Then common sense and pride had come to her rescue. No way was she going to let him get another shot at ruining her life, not when she was beginning to mend her heart and find happiness again.
To hell with him then and to hell with him now.
“Grrrh!” she muttered, gritting her teeth, determined to corral her runaway thoughts. No such luck. Her mind had homed in on the past and wouldn’t let go.
Noah had appeared at her door that fateful day just as he had a million times before. They had committed themselves to a hamburger cookout given by another doctor and his family. Neither had wanted to go but felt they had to. So when Noah arrived, she had been dressed and waiting.
The instant she had opened the door and looked at his face, she’d known something was wrong. Another dead giveaway was that he hadn’t jerked her into his arms and kissed her, hot and hungrily as was his habit when he hadn’t seen her for several days. At that particular time, he’d just returned from a surgical seminar.
“What’s the matter?” she had asked without preamble.
He pushed past her, walked to the center of the room, then whipped around, his features contorted. Her heart skipped a beat. Even after he’d lost a patient, she had never seen that tormented expression on his chiseled features. Her heart skipped several more beats.
“Noah,” she said in a breathless tone.
“I don’t know how to say this.”
“Say what?”
Silence.
“For heaven’s sake, you can tell me anything.” Somehow the words managed to get past her dry lips.
“I can’t marry you.”
At first, she merely blinked, followed by a shake of her head as if she hadn’t heard him right. “What did you say?”
“Our wedding’s off.” His voice was so strained and low that she could barely understand him.
Still, she staggered back as though he’d slapped her. “You can’t be serious.”
“Oh, I’m serious, all right. Dead serious.”
“But why? I mean—” Amanda couldn’t go on. The words dried up in her throat.
“Trust me, you don’t want to know. In fact, you’re better off without knowing. More than that, you’re damn sure better off without me.”
“Why, this is the craziest thing I’ve ever heard, Noah. You’re not making any sense. We’re supposed to be getting married in three months.”
“Again, that’s not going to happen.”
“Damn you! If you’re walking out on me, don’t you think you at least owe me an explanation?”
“Just consider yourself lucky. I’m doing you the biggest favor of your life.”
She closed the distance between them and grabbed his arm. “I don’t know what’s going on or what’s happening. But one thing I do know is that you love me.”
He groaned. “Don’t, Amanda.”
“Don’t?” She heard her voice rise to a hysterical level, but she couldn’t stop it any more than she could stop her heart from dying inside her. “Is that all you have to say?”
“Yes,” Noah said again, shifting his gaze while holding himself stiff and untouchable.
“Fine. I’ll accept this cock-and-bull explanation, if you can look me in the eye and tell me you’ve stopped loving me.”
For a moment, he didn’t say anything, which rejuvenated her heart. “See, I knew—”
“I don’t love you anymore.”
The soft but emphatically spoken words fell into the room with the force of an exploding bomb. She wanted to scream; she wanted to attack him physically; she wanted to hide from the pain he was inflicting.
She did nothing. Instead, she stepped back and stared at him like he was the scum of the earth, which was exactly how she thought of him. Who the hell did he think he was to walk into her house out of the blue and calmly tell her he wasn’t going to marry her, that he no longer loved her?
A first-class bastard who didn’t deserve her.
Amanda jutted her chin and fought back the tears. She would rather have died than let him know how deeply his unexpected attack had wounded her. “All right, have it your way.”
“Amanda—”
“No! Don’t say another word.” She pulled off her ring and threw it at his feet. It bounced off one booted foot and landed on the carpet.
He didn’t move.
“Pick it up, damn you, and get out! I never want to see you again.”
Without taking his blue eyes off her, he leaned over, scooped up the ring, straightened, then headed toward the door. Only after he closed it behind him, did it hit her what had actually happened.
In the blink of an eye, her life had changed. Noah was no longer a part of it. She had sunk to floor and cried until she had no more tears to cry.
To this day, she still had no idea why he had walked out on her. The following morning at work, she had learned that he’d taken a one-year personal leave of absence from his duties as staff surgeon.
Somehow, with the help of close friends, she had managed to keep on living and functioning, despite the devastation done by Noah’s betrayal.
Then he had come back. A few months earlier than expected.
“Why, you bastard?” she whispered, digging her nails into her palms. “Why did you even come back?”
Chapter Four
Amanda felt the jiggle at her side. Her smart phone was going berserk. She should have known the short respite was too good to be true.
ER was calling, but that was good. She needed to work. A few minutes later she was striding through the automatic double doors.
“Trauma one, Doctor!” an attendant called out.
Harold Epps. Something had obviously gone wrong. Upping her pace, Amanda dashed into the room. Dr. Sloane and a male nurse were holding the man down on the bed; he was in the throes of a violent convulsion.
“What happened?” Amanda demanded in a controlled but firm voice. She then stepped up to the gurney.