Miss Masala

1 small onion

1cm (

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in) root ginger

1 garlic clove

2 tbsp oil

1 tsp coriander powder

1 tsp cumin powder

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tsp turmeric powder

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tsp chilli powder

1 tsp garam masala

1 large handful of fresh coriander, roughly chopped

salt

1. First cut the cauliflower into large bite-sized florets. This will prevent them from falling apart once they start cooking. Peel and quarter the potatoes and peel and finely chop the onion, ginger and garlic.

2. Warm the oil in a large frying pan set over a high heat. When it starts to sizzle, add the onions, garlic and ginger and fry for about 5 minutes until they soften and turn translucent. Next, throw in the potatoes and all the spices, apart from the garam masala.

3. Add a tablespoon of water, cover the pan with a lid and partly cook the potatoes for 5–10 minutes. When you can insert a fork into them, but with some difficulty, it’s time to add the cauliflower florets. It’s crucial not to add the cauliflower too early, however – you don’t want it to overcook!

4. Once you’ve added the cauliflower, stir well to incorporate with the other ingredients, cover the pan once again and cook for 3–4 minutes until the florets are soft but still whole.

5. Sprinkle the garam masala all over, add salt to taste and finish with a handful of chopped coriander.

Palak Paneer (#ulink_bd902ea1-c66f-5c24-b2bc-fc19c180d2c0)

Indian cheese in a spiced spinach purée

By far the most popular recipe on my blog, and it’s no surprise why: soft chunks of paneer and spiced spinach purée are a match made in heaven and the last thing I will eat if I ever find myself on the way to hell.

Fresh spinach works just fine in this recipe. But why bother, when freshly frozen spinach is more nutritious and is almost always sitting in a big bag in the freezer. Make loads in one go – you’ll crave this for at least two days afterwards.

Feeds 4 Vegetarian

225g (8oz) paneer

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tsp turmeric powder

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tsp chilli powder

1 medium onion

4 garlic cloves

2.5cm (1in) root ginger

2 tbsp oil

1 large fresh green finger chilli

1 tsp cumin powder

500g (1lb 2oz) frozen spinach

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tsp garam masala

salt

1. Chop the block of paneer into even, bite-sized pieces. In a large bowl, mix the paneer pieces with the turmeric and chilli and a teaspoon of salt, then set aside.

2. Now, peel and roughly chop the onion, then peel and purée the ginger and garlic with a hand blender. Pour the oil into a large non-stick frying pan and set over a high heat. When the oil is hot, add the paneer and fry on one side until golden brown and then flip the pieces over and repeat on the opposite side. Remove the paneer with a slotted spoon and place back in the bowl.

3. In the same frying pan and using the oil left in the pan, fry the onions, ginger and garlic. While these are cooking, roughly chop the chilli. When the onions start going translucent, after about 5 minutes, mix in the cumin and the chilli. Fry for a further 5 minutes until the mixture turns a deep golden brown.

4. Now mix in the frozen spinach and let it cook for 5 minutes. When it is thoroughly defrosted in the pan and evenly mixed with the masala, add half a mug of hot water and go in with a hand blender to liquidise the whole lot into a smooth, creamy mixture. Alternatively, you could whiz the spinach in a food processor for the same result.

5. When the spinach mixture is smooth, pour it back into the pan, then add the fried paneer pieces and the garam masala. Lower the heat and simmer for 10 minutes until all the liquid has evaporated and the spinach has absorbed the spices evenly (taste a little just to check).

6. At this point, add salt to taste. You’ll need to add a fair bit to offset the blandness of the spinach. But this dish is worth it. Eat it piping hot as a side dish or with some ready-made naans for a complete meal.

I ARRIVED HOME FROM WORK FEELING INSPIRED. Ready to roll my sleeves up and set the pots on the fire. But it’s never quite that simple. I first had to change into a retro nightdress (for which, read ‘old, torn’), pour myself a vodka lemonade and fire up the laptop. The urgent pleas of desperate new converts to Indian cooking around the world required an immediate response on my Quick Indian Cooking blog:

Help, I have no raisins! Done.

Do you have a single sister? Ignore.

Would you like to enlarge your penis? Bin.