Keep You Safe: A tear-jerking and compelling story that will make you think from the international multi-million bestselling author

‘I really don’t know the family all that well…’ I answered. My head felt foggy.

‘No idea if it’s a political position? Something religious perhaps?’

She seemed to be just making idle conversation, but something about her tone of voice made me perk up. I tried to climb through the swamp of grey matter in my head.

‘Why do you ask? And what does it matter?’

But the nurse didn’t have time to answer my question, because at that moment Lucy entered the waiting room with Christine Campbell in tow.

Handing over my recent post as well as some other bits and pieces I needed from the house (my iPad and charger, one of Rosie’s favourite dinosaurs, a random book that had been on my bedside table), Lucy took a seat beside me. Christine sat on my other side as I introduced Frances.

‘Christine was really anxious about Rosie,’ Lucy supplied when I looked curiously at our new visitor. It was nice of Christine to come, and surprising too when I didn’t know her especially well.

But that was one of the positives about living in a small community.

‘Oh you’re all from the same town?’ Frances smiled. ‘I was just asking Kate about that other little girl with measles. Do you know her too?’ she enquired pleasantly.

I shifted uncomfortably. Given that Clara was almost certainly the cause of Rosie’s current trials, I didn’t like to think about the Coopers all that much. While I was happy that little Clara had recovered, I couldn’t deny that I felt a little… jealous too. That they were the ones with all the luck and resources, as well as having each other to lean on when things were hard. While I had nothing and no one.

Apart from Lucy of course, who had once again been wonderful. My mother had tried to make arrangements to travel up from Cork, but my dad was poorly with sciatica and, as she didn’t drive, she was relying on a lift from a generous neighbour.

Part of me was almost glad she hadn’t yet managed it. At least I could stay here at the hospital and focus all of my attention on Rosie, without having to think about hosting my mother too, who suffered from her nerves and, God help her, wasn’t the best in a crisis.

But while I was reticent to discuss the Coopers, Christine was practically jumping in her seat waiting for her turn to speak. ‘Yes, we do know the family,’ she said, her tone barely concealing her disapproval as she pushed her glasses back to the top of her nose.

‘Unusual that she wasn’t vaccinated either, isn’t it?’ Frances said conversationally. ‘Unlucky too, I suppose.’

‘Nothing at all to do with luck,’ added Christine with narrowed eyes. ‘It’s because the girl’s parents – the father in particular – are a pair of sanctimonious lunatics. Tom is one of those conspiracy theory types,’ she added bitterly.

I shot Lucy a look. I was grateful for Christine’s visit, but my daughter’s bedside wasn’t the place for gossip, or airing personal grievances.

In turn, my friend apologised with her eyes.

‘Christine, like me, the Coopers have just experienced a very scary time, except unlike me, they’ve managed to come out of it OK. Whatever the reasons for their choices, it’s their business. I’m just glad their little girl is better. That’s all that matters.’

Lucy spoke up. ‘Yes, and also Madeleine has been so concerned about Rosie. She asks about her all the time. The mother and I are friends,’ she added, for Frances’ benefit.

‘Please understand, I’m not trying to gossip,’ the nurse went on. ‘I was just wondering about their reasons, maybe there’s a good reason—’

‘Nope. Absolutely not. They knew exactly what they were doing in not vaccinating. And they took the risk anyway. Put all of our children in danger.’

‘Christine, please…’ Lucy looked mortified.

‘I see,’ the nurse murmured softly.

‘And, Kate, you know my cousin is a solicitor? Well, we were discussing the situation about the Coopers over lunch the other day… and he tells me there is a school of thought that suggests if you decide not to vaccinate your child, and another gets seriously ill like Rosie has, you could potentially be held liable.’

I shook my head; was Christine seriously suggesting that I was the one responsible for Rosie’s plight? ‘Are you saying I’m to blame for this?’ I gasped, a bit hysterically.

I looked to Lucy for help, but she wore an expression I couldn’t read. Was it confusion? Or concern? Why couldn’t I follow this conversation?

Jesus, I needed to sleep.

But Christine’s dark eyes were bright and she was shaking her head.

‘No, Kate, she’s not suggesting at all that you’re responsible,’ Frances put in. ‘But I think what your friend is suggesting is that the other parents could be. They failed to vaccinate their child. That same child contracted a preventable illness, passing it on to Rosie who’s since become very ill.’

‘What does it matter who’s responsible?’ I cried. ‘Please,’ I implored Lucy. ‘I can’t deal with this. I… I’m not able for visitors just now. My daughter needs me.’

The nurse stood up. ‘Kate is right. Perhaps this isn’t the best time…’

I felt myself start to relax just a bit, but Christine wasn’t finished. ‘But you have to think about this, Kate. I mean, I’m not trying to force your hand or talk you into anything you are uncomfortable with, I just want you to think about it. There was a deliberate choice made. You couldn’t vaccinate Rosie without risking her life. The Coopers weren’t faced with that decision – they just decided not to bother. And don’t forget Madeleine sent Clara to school that morning, knowing she was unwell. This was what my cousin found interesting. Think about it. She doesn’t protect her kids from infectious diseases and then she sends her feverish daughter to school. She deliberately put ours at risk.’

‘No,’ I said, shaking my head. ‘It was just unfortunate, just one of those things. And it’s a risk I had to take every day too knowing Rosie isn’t protected. It’s just as much my fault as anyone else’s.’

‘How can you not see it?’ Christine persisted. Lucy put a hand on her arm, trying to quieten her.

‘Because nobody does that!’ I cried, outraged at the very suggestion. ‘No parent would ever intend such a thing.’

But amidst my protests, the alternative scenario sparked a thought in me.

If Madeleine Cooper, knowing Clara was ill, hadn’t sent her daughter to school that morning, wouldn’t Rosie have avoided getting measles?

And wouldn’t my little girl now be at home making up fearsome scenarios for her dinosaurs, instead of lying in a hospital bed, fighting for breath?

Chapter 10 (#ulink_7f6a0c9c-1886-5f8b-b44d-8ae5d57bc99c)

MAD MUM MUSINGS

Parents Not Allowed

I see a woman hovering under a seven-foot play frame, arms aloft like a wedding guest waiting to catch the bridal bouquet. But then she turns and I see, not anticipation, but outright terror on her face.

‘Oh my God, she’s going to break her neck,’ she gasps, horrified. ‘Anyone know who her mother is?’

The kid apparently in such grave peril is mine – except she’s been climbing that play frame since she was four. When I tell the woman this, she stares at me, eyes wide with recrimination, and I realise that, yikes: this mama bear’s a helicopter.

A species of parent that is all too common in our favourite playground.

I love taking my six- and eight-year-old kids to the playground for many reasons: first and foremost so they can play and muck about – with other kids or by themselves – as well as learn to negotiate the world on their own terms.

They run around, laugh, climb play frames and make friends – all the usual things kids do at parks and playgrounds – while I sit on a bench at a safe distance, chat to other parents or (gasp!) idly scroll through my phone.

For my two, it’s a space that remains free from everyday restrictions (within reasonable limits). I don’t stand over them or interfere and it seems this, at least to the helicopters, makes me not just a Mad Mum but a Very Bad one, perhaps even worthy of social services intervention.

Because helicopters come to the playground to be Alert At All Times, hovering endlessly over their charges – coaxing up the ladder and down the slide, bouncing gently on the seesaw, swinging endlessly on the swing.

I know not every parent is the same, and there’s no denying that it can be hard to just let kids at it, especially if it’s your and Junior’s first time in the place, and you see everyone else hand-holding. And if you don’t, it immediately makes you look like you don’t give a shit.