Without You

Regardless of how much booze he put in his body, it couldn’t override his thoughts of Hallie. She had set up housekeeping in his head and heart forever. He still loved her; her absence in his life hadn’t changed that.

But he couldn’t think about Hallie in those terms. She had moved on and up and was totally lost to him. In order not to lose himself, he had to concentrate on getting out of this latest trouble. With the mob breathing hot and heavy down his neck, there was no way he could afford to be charged with murder, arrested, and detained indefinitely. Suddenly he felt as though he had a ticking time bomb strapped to his body.

He must remain completely focused, no matter how much he would like to concentrate on Hallie and what might have been.

Five

Hallie loved her home.

The only problem was, she didn’t get to spend nearly as much time there as she would have liked. But it was by choice that she put in such long hours at the office. Without a husband or children to come home to, advancing in her career had been her goal. Now it appeared it was her life.

If she thought about that fact too much, it would depress her, so she made a conscious effort not to. Sighing, she plopped her briefcase in the nearest chair in the living room, then paused and surveyed her surroundings, which never failed to lift her spirits.

Brightened by the recessed ceiling lights, the spacious living area was an eclectic mixture of vivid colors and textures. A hodgepodge of family photos, books, antique cups and saucers occupied the shelves in the custom-made entertainment center.

In place of drapes, she had chosen white wooden shutters. During the day she opened them, letting the sunshine filtrate the room, giving it warmth and light. After sundown, the glow of the fireplace and burning candles replaced the sunlight.

After turning on the gas logs and lighting a couple of candles, Hallie walked to the windows. The gas lanterns were on, allowing her full view of the patio. First to greet her eyes were the mums she’d planted. She called them her pots of gold.

When she had any spare time, which wasn’t often, she loved to dig in the dirt, then watch her handiwork grow. That was often her panacea after a long, tension-filled day at the firm.

A year ago she had decided to bite the bullet and purchase this garden home with a fenced-in yard and patio. Until then, she had lived in a condo, where she had felt cramped and claustrophobic. She hadn’t been sorry a day since she’d made the change, though she didn’t spend as much time here as she had planned. She hoped that would soon change, especially after she made partner. Maybe she wouldn’t feel so pressured.

Hallie suddenly laughed without humor. Who was she kidding? She’d probably feel more pressured than ever. But then, that was her personality and she made no apologies for it. She lived in a high-maintenance mode and was structured to a fault. Behind her back, her co-workers referred to her as uptight, which didn’t bother her at all. She did her job well and with confidence. No apologies were in order.

Closing the shutters, Hallie made her way into her bedroom and immediately began to discard her clothing, shoes first. She felt exhausted from her bout with the Dryers and raw from her encounter with Jackson. She didn’t like surprises, and she had received two of them today.

While the Dryers were a pain in the rear, she could handle the divorcing couple. But Jackson was a different matter.

Why now? she asked herself, heading to the bathroom where she immediately stepped into the shower. Turning on the hot water, she anticipated that the feel of it against her skin would relax her. Instead, the water cascading down her body brought unwanted images to mind, images of her and Jackson in the shower, ending with him lifting her wet, slippery body up around his waist, then penetrating her high and hard.

Feeling herself grow wet, and not from the water, Hallie shut off the faucet, climbed out and dried herself with haste. Even after donning her robe and making herself a cup of tea, her emotions were still on high alert.

She took several deep breaths and eased onto the chaise lounge in her sitting area. Pale green and cream were the primary colors in the room. A faux technique similar to marbleizing had been used to paint the walls. A four-poster bed with a step stool added a touch of class. Pillows and potted plants provided the finishing touches. Like her living area, her bedroom was supposed to calm her, to give her a feeling of coziness, to shield her from the world.

It had. Until now.

The phone rang and she flinched. Her first thought was to not answer it, but it might be her sister, Darcy. She hadn’t heard from her in several days, which was not a good sign.

Knowing that her voice mail would soon pick up, Hallie reached for the receiver and lifted it.

“Hallie.”

She hadn’t even said hello before he said her name. Her pulse rate automatically accelerated as she clutched the receiver tighter.

“Why are you calling me at home, Jackson?”

“I take it that’s a no-no.”

“I’d rather you didn’t.”

He hesitated several beats, then said, “Okay, I’m sorry. But I couldn’t remember if I thanked you for taking my case.”

“I haven’t taken your case, exactly, but yes, you thanked me.”

Silence.

“It was good to see you, Hallie, after all this time.” His voice had grown low and husky.

She crossed her legs and tried to control her labored breathing. Would she ever get over the hots for this man? Even through the phone lines, the heat fizzed. She suspected he felt it, too. Yet she was loath to end the conversation.

“It was good to see you, too.” And it was, though she was loath to admit that, too.

“I know I shouldn’t say this—”

“You probably shouldn’t,” she responded in a weak voice.

“If you don’t want to hear it, then you’ll have to hang up.”

She stayed on the line.

“I’ve missed you like hell.”

She had missed him, too, but that was hard to admit. She didn’t want a relationship with Jackson, personally or professionally. It was simply too dangerous to her newfound peace of mind. Actually, it would be tantamount to personal and professional suicide.

The afternoon’s civility had remained in place, but underneath was the awareness of what it was like to jump each other’s bones in a rash and heated moment. She couldn’t work under those conditions.

“Jackson, please, don’t go there. It will force me to turn you over to Nathan now or send you to another firm.” In spite of her efforts, her voice shook.

“I know.” He spoke in that same sexy and husky tone. “But I had to say it.”

“You’ve said it, so let’s move on.”

“I guess I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Good night,” she said with as much coolness as she could muster.

After she hung up the phone, Hallie’s entire body trembled with a hunger that stunned her. She hadn’t been with a man since she and Jackson had split up. For the longest time, she had missed not only the great sex between them but the companionship. When their engagement ended, it was like one of her limbs had been severed.

But time and work had smothered those longings and she’d manage to regroup and go on.

If it hadn’t been for Roberta Klein’s death, her state of mind and body would still be intact. Thoughts of the deceased woman raised her pulse rate again, but for a different reason.

While she hadn’t wished Jackson’s old friend any ill will, Roberta had been one of the reasons why Hallie hadn’t married Jackson. It was only after they had become engaged that she realized how close Roberta and Jackson were. Roberta popped in and out of his life whenever she felt like it, and he seemed to find nothing amiss.

He’d even admitted to having slept with Roberta, but only once. After that admission, Hallie had told him the situation with Roberta was something she’d rather not have to deal with. Jackson had assured her he would handle it.

Weeks later, she had received a surprise visit from Roberta herself. More curious than anything, Hallie had invited her in, preparing herself to be as cordial as possible.