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Crazy, Stupid Sex

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Год написания книги
2019
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No, his dark hair was perfection. She wanted to run her fingers through it. Or pull it. That was one of the sex tips she’d read. Some guys were into that.

And now he was talking to her. She wished she were in a business meeting. Then it wouldn’t matter how hot the guy was, she would know what to say. She would know what to do with her hands.

She wouldn’t be so sweaty.

She was beyond competent in every other area of her life and she just didn’t know how to do this.

The damn app needed to be able to flirt for her. Give a command, and it would do her bidding. But that was asking a bit much of artificial intelligence.

Siri, I’d like to get laid…

There are ten horny, sexy men in your area.

Not likely.

“So, what’s in your app?” he asked, leaning on the bar.

“Nothing finalized yet. I mean, I’m not writing all the content, I’m programming it. Though I am taking some things straight from articles. You can create a profile that helps customize your fashion and flirt type. It has…hot spots, to help you find the right kind of guy for you. You know, athletes, businessmen. You can send messages. There’s quick dating tips and…sex tips.”

“Sex tips?”

“Yeah,” she said, putting her hands on her hips. “Sex tips. Fifty of them.”

“Fifty? I’m going to have to hear about those.”

Evie took a deep breath and leaned in a little, ignoring the fact that she wobbled on her heels a bit. Ignoring the fact that she was so nervous she could hardly breathe. She had nothing to lose. Three unsuccessful attempts already and she was starting to feel like a failure.

It was time to lay it all on the line.

“What if I showed you instead?”

Chapter Two

Steps five through eight had effectively been skipped. She’d moved straight to step nine: The Proposition. The only thing after this was Closing the Deal. And that was a thinly-veiled euphemism for “letting him put his penis inside you.” Which was not her desired end result, but, really, this should provoke him to suggest a deal-closing. Which would technically mean she was a rousing success and could go home and put on her flannel pajamas.

In theory.

Her dating history wasn’t super illustrious. One man. She’d been with one man, and they’d hooked up in high school, and back then, her standard for a datable male had been A) breathing and B) not oblivious to her existence. Jason had been both of those things, and so one night they’d sort of ended up sitting at the same table at a popular burger hangout and the rest had been history.

She’d given him her V card as a matter of course. He’d asked her to prom, he’d brought her a corsage. And he’d gotten a hotel room you could rent by the hour. He’d done the expected things, so she’d done the expected things.

And thus it had gone on.

Well, that wasn’t her anymore.

She didn’t need a relationship. She didn’t want one. Hell, she was a woman at the top. A blinking multimillionaire by age twenty-seven, and no one had helped her get there. It was all her.

She was in charge. And she was going to have Caleb the annoying bar hottie to demand she show him her sex tips!

“You want to show me your sex tips?” he asked. His lips were curved into a half-smile, and rather than looking uncontrollably aroused he looked…amused. That wasn’t what she was going for.

She tucked her hair behind her ear. “Yeah. That’s what I said. You. Me. Sex. Tips.”

“Tell me something, Evie.”

“Okay.”

“Why is it you’re out to pick up a man tonight?”

“The app.”

He shrugged. “Okay, you win the prize. You’ve picked me up. Now you don’t have to follow through. Your methods worked. The app is a stunning success.”

She frowned. This was supposed to be sweet victory, and yet, in the moment it rang hollow. “You seem so into it, far be it for me to doubt whether or not I’ve scored,” she said dryly, “but I sort of doubt it.”

“But say you had. And that it all worked. Do you want to follow through?”

She blinked. She looked around the bar, at the guys she’d struck out with. If they’d asked her to go back to their place she’d be back at her place alone drinking a Moscato. She for damn sure would not have said yes.

But Caleb asking if she wanted to follow through?

The idea was tempting in a way she hadn’t anticipated.

“I…the data is skewed because you know about the app,” she said. “I can’t ever be sure.”

“Sure you can. I would like to take you back to my place and have sex with you, Evie. What’s your answer?”

She opened her mouth and nothing came out. And that’s when she realized, she was seriously considering naked touching with a stranger. And she’d been warned about strangers. No matter how much candy a guy claimed to have in his van, she knew better than to go with him. She knew that.

Yeah, she was nervous as hell. And if any of the other guys were standing where he was? She would be saying game over. Flirt level: Awesome, achieved. No sex required. Just as planned.

But now? Now she was looking at this guy, the hottest guy she’d ever seen, and thinking why not?

Because this wasn’t about an app, or a flirting experiment. This was about demanding something other than mediocrity. Something better than a guy she got naked for just because he was there and it was expected.

She wanted a guy who would tear her clothes off like she was a present on Christmas morning. And she’d never had it. She’d never been able to ask for what she really wanted. And any time she’d tried, Jason had just acted like she’d asked him to hide a body, not go down on her. That list of sex tips? She would have been too embarrassed to leave it on Jason’s pillow, much less verbally ask for any of them.

And what was that? She was a professional woman who had total control over her life, and yet she’d never asked for what she wanted in bed. She’d never pushed for excellence there, even when she demanded it in all other areas of her life.

“Okay, you want the truth?” she asked.

“Depends.”

“On?”

His smile widened. “If I’ll like a lie better.”

“I don’t lie well. I’m honest. Painfully so. It’s part of the awkwardness, which, I am aware of, by the way. It works for me in some settings.”
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