Sahm I Am

Listen, I have to go—Grace is being every inch the “terrible two” that she is, and I have to nurse Luke. I can’t believe he’s already a month old—it goes so fast!

With love,

Becky

P.S. Did you know Mom is actually DATING somebody? His name is Morris Hash, and he lives in Branson, and works with Mom at Shoji. I guess it’s been going on for a couple of months now. I’m glad for her—it wasn’t easy for her to be alone all those years. I just hope this Hash guy treats her better than Dad did. She’s bringing him to visit us in a week, so I’ll make sure to tell you what I think after I meet him.

Hi Dulcie,

Thanks for your e-mail—don’t worry about it. Darren is wonderful, but we have our problems, too. In fact, I was planning to write to you about something. I was reading the Loop archives and I noticed you mentioned you were adopted from Guatemala. I was hoping you wouldn’t mind sharing with me about that experience.

When I mentioned my 7-year-old daughter, Madeline, I left out that she’s the result of a very stupid choice I made as a 16-year-old, but one of the best blessings in my life. At first, I thought about giving her up for adoption, but my parents said they would help me raise her until I finished high school. After that, we were on our own. I worked part-time and took courses at the community college in Bartlesville. That’s where I met Darren. He was taking business classes to run the family farm with his dad. He didn’t mind that I had a daughter, and we got married three years ago. Now we live on the farm in a little house near his parents’ big house.

The problem is, we’ve been trying to get pregnant for two years, with no luck. Darren is afraid it might be his fault because obviously I’ve been pregnant already. But I wonder if maybe something happened to me because I was young when I had Madeline. Either way, we can’t afford infertility treatments, and I’m not sure we want to. I was interested in international adoption, but I don’t know anything about it. I haven’t been brave enough to bring it up with Darren. Not sure how he would react to it.

If you don’t want to talk about your adoption, I understand. I’m not trying to be nosy.

Friends,

Brenna

Becky,

You probably won’t believe I’m saying this, but thank you for the advice. You’re likely right. From now on, I’ll be more involved, try to meet her needs, be a better support for her and the girls. I want to show her that I understand how hard it is for them when I’m gone and make sure she knows how much I need her. This better work. I love her and the girls with all my heart, and I really do miss them.

Thanks, sis!

Tom

Boy howdy, Frank said the funniest thing to Mama and Daddy today! They arrived last night for a visit, and Frank got to teasing them this morning. “Mama, Papa Stewart,” he says, “we are honored to have you visit our home. It is a pleasure to see you again so soon after the wedding. But my Nica and I, we are newlyweds, and need time to wrap ourselves in our private world of love. Why do you not visit your other daughter—Rosalyn?” Then he dipped me for a theatrical kiss.

Daddy laughed and slapped Frank on the back. “You’ve never met Ros, have you?”

No joke! But there ya go. Now isn’t that TOO funny? :)

Veronica

Tactful Talkers,

I have noticed that there are some people in this world who cannot help but stick their feet in their mouths on occasion. Whether it is the store clerk who mutters inappropriate things within our children’s keen hearing, or the well-meaning friend or relation who unwittingly insults us, many individuals simply lack tact. This week, I’d like us to discuss how we can respond to such unexpected attacks and how we can teach our children to keep a guard on their tongues.

I always find it useful to return good for evil. I like to respond with a “I’m sure you didn’t mean that to come out in such a nasty, spiteful way, so even though I ought to be livid at your rudeness and insensitivity, I choose to forgive you and extend to you mercy—which, as we all know, means showing compassion and kindness to someone who is in no way deserving of it.”

I also make a point to never be guilty of the same offense myself. After all, Proverbs 16:24 says, “Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.”

Sweetly,

Rosalyn Ebberly,

SAHM I Am Loop Moderator

“She looks well to the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness.”

Proverbs 31:27 (NASB)

Dearest Ronnie,

You might want to be careful about how your little stories come across. I knew what you meant, but someone who didn’t know you might have thought you were being unkind. Since you don’t read the Bible, you won’t be familiar with this verse, but I always find it helpful to keep in mind. Consider it a friendly bit of advice from your loving big sister:

“As a ring of gold in a swine’s snout, so is a beautiful woman who lacks discretion.” Proverbs 11:22.

Lovingly,

Rosalyn

“She looks well to the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness.”

Proverbs 31:27 (NASB)

Dear Brenna,

Anyone who knows me knows I’m very open about my adoption. I’ll be glad to answer whatever questions I can for you, but my parents’ experience of twenty-three years ago is bound to be much different than the process today. I know it’s still pretty expensive, though.

One thing that doesn’t change is the ignorance of some people. Shortly after my parents brought me home, a couple stopped them at church. “Are you going to tell her she’s adopted?” the wife asked my mom.

Mom tells me she looked down at my chocolate-brown eyes and wavy, dark hair and swallowed her smile. “I don’t know. Lawrence and I are blond and blue-eyed—do you think she’ll notice?”

According to the story, the lady blushed like a bouquet of roses. “Oh! I guess so!”

My dad couldn’t resist adding, “Well, Maureen, maybe we won’t have to tell Dulcie she’s adopted after all. I mean, if no one else can see the difference…”

My folks had a good laugh about it later—but that’s only one of our family’s “stupid comments about adoption” stories. I’ll have to tell you more sometime.

Z e-mailed me that you’re chatting with us tonight! I’ll talk to you then.

Hugs,

Dulcie

Dulcie,

Chatting with you all last night was fun. Thanks for including me. And thanks for being willing to talk about adoption, too. We could have a great time swapping “stupid comments” stories because there is an entire set for infertility also. My favorite is “Well, I get pregnant if my husband just looks at me.” I’m always like, “Really? What happens to the other women he looks at?”

I know, I know—as a Christian, I shouldn’t return rudeness for rudeness. But if they only knew how much their words hurt!

Brenna

Hi Brenna,