Letting Go!

“You know,” she told Tina as she thrust the bowl into the microwave and then headed toward the table to scoop up the chocolate “I think I might have developed an appetite after all.” Emma bit into the delicious white chocolate with a smile of pure ecstasy. “I don’t know what I’ve been waiting for. From now on I’m going to be eating my dessert first.”

TONY ENDERLIN looked around the tiny stateroom with trepidation. “Why did I think this would be okay?” he asked himself aloud, fighting a severe case of claustrophobia. “I shouldn’t be here.”

In all fairness the cabin wasn’t tiny and the ceiling was high enough for his six-foot frame to clear with room to spare, but it was the illusion of smallness that had him breathing hard. The way the doors sealed made him feel as if there wasn’t enough air in the room.

Once, when he’d been six years old, he’d followed his cousin into one of those big, silver drainage pipes and then his cousin had hidden from him. In his hysteria Tony had actually run the wrong way, into a smaller pipe, where he’d tripped over the carcass of a long-dead animal and then slid into a puddle of rank water.

Small debris had fallen down on him every time he’d tried to get to his feet so he’d huddled in the dark with his imagination on Fast Forward while his body was firmly on Pause. That had been the longest twenty minutes of Tony’s life. He’d been unable to move, even when his cousin had finally located him. That panic always crept back to choke him in closed-in areas, despite his best attempts to control his weakness.

That was one of the reasons he’d chosen Denver to call home; he’d never feel claustrophobic on a mountain. He threw himself down on the bed, rolled over on his back, and closed his eyes, pretending he was out on the deck with the endless blue sky above him. Slowly, his breathing smoothed out.

See how easy it is to stay in control? he told himself.

Except this cruise had really thrown him off.

One of the guys from the office had booked the private room on the cruise ship after a big fight with his girlfriend, and then they’d made up and eloped the very next day. As a married man, the guy couldn’t very well go on a singles’ cruise unless he wanted a divorce, so he’d offered Tony the opportunity to go on the cruise.

Aw, tell the truth. You’re here because Emma Daniels is here.

It seemed she’d been persuaded to go on the singles’ cruise to recuperate from her embarrassing boyfriend fiasco, and then the ticket had become available for him to use. Tony’s Mexican grandmother, who’d given him his middle name of Andres, would praise the saints and call it fate, in fluent Spanish.

Tony called it opportunity. And he could have done so in fluent Spanish if he was so inclined.

Could a woman really be worth all of this trouble?

Oh yeah. Emma had a quick mind and a wicked sense of humor. And that body. Who would have known the siren would have a body to match the sultry voice?

Since he’d been on site in Jacksonville, he’d only seen her through the window or from down the hall. Her dark blond hair always seemed to be trying to curl out of the braid thing she wore. It actually looked kinda nice, like a crown or something. Maybe that was why he thought she looked like a princess. But he didn’t want to rescue her. He just wondered how her hair might look spread out and curling on a pillow.

Her height seemed average and her weight was just right, curvy in all the right places. Her eyes were blue. Or so he believed. Tony hadn’t gotten nearly close enough to see her eyes and not for a lack of trying.

Fate or opportunity?

It didn’t matter what you called it. He planned to get to know Emma Daniels. She’d looked so vulnerable sitting in the break room in the middle of the afternoon. And Tony hadn’t found the opportunity to talk to her in person, though her witty e-mails had kept him going and she’d called his cell phone over concerns for the new software. Anderson-Harding was a big place and he’d seen it all except for the one person he wanted to meet.

He grinned, thinking of one particular lawyer who’d used up all of his RAM downloading porn, some of which had actually made Tony uncomfortable. Especially since one of the blondes on the screen had looked enough like Emma to spark all kinds of thoughts he’d be better off not thinking. He’d obviously been devoting too much time developing his new program.

Perhaps that was why Emma had made such an impression on him—too many long hours at the computer with only her voice on the phone to lure him away from the keyboard. He’d looked forward to their conversations, even when they were discussing the most casual topics. Her satiny-smooth voice had curled around him. The husky laugh had stimulated his imagination.

So when he’d picked up and traveled to Florida from Denver, it wasn’t for the beaches. He’d needed to put a face to the voice that haunted his dreams.

This is silly. She’s just a woman. Not a siren. Or medieval princess. It’s my imagination that’s my enemy. Emma’s just a regular girl who will bore me to distraction after a couple of dates. Then I’ll welcome getting back to my latest computer program.

