Wife 22

Researcher 101,

I’m not sure they’ve improved, but at least I’ve cut down the time I spend in the grocery store trying to choose between Minute Maid or Tropicana. Now I just grab the SunnyD. And no, I am not capable of experiencing the present with the same sort of attention to detail. But once the present becomes the past I seem to have no problem attending to it obsessively. :)

Wife 22

From: researcher101 <researcher101@netherfieldcenter.org>

Subject: Re: Hello

Date: May 20, 11:57 AM

To: Wife 22 <Wife22@netherfieldcenter.org>

Wife 22,

What ever happened to Tang?

Researcher 101

From: Wife 22 <Wife22@netherfieldcenter.org>

Subject: Re: Hello

Date: May 20, 12:01 PM

To: researcher101 <researcher101@netherfieldcenter.org>

Researcher 101,

You know, I can’t help playing “what if” right now. What if I had been a biker, not a runner? What if William had married Helen of Troy instead of me?

Sincerely,

Wife 22

From: researcher101 <researcher101@netherfieldcenter.org>

Subject: Re: Hello

Date: May 21, 1:42 PM

To: Wife 22 <Wife22@netherfieldcenter.org>

Wife 22,

In my experience “what if” is a very dangerous game.

All the best,

Researcher 101

23

I’m sitting on a bench, my phone in my hand, while a hundred or so children run circles around me. I’m on recess duty. Some of the teachers hate recess duty, they say it’s exhausting and mind-numbingly tedious, but I don’t mind it. I’m excellent at scanning the sea of kids, reading their body language, listening to the pitch of their voices, and getting to them moments before the illegal hair-pulling, Pokémon card trading, or Hello Kitty glitter lip gloss application begins. This kind of intuition can be either a gift or a curse, but I like to think of it as a gift. Recess duty is like driving. The surface is hyper-alert, leaving the rest of me free to process what’s going on in my life.

I took Nedra’s advice and never told William that I went behind his back and spoke to Kelly Cho. That makes two secrets I’m keeping from him now—the marriage study and my viewing the Cialis focus group tape. I did get a little hysterical while sharing my budget spreadsheets with him and said something along the lines of youhavetotryharder. He says he’s investigating openings at other ad agencies in the city, but I’m afraid it’s futile. Things are bad everywhere. Shops are closing and ad budgets are shrinking or disappearing altogether. He has to make it work at KKM. As far as the Cialis focus group, I’ve decided I will never go to another KKM product launch again.

And my job? I’m lucky to have one. When the school year ends, I’m going to approach the Parents’ Association about the possibility of making my job full-time in the fall. If that doesn’t happen, I’ll have to look for a higher-paying job. I need to bring in more income.

The bell rings and the kids start running back into the building. I open my Facebook app quickly.

Shonda Perkins

Alice Buckle

Definition of friend: Somebody you’ve actually had a meal with in the last year.

43 minutes ago

John F. Kennedy Middle School

Suggests you limit your child’s screen time to one hour per day, this includes texting, tweeting and Facebooking. This does not include conducting online research for classes.

55 minutes ago

Weight Watchers

Come back! We miss you!

3 hours ago

William Buckleadded Tone Loc and Mahler to favorite music

4 hours ago

William Buckleadded Deer Hunter, Dr. Strangelove or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb, and Field of Dreams to favorite movies

4 hours ago

Tone Loc? “Funky Cold Medina” Tone Loc? And William’s favorite movie is FieldofDreams? We are decidedly not in a field of dreams. A field of thorns, maybe. William was demoted for telling his entire company how many times a month we have sex, and I’m sneaking around behind my husband’s back, telling a total stranger about how he once touched my boob with his elbow. Like my namesake Alice, I’ve slipped down the rabbit hole, fall, falling, fell.

24

33. If it’s a subject that interests him.

34. I was sleeping with a guy named Eddie. I met him at the gym where I swam laps. Eddie was a trainer in the weight room. He was sweet and uncomplicated. He had these red cheeks and perfect teeth. He wasn’t my type, but his body—oh, my God. Our relationship was purely physical and the sex was amazing, but I knew it would never go anywhere further than that. Of course I hadn’t told him this yet.

“Hey, Al, Allie!”