to protect our people,” Tarek said, his words layered with darkness. “A mutual agreement we both respected. He called upon me when aid was needed, and I gave it. Anything else would have been abandonment of my post, of the people I cared for. I am in a different position now.”
“You have the power now. That’s the brilliant thing about being sheikh. What do you want to wear? Who do you want to be?”
“I do not have the capacity to care about such a thing as clothing,” he said, “but perhaps there is a connection I am missing?”
She straightened, indicating the well-fitted white dress she was wearing. “Clothing is important. It presents a certain image. I would like to think mine conveys quiet luxury and sophistication. Something people prize in a queen, or so I was told.”
“I...I see how that could be.”
“Good,” she said. “You care about your people. I know you do.”
“More than my own life,” he said.
Her stomach tightened, that conviction, that bone-deep certainty of his opening up a cavern of longing from deep within. To have someone care about her with that ferocity. With that strength.
She swallowed hard. No. Even letting herself think about that was dangerous.
“We are in a new age in Tahar,” he said, his tone grave. “And I am able to lead us there. I will. Let us show them.”
“Well, seeing as we can’t put you on the back of a white stallion brandishing a sword, I’m going to go with a power suit. I’ll make some phone calls. We will be in touch.”
With that, she walked out of the bathroom, out of the bedroom, and beat a hasty retreat back to her own quarters. She needed some time alone. Needed some time to think. She had to get a handle on herself, because she couldn’t act in such a stupid, unthinking way again.
If nothing else, her own response to him, the emotional fallout of it, was reason enough.
She knew better than to need. Knew better than to depend on anyone.
She simply needed to remember.
CHAPTER FIVE (#ufeb836f5-7d75-53a1-a50f-f8962b883eb5)
TAREK HAD SUCCESSFULLY avoided being directly involved in Olivia’s machinations for four days. Since coming to the palace, he had craved silence with a severity that bordered on madness. Since Olivia had arrived nearly a week ago it had intensified.
Since the moment she had touched him in his bathroom it had become even worse.
He was not innocent of the ways of the world, not a fool, either. He understood what the heat and fire in his blood meant, understood why she had been touching him. But he had made vows. To the earth, to himself. He was a man of singular purpose, and that had meant eschewing earthly pleasures. When it came to food he ate to survive, and when it came to sex...
It turned out a man did not need it to survive.
In fact, he had survived thirty years without. As a teenage boy banished to the desert, he had been far too broken to care. As a man grappling with his purpose, with the memories that still crowded in at night, echoes of pain that would push any human to the brink of sanity, he had reminded himself what had brought him through. The only way to withstand torture was to focus on what lay beyond it. The bright spot. The hope. The purpose.
He had stripped back his needs to one thing so long ago that he could not remember a day when his desires had been layered. When he had relished the feel of a soft bed, enjoyed the flavor of a meal or fantasized about what it would be like to touch the lush curves of a woman’s body. Memories lost to him, desires destroyed.
Every single one of them had flooded back to him the moment Olivia had placed her soft fingertips on his bare chest.
For the first time in years he had craved something sweet to eat, a sumptuous, well-appointed bed. And to see what was beneath her clothes.
That was why he had pushed her away. Contained in that one simple touch had been a weakness so complete, so repellent, he had no choice but to turn away from it.
Though she spoke the truth. Were they to be married, there would be no turning away from his duty as a husband. His duty as a sheikh.
He needed an heir.
Still, all would be possible. It was simply a matter of refocusing his purpose. And he was in the process of doing just that. They had spoken about his intentions as a ruler the other day, and as much as he would like to do nothing more than resent her presence, he had to acknowledge that she was helping. He scarcely recognized the man he saw in the mirror now. Far from the beast he had been when he had first arrived here, he now resembled someone he could imagine sitting on the throne.
His hair had been cut short. He was still getting used to the feel of it.
He felt like a man who had been pulled up out of the pit. Still orienting to the sunlight. To being aboveground.
Of course, his ability to avoid Olivia and continue to regain his equilibrium would end today. She had arranged for him to be dressed. As though he was a doll. She had been insistent that clothing was important, and when she had applied it to herself, he could well see her point.
She wore thin dresses made of luxurious fabrics that settled over her sleek, fascinating curves in an easy manner. It was difficult to look away from her, in part because of the cut of her clothing, he was convinced. She did indeed convey authority, a sense of belonging. She could have materialized from the gems and gold in the walls of the palace, precious metals come to life.
In that way, she would make a wonderful sheikha. At least one of them would look as though they had been born to serve in a palace.
For his part, he would protect his people. That much he knew.
The doors to his bedchamber burst open wide and in came the object of his thoughts, followed by another woman he had never seen before. That woman was pushing a rack full of clothing, her expression of determination mirrored by Olivia.
“This is Serena. She is now the official dresser here in the palace. You will make use of her. Starting now.”
“Hello, Olivia. It has been a few days since we’ve spoken,” he said.
“Hi,” she said. “I assume that screen over there will do for you to dress behind.”
He looked between the two women, processing the idea that he would need to change behind a screen. He had no modesty to protect. He imagined, therefore, that it was for their own comfort.
He thought back to the other day. To Olivia placing her hand on his chest.
Perhaps the screen would be wise.
Serena moved the rack to the ornate divider and Tarek followed suit. He stepped behind it, grabbing the first bundle of clothing from the rack and set about undressing, and redressing. He could hear Olivia and Serena speaking in hushed tones. He had no real desire to know what it was they were discussing.
He paid no attention to what he was putting on. He had no way of assessing suitability. He simply had to trust Olivia’s senses.
Serena approached him, the measuring tape in her hands, a determined expression on her face. She placed her hands on his shoulder, stretching the tape across them. And he waited. Waited for a feeling similar to the one he’d had when Olivia had touched him. But it didn’t come.
There was no heat. Nothing but the cool pressure of the tape and her touch buffeted by the layers of clothing.