She stared back at him, not really knowing what to say. ‘You know what’s happening, Ryan.’
She knew as well as he did that that was no kind of answer. But it was the only one she had.
*
‘Well, if it isn’t Superwoman herself.’
‘Don’t you start,’ Amber sighed, throwing her bag down onto the couch in the Players’ Lounge before going over to quickly kiss Ronnie’s cheek.
‘Trouble in paradise?’ Ronnie grinned, leaning back against the wall and folding his arms.
Amber threw him a look out of the corner of her eye but said nothing in reply.
‘Everything’s okay, though, isn’t it?’ Ronnie asked, dropping the flippancy.
‘Everything’s fine, thank you. I’m just really busy.’
‘Yeah, I’m aware of that, Amber. I work with you.’
She sat down, pushing her hands through her long, tousled hair. ‘It’s been good, you know? Having him around. And since we found out I was having Rico he’s changed, he really has.’
‘I take it we’re talking about Ryan?’
She nodded, fiddling with the bracelet hanging on her left wrist.
‘Am I waiting for a “but” here?’ Ronnie asked, narrowing his eyes slightly.
Amber sat back, letting out a small sigh. ‘No. Things just feel a bit weird, that’s all.’
‘Weird?’ Ronnie frowned.
‘I’m still getting used to being a mum, Ronnie. Something I never thought I’d be. I’m a mum. And every day I worry about whether I’m doing it right and if Rico’s okay and… it’s hard, sometimes. Especially when Ryan’s going on at me constantly.’
‘About what?’
‘Sex.’
‘Okay.’
She looked up at him. ‘It’s not that I don’t want it, Ronnie… Are you uncomfortable talking about this?’
He shook his head. ‘Too tired, huh?’
‘You could say that.’
‘You sure that’s not just an excuse?’
It was her turn to narrow her eyes as she looked at her best friend. ‘What’s that supposed to mean?’
Ronnie looked down at the ground, his hands in his pockets. ‘I don’t know, Amber. It’s just that, sometimes, I wonder whether you going back to Ryan… I wonder whether it was the right thing to do.’
‘He’s Rico’s dad, Ronnie.’
‘That doesn’t mean you actually have to be with him. Not if you don’t want to be.’
‘Who said I don’t want to be with him?’
‘Well, that’s the impression you’re giving off here, kiddo.’
‘Is it?’
‘Yeah.’
Amber sat forward, pushing her hands through her hair again. ‘I never said we were love’s young dream or anything.’
‘No. I know you didn’t.’
‘But, I needed him, you know? I was pregnant, going through a divorce,’ She trailed off, absent-mindedly looking at her naked left hand. She still couldn’t get used to not wearing her rings. Even though they’d only really been there for the shortest of times.
‘And now Rico’s here?’
‘Hmm? Sorry?’ She looked back at Ronnie.
‘Now that Rico’s here, do you still need him? Ryan, I mean.’
‘Of course I do.’
‘You paused for a second there.’
‘I didn’t.’
‘You did.’
‘Jesus. I’d forgotten how irritating you could be.’
‘He’s here, you know.’
She sighed again, throwing herself back against the couch. ‘Who?’ As if she didn’t know.
‘Manager of the Month, two months running.’
She eyed Ronnie with a look of something verging on suspicion. ‘Shouldn’t we be doing something other than sitting here?’
‘Probably. But I quite like watching you squirm.’
‘You’re such a bastard.’
He smiled, walking over to her and holding out his hand, pulling her up off the couch. ‘You need to sort out what you really want, Amber.’