Bad Reputation

The blonde frowned. “Seriously? That’s who you’re looking for? Why?”

The brunette was back at the door, scrutinizing my appearance. I looked down at my white T-shirt and sports shorts. Judging from the brunette’s face, my clothes definitely fell short of whatever her expectations were. It wasn’t my finest look, but I didn’t think it was that bad.

“I doubt you’re her type,” she told me. “She’s probably into guys who hug trees and wear hemp pants.”

“So you know her well?” I asked.

“No,” both the girls said at once.

“I don’t think she even talks to anyone else in the dorm,” the blonde informed me.

“Unless she’s crusading for a cause,” the brunette added.

My shoulders dropped. The blonde put her hand on my arm sympathetically, and her roommate quickly swatted it away with a warning glare before she slammed the door shut.

This is a hint. I turned to walk away. It’s the universe’s way of reminding you that you’re not right for a girl like that.

* * *

As I made my way out of the dorm, my spirits dipped even lower. For the first time in ages, I had actually felt motivated to do something for myself rather than for my dad’s prearranged schedule.

Something besides throwing a Joey pity party, you mean.

For once, I hadn’t been focused on the past and all the pain that I associated with my memories. Not being able to accomplish the goal—not finding out who the redhead was—brought the sick feeling back with a vengeance.

On most of my days off, I spent the morning thinking of how everything had started on the sixth. I woke up with the familiar guilt and dread in my chest. It hung on for the day, and I saw her face in my mind. Then my own voice, hurling angry accusations at her. I pictured her, not ever denying what I said, grabbing her scarf and hat and storming out of the house. Even if I could brush those things off, I would remember the sound of the sirens, and the smell of lilies, and the sight of the pale faces.

Sometimes the day would go better than others. I might reach the point of emotional hangover by noon, if I could get through the rest of the day unscathed.

I had a feeling today was going to a bad one, though. I thought it might even carry over to Saturday. I doubted I could force my way through, drinks or no drinks, girls or no girls.

Redhead or no redhead, I added before I could stop myself.

As I arrived at the parking lot and scanned it for my truck, my cell phone chimed. I glanced at the number on the call display and sighed. I let it go to voice mail. I reached my truck and my phone went off again. I ignored it a second time, choosing to climb into my vehicle instead. I sat down with a crunch. A large, yellow envelope was sitting on the driver’s side seat. I yanked it out from underneath me and glared at the logo on the corner. My phone rang a third time. I pounded the answer button irritably.

“Hi, Dad,” I greeted cheerfully through my gritted teeth. “I got the package you left in my truck.”

“Cut the act, son,” he said. “I need you to be somewhere today.”

“It’s the sixth.”

“So?”

“So we have a deal. And this weekend is—”

“Open that envelope.”

“Dad—”

“Now.”

I tore the yellow paper open, feeling a petty bit of satisfaction when the whole envelope split. I scanned the contents.

“This looks like a City ordinance request,” I said.

“It is.”

“What do you want me to do with it?”

“I want you to go to that meeting.”

I glanced at the paperwork again. “It’s today. It’s ten minutes from now.”

“So you’d better hurry.”

“This says the meeting is a private one between the City and the applicant.”

“It is.” My dad paused, then sighed loudly before he continued. “But this request threatens a potentially important project for our company. I want to know what we’re up against. I want to know who we’re up against.”

“Is it even legal for me to be there?” I wanted to know.

“You’re signed on as an observer from the school paper,” he replied.

“Seriously? You think they’re going buy that?”

He ignored me. “This is as important for you as it is for me.”

“I somehow doubt that,” I muttered.

“Joey…one day my company will belong to you.”

I don’t want it. I’ve never wanted it. Even before—I cut myself off midthought. I knew what he was expecting from me, and I made an effort to live up to that. It helped me stay focused, to keep from perpetually laying the blame at my own feet.

But why did it have to be today?

“I haven’t let you down once since I signed that contract. I close more deals than anyone else on your team,” I replied. “But you know why I need this day off, Dad.”

He tried a more sympathetic tactic. “At some point, you have to get past this.”

“I don’t know if I can.”

“This has been hard on all of us,” he said.

“It didn’t happen because of you,” I growled. “It happened because of me.”

“It happened because of that woman,” he corrected. “And today, they don’t need you. But I need do. There’s a suit in your backseat. Get dressed and get there. Please.”

He hung up, and I gritted my teeth again, turned the key in the ignition and drove at full speed to City Hall.