Amusement Only

"Serious; I am afraid it's very, very serious. But we will do our best; always do our best. Let all the servants in the house be summoned, and let assistance be given to carry the poor dear sufferers up to their beds."

The little man took command of everything. The servants were summoned and they came trooping in. Several other doctors came in also. There is no necessity to specify their number. Brooks liberally carried out the instructions Hughes had given him. He fetched as many as he could. There were not one or two, but several. I have their bills.

CHAPTER IV

THE MISTAKE EXPLAINED

I will not dwell upon the dreadful details of that night. There are scenes, not necessarily pathetic scenes, on which a curtain should be drawn. Through it all I never once lost consciousness. I wish I had. One need but allude to the stomach pump to draw up visions from the vasty deep. Over such agonies let a veil be drawn. This is not an episode of vivisection. And, afterwards, when-when a too eager medical man, thinking the process had not gone far enough-he meant well; it was his zeal; may he be forgiven-tried emetics, mustard and water, and other preparations from the medical pharmacop[oe]ia-do not let us touch upon these subjects. Never, when the sea was at its wildest, among passengers entirely unused to the mysteries of navigation, was ever seen the like. I still live, and I was through it all. It is wonderful what a vigorous constitution will endure.

Mrs. Chalmers was put into my bedroom. There was nothing particular of mine lying about, but I would rather they had put her somewhere else. Margaret had the best guest-room, Pybus the second best, and I was put into an apartment which had not been occupied for years. It was done in the confusion, I suppose. Looking back, I am surprised they did not overlook me altogether. I wish they had. And all through the night the issue was hanging in the balance. Hamlet's question was waiting for an answer. "To be, or not to be?" What their sufferings were-Margaret's, her aunt's, and Pybus's-I can imagine when I let memory hark back to my own. But none of them succumbed. And in the morning I, for one, was able to leave my room; in fact, I insisted on doing so. Had I remained any longer in that dreadful chamber I should certainly have died. Pale and ghastly, with my dressing-gown wrapped round my trembling limbs, I descended to my snuggery. I felt that I was but the wreck of what once I was. Hughes was there-the sight of me seemed to give him pain-well it might! – and Dr. Dunn, and Dr. Goldsmith, and a Dr. Casey. He was a tall, thin man, with a serious manner. I always think of Dr. Casey when I think of Mr. Stiggins. Dunn seemed in quite a cheerful frame of mind.

"Well, that's over. With a little care, Mr. Lucas, you'll forget all about it in a week."

Never! But I did not tell him so. And he went on:

"And this all comes of what I venture to call a trifling indiscretion. You think it's jalap, and it's laudanum."

"Laudanum is not a thing to trifle with," said Dr. Casey.

"It certainly isn't a thing to drink in pailfuls."

As he said this, Dr. Goldsmith rattled his keys and coppers.

"Nor is it to be recommended as a liqueur with dessert-eh, Mr. Lucas?" Dunn rubbed his hands, and grinned at me.

"The poor lady," said Dr. Casey, "whom I treated found it a very serious matter."

This was Mrs. Chalmers.

"The sweet young thing," said Goldsmith, "for whom I did my best, did not seem to think that the occasion was altogether a festive one," and this was how he spoke of her.

"I dare say, Mr. Lucas," sniggered Dunn, "that you have spent far more agreeable nights."

Dunn was the fiend who had pushed his zeal too far. And now he laughed at me!

"Dr. Lambert," observed Dr. Casey, "who treated the other gentleman, assured me that his patient asked him to put him out of his misery rather than push his treatment further."

That was Pybus. I could easily believe it. Death was preferable to Dunn's emetics.

"Now, where is the bottle which contained the cause of all the mischief?"

The fatal bottle had been brought into my snuggery for safety. It was handed to Dunn. He sniffed at it.

"Hum!" He sniffed again. "Hum!" He seemed surprised. "Rather-rather an odd smell for laudanum. Smell that!"

He handed it to Goldsmith.

"Very" – sniff! – "odd" – sniff! – "indeed" – sniff. "You are sure it is the bottle?"

There was not the slightest doubt about its being the bottle. It was passed to Casey. He had a smell.

"This isn't laudanum," he declared.

"Not laudanum!" Back it went to Dunn.

"It doesn't smell like laudanum."

"It isn't laudanum," said Goldsmith.

"Not a trace of it," said Casey.

NOT laudanum! I looked at Hughes. He looked at me. Then he staggered towards that fatal bottle.

"Let me-let me smell it."

They let him. An extraordinary change came over his countenance as he applied it to his nose. He staggered against the wall.

"Good-good heavens!"

What was it? Had he mistaken the poison? Was it strychnine, arsenic, prussic acid? Would the treatment have to be gone through all over again? For me, death rather than that.

"I see it all," cried Hughes, "I see the mistake I made. After all, it was not the bottle I supposed. I remember now that I placed that upon the shelf above."

"What is it?" I screamed.

"It's-it's what I thought it was."

"What you thought it was?"

"It's 'Aunt Jane's Jalap.'"

"'Aunt Jane's Jalap!'"

The words came from the three medical gentlemen in a sort of chorus. As for me, in spite of my piteous condition, I felt inclined to tear my hair-and Hughes's!

"I see, quite clearly, how the mistake arose. It was in this way. There were two sample bottles of the mixture, only in one of them the quantities were wrong. I placed it where I generally keep my laudanum-so that I shouldn't mistake it. And when I found it missing, of course I thought it was the laudanum which had gone."

"Was it-was it poison?"

"Not a bit of it, dear boy! The finest medicine in the world! Only in that particular bottle there was a little too much jalap, and, taking it on the top of such a dinner as you'd been eating, it a little upset you-that was all."

That was all?

I thought of how those doctors had spent the night in practising on us their dreadful arts, of their bills, and-that was all.

WILLYUM

I had been seated in the next chair to hers for at least two minutes. I felt that it was time to introduce myself.