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Wife 22
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Suddenly the front door is flung open and Peter yells, “I call the bathroom first.”
He has a thing about not using the bathroom at school, so he holds it all day. I close my laptop. This is also my favorite time of the day—when the empty house fills back up again and within an hour all of my de-cluttering is for naught. For some reason this gives me pleasure. The satisfying inevitability of it all.
Zoe walks into the kitchen and makes a face. “Tuna casserole?”
“It’ll be ready in fifteen minutes.”
“I already ate.”
“At volleyball practice?”
“Karen’s mother stopped on the way home and got us burritos.”
“So Peter’s eaten, too?”
Zoe nods and opens the fridge.
I sigh. “What are you looking for? I thought you just ate.”
“I don’t know. Nothing,” she says, closing the door.
“Dang! What did you do to your hair?” asks Peter, walking into the kitchen.
“Oh, God, I forgot. One of my kids was playing hairdresser. I thought it was kind of Audrey Hepburnesque. No?”
“No,” says Zoe.
“No,” echoes Peter.
I slide the elastic out of my hair and try and smooth it out.
“Maybe if you combed it once in a while,” says Zoe.
“Why is everybody so comb crazy? For your information, there are certain types of hair that should never be combed. You should just let it dry naturally.”
“Uh-huh,” says Zoe, grabbing her backpack. “I’ve got a ton of homework. See you in 2021.”
“Half an hour of Modern Warfare before homework?” asks Peter.
“Ten minutes,” I say.
“Twenty.”
“Fifteen.”
Peter throws his arms around me. Even though he’s twelve, I still occasionally get hugs. A few minutes later, the sounds of guns and bombs issue forth from the living room.
My phone chirps. It’s a text from William.
Sorry.
Client dinner.
See u 10ish.
I open my laptop, quickly reread my answers, and hit Send.
7
From: researcher101 <researcher101@netherfieldcenter.org>
Subject: #13
Date: May 5, 8:05 AM
To: Wife 22 <Wife22@netherfieldcenter.org>
Dear Wife 22,
Thanks for your first set of answers and for getting them back to me so quickly. I have one question. In regards to #13, did you mean to write “children,” not “chicken”?
Regards,
Researcher 101
From: Wife 22 <Wife22@netherfieldcenter.org>
Subject: Re: #13
Date: May 5, 10:15 AM
To: researcher101 <researcher101@netherfieldcenter.org>
Dear Researcher 101,
I’m sorry about that. I suspect my chickens, I mean children, are to blame. Or more likely auto correct.
Best,
Wife 22
P.S. Is there any significance to our numbers or are they just randomly assigned? I can’t believe I’m only the 22nd wife to participate in the survey.
From: researcher101 <researcher101@netherfieldcenter.org>
Subject: Re: #13
Date: May 6, 11:23 AM
