“Yeah,” he said and lowered his head as he splayed his fingers behind the nape of her neck. “Very nice.” He pressed his mouth against hers and kissed her.
She should pull away, but he felt so good, so firm, so strong. Clinging to his shoulders, she held on as he took her mouth on a sensual journey of pleasure.
When he finally pulled away, she was gasping for air. “Um,” she whispered.
He pressed his index finger against her lips. “Don’t say anything. I don’t understand what’s happening between you and me. I just know something is. We’ll figure it out. Okay?”
Unable to produce a sound, she nodded slowly. He had such a strange, potent effect on her. She knew she needed to remain in control. She needed to remain rational, but Rafe affected her on a cellular level, far beyond reason.
“Okay,” she murmured and he helped her out of the car and up the stairs.
She turned to face him, feeling the solid door behind her. She needed the sensation of hard wood when her brain and heart felt like mush. “Thank you,” she said.
“You are very welcome, Nicole,” he said and cupped her jaw with a hand, massaging her mouth open. He slid his tongue inside, tasting her, taking her as much as he could, but letting her know that he wanted more, so much more.
Pulling back, he stared into her eyes. “Say the word and I’ll stay with you tonight.”
Her heart leapt into her throat and she couldn’t have formed a sound if her life depended on it. Not even a word. Her breath locked somewhere between her throat and her lungs.
He slid his finger down her throat. “Another time, then,” he said. “Another time and we’ll be together in every possible way.”
He walked away and she leaned against the door, praying her knees would hold her. Catching her breath, she mustered her strength. She pushed open her bedroom door and stumbled to the connecting bathroom. Turning on the light, she looked into the mirror and saw a woman with lips swollen from kisses, eyes nearly black with arousal and cheeks pink from heat. That woman was her. Nicole couldn’t remember ever feeling this way.
She felt dizzy with want and need. Covering her hot cheeks with her hands, she tried to regain her equilibrium. She needed to rein in her wants and needs. More than ever, she needed to focus on what was right for Joel, but Rafe was turning into a constant craving.
The following day, she had little chance to pull her guard in place. Rafe played with Joel in the heated pool, and Joel begged her to join them. Rafe’s gentleness with Joel chipped away at her defenses. Rafe taught Joel how to float, kick and dog paddle. After they ate sandwiches by the pool, Joel was tired enough for a nap.
Nicole took advantage of the downtime to rest in a chaise lounge beneath one of the large umbrellas. Feeling the weight shift in her chair, she opened her eyes to see Rafe leaning over her. His hair still damp from the pool, his tanned, broad shoulders dotted with water, he brushed a strand of hair from her cheek.
“Looks like Mom is almost as tired as the kid,” he said.
She nodded, closing her eyes to his effect on her, but she wasn’t sure it worked. “Between the time on the yacht and the trip to Fort Lauderdale, I’m pooped.”
“You like the sun, don’t you?”
She nodded again. “The heat feels good. The breeze is delicious.”
“Yeah,” he said. “Did you know the temperature in Atlanta is forty-six?”
She met his taunting gaze. “You had to tell me that, didn’t you?”
He gave a low chuckle that rippled through her. “I could make you like it here. A lot.”
She closed her eyes. “I was relaxing until you started talking about Atlanta.”
“If Atlanta makes you tense, then all the more reason to stay here,” he said and covered her lips with his fingers before she could protest that he was making her tense. “Relax,” he said. “You’re here in the promised land.”
She closed her eyes and tried not to think about what promises he could fulfill. She took a few deep breaths and drifted to sleep. Some time later, Joel appeared at her side and tugged at her arm.
“Wake up,” Joel said. “We’re gonna play Wii.”
Blinking, Nicole sat up, noticing that a soft towel had been draped over her. Surprised at how quickly the time had passed, she pulled Joel close for a hug. “When did you wake up?”
“A long time ago. You’ve been sleeping forever. I asked Daddy Rafe to wake you up, but he said to let you sleep. He put the blanket on you.” He tapped his foot impatiently. “I want to play Wii.”
Her heart stuttered at his reference to Rafe as Daddy. “Okay,” she said, smiling at him. “Go play Wii and I’ll get dressed.”
“Are you okay?” he asked.
She glimpsed a slice of fear in his eyes. “Of course I am. I was just extra sleepy.”
“You’re not sick, are you?”
Nicole’s heart twisted and she shook her head, taking him into her arms again. “No, sweetie. I just stayed up too late last night.”
He let out a big sigh of relief. “Okay.”
Nicole realized that more than ever she represented safety and security to Joel. What if something happened to her? What would happen to Joel? The possibility clawed at her. Even though she’d made backup plans, Nicole hated the idea of him feeling afraid and abandoned.
Her stomach pulled into a square knot. Even though she was still uncertain about Rafe, she could tell that he was determined to be responsible about his role as Joel’s father. She would need to teach him.
Later that evening, after Joel went to bed, Nicole broached the subject with Rafe. “I need to tell you how to be Joel’s father.”
He shot her an incredulous look. “You’re going to tell me how to be a father?”
“I’m going to educate you about your son’s needs and how you can best take care of those needs,” she said.
He crossed his arms over his chest. “I have some idea about what a boy needs.”
“Your ideas may not be correct,” she said. “For example, did you know that Joel reaches for his purple elephant whenever he’s feeling insecure?”
Rafe’s face fell. “Purple elephant?”
“His name is Fred,” she said.
“Fred?”
She shrugged. “Joel likes orange juice and apple juice. When he eats too many sweets, he gets cranky. When he doesn’t get to bed in time, he gets cranky.”
“How many sweets?” Rafe asked. “What time to bed? Ten?”
“More than two cookies,” she said. “Nine o’clock bedtime is pushing it. Eight o’clock is best. And as you saw yesterday, if he has a super-active day, he needs a nap. He does best with a schedule. You have to stick to it.”
“Why are you telling me all of this?”
She suddenly felt a pain in her chest and struggled to take a breath. “Because you need to know these things if you’re serious about being Joel’s father. I may not always be around.”
“Why not? Is this because you might want to take off with Gerard Thomas?”