A Cowboy In Her Arms

Callie didn’t know what to say. She had always loved Polly like the aunt she never had. Polly was Sarah’s mom’s older sister, but she might as well have been Callie’s mom’s sister, as well. She had treated Callie and Sarah as equals.

When she and Sarah were young, they’d spend most of their summers on Polly’s ranch. The Snake River ran right through Polly’s land, and the beauty of it was never lost on Callie and Sarah. Most of those long summer days were spent playing in or around the river, sometimes fishing with Polly’s husband, Daniel. Callie had acquired a love of fishing from Daniel, and even now, when she felt stressed or anxious, a few hours of catch and release acted like a balm on her raw nerves.

But all those good memories happened a long time ago, Callie reminded herself. A lot had changed since then, changes that hurt even more now that she’d met Emma.

“Sure, but can I take a rain check on that invitation? I have some work I have to do in the next few days. My new job requires a lot of prep time.”

“Whenever you’re ready, sweetheart. No rush. Besides, like I said, the place needs more time. You might be disappointed if you stopped by before we brought the Double S back to its former glory.”

Emma leaned in on her dad’s shoulder, still playing with her hair. Joel held her tight against his chest, then he ran a hand over her hair and lovingly kissed his daughter on the top of her head.

Callie couldn’t help feeling a mixture of jealousy and profound sorrow as she watched Joel and Emma together. There was a time in her life when she had wanted nothing more than to have Joel’s baby, to be his wife, to raise their children together.

But her best friend had stolen her dream and made it come true for herself instead.

Callie still wanted a houseful of children, more than ever, but she also knew falling in love with the right man, a man who would love her back with the same commitment, was the single most important aspect of a solid relationship and a loving environment to raise those children.

Now, standing this close to Sarah’s child and seeing how much that child looked exactly like her mom only made Callie’s hurt deepen. Emma should have been her child, not Sarah’s.

“Okay, then let’s wait. You’re living here now, so we have all the time in the world,” Callie told her.

“Can we go home now, Daddy?” Callie detected a whine in Emma’s voice.

“Sure, baby,” Joel cooed.

The child not only looked like her mom, but she seemed to be just as strong-willed.

“We’ll see you soon, Callie,” Joel told her, then turned and walked away. Polly gave her another quick hug and joined them.

As Callie watched them disappear into the dark night, she knew she had no intention of ever stepping one foot on the Double S Ranch, and she certainly had no intention of ever breaking bread with Joel Darwood, the man she had once loved with all her heart.

* * *

JOEL SLIPPED A sleeping Emma into her car seat, made sure Polly was comfortable in the passenger seat and drove his red SUV out of the fairgrounds heading toward home. A full moon led the way on the dark, empty back roads.

“It was nice seeing Callaghan again. Actually it was nice seeing everyone again. I had a great day, and from the looks of it, so did Emma. How about you, Joel?”

Joel knew enough about Polly to recognize when she was fishing for information. They hadn’t talked much about his life with Sarah, although he was sure she understood more about it than he’d like her to. He didn’t think she knew that he and Callaghan—or Callie... He wasn’t sure if he could ever get used to calling her that—had ever dated. Sarah had never been a very forthcoming kind of person. Heck, for the five years they were married he doubted he knew much about her past. It was a revelation to him that she and Callie had spent so much time together during the summer, and even Callie hadn’t told him the details of those visits.

For one thing, he’d thought Sarah only visited for a couple weeks during the summers, but from what Callie had just said, it sounded as if Sarah had spent entire summers with her aunt.

He knew Sarah had grown up as the proverbial latchkey kid. Her mom was always too busy working or out on a date to give her child much attention. She’d had more boyfriends than Sarah could name. None of them were Sarah’s dad.

Unfortunately for Sarah, her dad had never been in the picture.

“It wasn’t what I’d expected, that’s for sure.”

“And what was that?”

Joel didn’t know how candid he should be with Polly. “For one thing, I didn’t expect to see Callaghan in the parade. By the way, she likes to be called Callie now.”

“Callie it is. I sensed there was something more between you and Callie than just a friendship, if there ever was a friendship. She seemed a little guarded, but that could just be because she was reacting to the news about Sarah. Funny, but I thought everyone would have known by now. That was well over six months ago.”

“Apparently the town must be isolated from that kind of news. Plus, don’t forget you and Sarah haven’t been a part of this town for several years.”

“Still, Callie appeared distant, as if she was holding something back...which didn’t seem to be the case when she was talking to you. I couldn’t make out what she was saying, but she didn’t look too happy.”

Joel didn’t know if now was the time to tell her about their sordid past, but he was trying to be a more honest man, so this seemed like as good a time as any.

“Polly, there’s something you should know about Callie and me.”

“What’s that?” She turned to look at him, and when he glanced her way he couldn’t tell if what he was about to say would hurt her or put a strain on their relationship. He didn’t want to do either one, but she deserved the truth, at least as much as she needed to know.

He relaxed his tense shoulders. “Callie and I were dating before Sarah and I got together.”

Polly didn’t respond for what seemed like forever. His stomach lurched as he waited for her response. He tried to concentrate on his driving along the unfamiliar route, hoping Polly would say something to break the horrible silence.

“Did you love Callie?”

He’d had a passion for Callie, a passion that almost consumed him. He couldn’t seem to get enough of her, and felt his absolute best when he was in her arms. She made him feel as though he could do anything, conquer anything and be anything he put his mind to.

But had he loved her?

He couldn’t have, or when Callie told him what she saw for their future, he wouldn’t have run to Sarah. All he’d wanted was some sound advice from Callie’s best friend. He never expected it to go any further than that, and when it did, he just let it happen.

Joel hadn’t been capable of loving anyone back then, and even now, love still seemed elusive. Oh, sure, he loved Emma, probably more in the last six months than ever before in her life, but true romantic love, the kind that Polly still felt for her late husband, Daniel... He didn’t know if he could ever feel that sort of deep, powerful love for anyone.

“I couldn’t love anybody back then, not even myself.”

“But you dated her.”

“Yes, for almost two years.”

“Did you love Sarah?”

The road before him seemed endless, as if it could go on into infinity. As if he knew he couldn’t get out of the car until he told Polly the truth.

“She was the mother of my child.”

He kept his eyes on the road, a tight grip on the wheel, looking for his turnoff...hoping for his turnoff.

“You didn’t answer my question. And believe me, Joel, I won’t be offended by your answer as long as you tell me the truth. I don’t abide liars of any kind...at least not on the big stuff. Did you love Sarah?”

He took in a sharp snap of air. “I did not.”

“Ever?”

“No.”