Right now he couldn’t concentrate. He couldn’t work. He didn’t like unsolved puzzles and his reaction to Emma was a puzzle. A puzzle he intended to take apart piece by piece until the enchantment went away.

I’ll never know if I stay here feeling like the ceiling’s coming down on my head.

Impatient with wasting his time and eager to begin his vacation and his quest, Tony climbed off the bunk, wincing only a little at his head’s close proximity to the ceiling.

He went over to his duffel bag and reached inside for his swimsuit. Time to relax in a lounge chair by the pool and have a drink. Out where the sky was the limit and fate could take a leap.

Tony fully intended to enjoy his vacation. Maybe he’d pretend he was a player. He could do it. Warming to the idea, he smiled to himself. He’d play the hell outta the women on the cruise. After all, they expected to be romanced. It would be fun, like living in one of his role-playing games. And it would be smart to spread himself around, rather than spend all his time focused on Emma, a woman who couldn’t possibly live up to what he’d built her up to be. He might even have a go at the slick lady lawyer.

TINA STEPPED over the lip of the doorway leading into the cabin. She noted that the bunks looked comfortable tucked against the wall and there was more floor space than she’d anticipated. The balcony door was covered by a colorful curtain. “I just love having a cabin with a balcony. It feels so luxurious,” she announced.

Emma didn’t look up from unpacking her suitcases. “The balcony’s great. I just hope I won’t be spending the entire cruise out there staring at the water because I’m too chicken to mingle with the men. All week I’ve been a nervous wreck anticipating this cruise.”

“You won’t have any trouble. Why are you unpacking so diligently? I left my luggage with a handsome young man—Italian, I think, although his English was gorgeous.”

Emma finally looked up from where she’d been sorting the clothing. “I can’t find anything—”

“Oh wow! What have you done to your hair?”

Emma reached up to touch the straight hair just brushing the tops of her shoulders. “I got it cut and highlighted. Then the hairdresser sold me some expensive mousse that actually tames the frizz. It’s your fault. You kept telling me that French braids were definitely out.”

Tina took the few steps separating them in the small cabin, tossed her bag on her bunk, then fluffed Emma’s hair with her fingers. “It looks fabulous. Kind of ‘rock star’ and ‘waif’ at the same time. Maybe I should go back to being a blonde.” She patted her own hair into place.

“I love yours. Every time it’s different and yet just right. How do you do that?”

“I pay a hairdresser outrageously to know what to do. All I care about is that it changes once in a while. I don’t like to be bored. In fact I don’t remember exactly what my natural color is,” she teased her friend.

“Why can’t I be more adventurous like you?” Emma mused.

“Because you’re so perfect at being Emma. Why would you want to be me? Your problem is that you don’t see yourself very clearly.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, you’ve got all the basic equipment to be gorgeous, interesting and seductive but you don’t always follow through.”

“I’m not sure I know how.”

“Why let idiots like Brad define you? Gorgeous is just making the most of your assets. Oh, that reminds me…” Tina walked over to the bed and rifled through Emma’s suitcase until she came across a one-piece bathing suit, which she ceremoniously dropped in the trash can beside the desk in the compact cabin. “And I do mean assets. You’ll need to buy a thong in the ship’s store.”

“A thong? I couldn’t wear a thong!”

“Why not?” Tina patted Emma on the butt. “Honey, you’ve got the ass. Just get used to showing it off.”

“I brought a skinny little black dress like you told me.” Emma gazed longingly at the trash can.

“That’s good. A little black dress is a must. And I brought some amazing makeup. The new you will be a striking, mysterious creature who doesn’t tell all of the truth but just enough to be interesting.”

“I’m not very good at lying.” Her voice rose. “Why do I have to lie?”

“Why not? You’re never going to see any of these men again. Anyway, I didn’t say to lie. I just said to make the truth more interesting. You can even tell him something so true you’ve never told anyone else. Be daring. You’re playing a game. The men on a singles’ cruise expect you to play games and they really want to play along.”

Emma seemed to be mulling that over; she tapped her chin with her forefinger as she usually did when she was thinking. The girl was brilliant. And pretty. And she didn’t have a catty bone in her body. That was why she and Tina were such good friends. Emma had confidence where it counted, she didn’t see Tina as a threat, as most women did. She just saw her as a friend.

“Hey, are you in there?” Tina prodded as she bent down to retrieve her overnight case.