He seemed to think that he had only one layer, that this was the sum total of what he was, as though you could leave versions of yourself behind like an exoskeleton. Victoria knew better. Victoria knew that the part of herself that had betrayed her family still existed. She knew it, and that was why she kept it squashed. Forgetting what you were capable of doing didn’t do anyone any favors.
And she was capable of great stupidity.
She wondered why it was Dmitri Markin thought he had defeated his old demons entirely. Then she wondered if somehow he had. And for a moment she envied him. Because she would never be free of those past versions of herself. All she could do was try to atone for them.
“I know there are all sorts of people who believe in past lives,” he said, “who believe that when we die we are reincarnated as someone or something else. I’m not sure about that. But I do know that sometimes things in this life change you, burn you, leave everything you were as nothing more than ashes at your feet. And when that happens, you have no choice but to walk forward into a new life. Whether you want to or not.”
“That sounds...bleak.”
“Perhaps. But I’ve had many changes since then. All to do with Colvin. And the reason this charity is so important to me. Thanks to him, I am not the man I was.”
“Who were you?” she asked.
“A very bad man,” he said. His words sent a shiver through her, down her spine and to her feet.
“And now you’re a good man?” she asked, her voice thinner than she’d like it to be.
“I wouldn’t say that. But not as dangerous.”
Her heart bumped hard against her chest. “You were dangerous?”
He did nothing more than flash a smile, and this time she was certain she saw a predatory edge to it. “I find it best to leave the past buried.”
Something about the way he said this sent trail of ice down to the pit of her stomach, making her shiver, causing goose bumps to break out on her arms.
“So...I suppose we should finalize things. I have other appointments.” She was suddenly very aware of the fact that he was still standing there in a towel, and even more aware of the fact that somewhere over the past couple of minutes she had forgotten. She would love to feel triumphant about that, love to feel triumphant about the fact that she had obviously mastered whatever thing was happening to her when she saw his muscles. But she knew that wasn’t the case. That was oversimplifying. She was distracted, and that was unforgivable. Because the moment you became distracted, you revealed your weaknesses. She had done it in the past, and she refused to do it now. Something about him had drawn her in, made her lose her sense of time and space, and she could not allow that to happen again.
“As do I. When would you propose we make this official?”
“Tonight. We had reservations at a private dining room at a restaurant on the Thames. It was very romantic. We had a lovely time.”
“You really have thought of everything,” he said.
“I have. Rest assured that several people saw us arrive, and several people saw us leave looking very happy. We came and went by way of the back entrance, so it was only restaurant staff who saw us. Do we have an accord?”
He only looked at her for a moment. Then he nodded his head once, his expression unchanging. “We have a deal. Your family company is yours once we terminate the engagement, provided you help me establish my charity.”
“Excellent,” she said, trying not to betray the utter relief that had washed over her.
“So, what would you have done about your little ruse had I refused you?”
She laughed, ignoring the twist of nerves in her stomach. She had done it. She had got his yes. Got him to agree, and now she could leave. She could see the light at the end of a tunnel that was more than a decade long. She could have sagged with relief. Melted straight into a puddle of Victoria on the floor.
But up front, she stood firm. “Oh, you were never going to refuse. I knew that. And there were safeguards in place just in case, because I’m tidy like that. But they weren’t needed because you were never going to refuse.”
His expression hardened and so did his voice. “No,” he said, “I don’t suppose I was.”
“And with that, I bid you good evening. We will be in touch tomorrow to discuss a ring. I’m very classic. I quite like a white diamond.”
“And I’m old-fashioned, as well,” he said. “I would like very much for my fiancеe to be surprised by the choice of ring. Failing that, I shall choose the diamond that is most convenient to me.”
She gritted her teeth, annoyance spiking through her. Clearly, he was going to fight her every step of the way. “Do as you see fit.” She nodded once and started to walk out of the room, holding her breath as she moved past him, trying to avoid breathing in the fragrance of soap, skin and a scent that she disturbingly suspected was unique to him. But she kept her posture straight, kept herself from acknowledging the fact that she was affected by him. And with that, she strode out the way that she came in.
Victoria Calder intensely disliked places like this, but she did love a victory. And this one was so close she could taste it.
CHAPTER THREE (#u4a7d9962-27b5-52e8-9ee2-96b7ab84c026)
BY ONE O’CLOCK Dmitri Markin had already had a full day. He had sent his personal assistant after a ring. A yellow diamond in a platinum setting, because he wanted to see what Victoria’s reaction would be to his defiance of her order.
He did not take orders, and she would discover that quickly. He also didn’t take well to her coming in and attempting to manipulate him, to take full rein of the situation. So he was taking control now.
He had also alerted the media. He’d told them that the two of them had been involved in a covert relationship for the past couple of months, and that last night it had resulted in an engagement. While they were on a dinner date. Which matched up with witnesses’ accounts of last night’s sighting.
Victoria Calder would realize very quickly that this was his show now. And he would conduct it as he saw fit.
Now all that was left was to speak to his darling fiancеe, who was currently five minutes late. He did not take kindly to people running late. Of course, it might’ve been helpful for him to inform her that she was supposed to meet him with a bit more time for her to actually make the commute to his end of London. She had been somewhere quite a bit away, and traffic would be fairly awful at this time of day, as it was awful at any time of day.
He could very well imagine that she hated to be late, and he had all but guaranteed that she would be. The enjoyment he felt at the thought of her annoyance did somewhat temper his irritation.
And his irritation vanished completely when she burst through the door of his office, with his assistant on her heels, her blond hair escaping from its neat bun, her cheeks pink.
“So sorry to keep you waiting.” Her tone said that she was anything but sorry; in fact it did not denote apology of any kind. In fact, she sounded quite venomous. He found that quite enjoyable.
She had already backed him into a corner, her logic and facts more persuasive than a cattle prod. And here he was again, faced with a fait accompli. Faced with giving away the very last piece of his twisted soul.
He nearly laughed. Perhaps that would have been an issue if he’d had a piece of his soul left. Sadly, he was almost certain he didn’t. Not even a twisted one.
“I am a very busy man, and I do not like to be kept waiting.” He looked behind Victoria’s shoulder at his very put-out-looking assistant. “Of course that does not include you, darling.”
He could see Victoria’s muscles visibly tighten at the endearment, but his assistant’s face relaxed. Undoubtedly Louise had been afraid an intruder had got past her.
“Very giving of you, dearest,” Victoria sniffed. She crossed the room, and sat in the chair that was positioned in front of his desk.
“That will be all, Louise.” His assistant nodded, the relieved expression still on her face as she closed the door. “Nice of you to finally join me.”
“Yes, well, I was at a luncheon. I had to leave, quite abruptly. It was very rude. And I am never rude.”
“Are you not?”
“Not in public.”
“What else don’t you do in public?”
She blinked. “A great many things,” she said crisply.
“There isn’t much I won’t do in private. Or in public.” He said it to get a rise out of her, but as the words escaped his lips, and as the color deepened in her cheeks, he could not help but experience a rush of heat through his own veins. Because it made him think of all the things that a man could do in public, or private, with a woman like Victoria. Truly, there was very little he would not do with her in either setting. Especially with her.
Then he reminded himself that there was much easier game to be had. He was working with her, using her to his advantage, and that meant sex was most definitely out of the question. Of course, given the fact that they were to be playing at being a couple, and that introducing anyone else into their charade would be something of a liability, it was very likely there would be no sex for the foreseeable future. The thought made him frown. Deeply.