A Tall, Dark Cowboy Christmas

But there was always some part of her...some small part that glowed bright sometimes and made her ache.

Hope.

Yeah. Well, for all the good hope had done her. She was filthy and cold and had no money. She’d do better to expect him to turn out to be a creep than a nice person who was actually offering to feed her for nothing.

He stared back at her, his features completely shadowed still. “No. Not really.”

It was the lack of niceness that made her hackles lower, just a bit.

There was something about that honesty that struck her. People were never honest. At least, they weren’t kind and honest. There were people who were cruel, who spent no small amount of time lecturing her about how her circumstances were her own fault.

And maybe they were.

Sure, she’d been sent out to live on her own at eighteen with a garbage bag full of her belongings, but there were plenty of people who didn’t have advantages in life who probably did better than she did.

But people like this... Who could openly admit they didn’t actually care, but offered help, anyway...

There were no people like this. She had no idea what kind of anomaly she was staring down right now.

“Do you want food?” he asked, sounding irritated and impatient now.

“Yes,” she said, scrambling to a standing position. She looked at her blanket, and her backpack.

“Grab those,” he said.

Right. Because of course he was willing to bait her out of the cabin with food, but it wasn’t like he was going to let her stay here. She felt pressure behind her eyes, but she knew she wouldn’t cry. She had quit doing that a long time ago. There was no point.

“Okay,” she said, taking hold of the blanket and her bag and holding them both close.

The man took a step forward, holding out his hand, and that was when her lantern caught his face.

He was...

He was beautiful.

His dark hair was a little bit shaggy, and he had a light beard that might be intentional, or might just be because he hadn’t shaved for a few days. His nose was straight, his lips firm looking, set into a flat line. His shoulders were broad, and so was his chest, his waist lean, the tight T-shirt suggesting that he was also...well, fully and completely built.

She hadn’t made any assumptions about his looks when he had first come in, mostly because he had shocked her, waking her from a dead sleep. And then... He had sounded a bit like a curmudgeon, so she had assumed that he was an older man. But now she thought he couldn’t be much older than thirty.

“Let me take those,” he said, taking the bag and blanket from her.

She started to protest, but he had taken them before she could get the words out. It made her feel naked. He had her things. Everything she owned in the entire world. Except the lantern. She bent down and picked it up, clutching it to her chest. She would hold that.

He didn’t offer to take it from her. He turned, without a word, and walked out of the cabin, clearly just expecting her to follow.

There was an offer of food, so of course she was.

She scrambled after him. It was still dark outside, and it was cold. She had a jacket, but it was in her bag, and currently Mr. Tall, Dark and Cranky was holding it. So she figured the best thing to do would be to follow along.

The place he led her to was a small cabin, but he didn’t go to the front door; instead, he went to an old truck. “We’re going to drive to my brother’s house. It’s on the property. But I don’t really want to walk.”

She didn’t, either. In fact, she had a feeling that he didn’t mind one way or another, but had sensed that maybe she didn’t. Knew that she was cold.

Right. He doesn’t care. Don’t go applying warm and fuzzy motives to him.

She climbed cautiously into his truck, closing the door behind her. “A gentle reminder,” she said when he started the engine. “I do have a knife.”

“Yeah,” he responded, starting the engine and putting the truck in Reverse. “Me, too.”

“Why do you have a knife?”

“For all I knew you had a gun.”

She sputtered. “If I had a gun and you had a knife it wouldn’t help you.”

“It’s just a good thing it didn’t get to that.”

“Well. See that it doesn’t.”

“I know,” he said, his tone dry. “You’ll cut me.”

They didn’t speak for the short drive down the bumpy, pothole-filled dirt road. McKenna folded her hands in her lap and stared down at her fingers. There was dirt under her nails.

You’re homeless. It’s been days since you’ve had a shower.

It was amazing how you could push all of those things to the side, but the minute you had to interact with another person—a beautiful person—it all came rushing back.

“Where are we going?” Suddenly, she was full of panic.

“To my brother’s house,” he repeated. He had said that already.

“And he’s going to be there?”

“Yes,” he responded.

“Oh,” she said, looking back out the window.

So, someone else was going to see her like this. She didn’t really care. Her entire life had been a series of inglorious situations. It was just that this was the worst.

She’d done a pretty good job of letting shame roll off for most of her life. She’d been the poor kid. Had never had cool clothes. Had never been able to have friends over. Had been shuffled around homes, some good, some bad. She’d built up some tough armor over the years.

But this was a new low, and apparently...apparently shame still existed inside of her.

They pulled up to the house and her heart sank into her stomach. She hadn’t fully realized where she was. She had hitchhiked to the edge of town, and she had fully intended on camping out in the woods. She had happened upon a collection of cabins on the edge of the woods, and then had circled around, and found a dilapidated, abandoned one deeper in. She had realized she was camping out in a place people stayed in for money, but she hadn’t realized people also lived there.

Or that it was quite so fancy.

Her companion got out of the truck and headed toward the broad front steps that led to the porch. She just sat there. She took a breath, and opened the door. There was no point being timid. No point feeling like crap. She knew what she was.