Diamonds Are Forever

Savannah glared at her phone, clicked out of the text, tossed it onto her bed.

“Wow,” Peyton said. “Whoever that was must have really pissed you off.”

“It was Evie,” Savannah said. “She wants to hang out.”

“But you’re still mad at her?”

Savannah thought back to the last time she’d spoken to Evie—the night of her Sweet Sixteen. Evie had known that Savannah had feelings for Damien, but she’d tried to flirt with him, anyway. After Savannah caught her, Evie had blown up. She’d called Savannah a selfish brat, and said that Savannah’s YouTube channel was stupid because she only sang covers and no original songs. Then she’d tried to claim that her making moves on Damien was good for Savannah, because it would prove to Savannah whether or not Damien was worth it. It was so convoluted.

At least Damien hadn’t fallen for it—he’d only been talking to Evie because he felt bad for her, because Evie had felt out of place at the party.

“I’m still mad at her,” Savannah said. “I don’t want to see her.”

“What about everything Aunt Sophie said?” Peyton asked. “About forgiveness?”

“That was different,” she said. “You and Courtney are my sisters—we have to forgive each other. I don’t need to be friends with Evie.”

“It’s your call,” Peyton said. “I’m just surprised.”

Savannah frowned and glanced at her phone. If Peyton was telling her to forgive Evie, maybe she should? But then she reminded herself about the mean things Evie had said at the party, and the way she’d tried snuggling into Damien, and anger surged through her body.

“You lost touch with your friends from Fairfield,” Savannah said. “Why shouldn’t I do the same?”

“Because those ‘friends’ I had in Fairfield were never really my friends,” Peyton said. “They were just people to hang out with and party with. But you and Evie were best friends. I always thought that you would have preferred to have her as a sister over me or Courtney.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Savannah said. “I would never choose to have anyone as a sister besides you and Courtney.”

“But you did always have more fun with her than you did with either of us,” Peyton said. “And don’t say it’s not true, because I’ll know you’re lying.”

Savannah shrugged, since she did have a lot of fun hanging out with Evie. They could talk and laugh about everything. It wasn’t that she didn’t have fun with her sisters, but it was different. Courtney was so responsible, and Peyton was so confident. Savannah always felt like everything she said was up for judgment or a lecture. But with Evie, she didn’t have to worry about that.

Her phone buzzed with another text.

Or be a bitch and ignore me. Whatever.

It hadn’t been ten minutes since the first message. Evie couldn’t know that Savannah had seen it.

Except that Savannah had her phone on her constantly, and Evie knew that.

But did she have to be so mean about it?

“I don’t want to talk about Evie.” Savannah deleted their entire string of text messages and threw her phone back down onto the bed. “We’re not friends anymore.”

“Okay,” Peyton said, although she didn’t sound like she believed it.

chapter 6:

(#u01493745-e5ac-55e2-aa17-888f46495271)

That night, Courtney had stayed true to her word to be civil to everyone, and they’d all marathon watched a television show—minus Aunt Sophie, who’d fallen asleep in the reclining chair. Courtney was the first to wake up the next morning, and when she checked her phone, there was a text message from Brett. She smiled when she saw that he’d sent it exactly at midnight.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! Can’t wait for you to get back home so we can celebrate. Wish I was there with you, but I hope you’re having a good time in California, and remember to call me if you need anything... I miss you!

She texted him back immediately, even though he was probably still asleep.

I miss you and wish you were here, too. So much. I’ll see you first thing when I get home <3

She slid out of bed, making sure not to disturb Peyton and Savannah, grabbed her Kindle and tiptoed upstairs to the kitchen. The birds chirped outside, and she brewed some chai tea in the Keurig, glad to have time to herself. Despite her insistence that no one should make a big deal about her birthday, no one ever listened. There was always so much pressure to have the perfect happy day.

Well, Mom was usually a wreck on her birthday—which made sense now, since she was grieving for Britney—but Peyton and Savannah tried to make the day all about her. Courtney hated it. Her perfect day would consist of doing nothing but reading an incredible book.

She’d situated herself on the couch, Kindle in hand, and was blowing on her tea when Aunt Sophie emerged from her room. Courtney would never get used to seeing how sick Aunt Sophie looked, especially since she was Grandma’s twin. Her wrinkled skin, sagging circles under her eyes and the wool hat she wore to hide her lack of hair made her look at least fifteen years older.

“I heard someone walking around, and given the time, I thought it might be you,” Aunt Sophie said, settling into her favorite recliner. “Happy birthday. Is that chai tea I smell?”

“Yes,” Courtney said. “This one’s nearly cooled off enough to drink, and I haven’t had any yet. If you want it, I can brew myself another.”

“That would be lovely,” she said. “Thank you.”

Courtney handed the tea over, afraid Aunt Sophie’s hands were shaking so much that she might drop it. Once she saw that she wouldn’t, she went into the kitchen to get another cup. The Keurig had it ready in less than a minute, and she brought it back into the living room.

“I’m glad I was able to help you and your sisters work through your argument yesterday,” Aunt Sophie said, sipping on her tea. “You’ve had quite a few changes to adjust to in the past few months, haven’t you?”

“My entire life has changed,” Courtney said. “I’ve been trying to make the best of it, but recently I feel like I don’t know who I am anymore.” Realizing how intense that sounded, she tried to smile and shrug it off. But it was too late. The words hung in the air, waiting for an explanation.

“And you truly don’t see yourself forgiving your mom and grandma?”

Courtney took a deep breath and stared into her tea. “I don’t want to still be mad at them,” she said. “But right now, I don’t know how not to be. Especially today, when I should be celebrating my seventeenth birthday with Britney. I should have been remembering her every year at this time. But because Grandma and Mom lied to me, I didn’t even know she existed until a few weeks ago.”

“Your grandma and mom were wrong not to tell you about her,” Aunt Sophie said. “I told them for years that they needed to, but they never listened.”

“Thank you,” she said. “That means a lot.”

“But they did what they did because of love,” Aunt Sophie said, her voice stronger than Courtney had heard so far. “They thought that by not telling you about Britney, it would spare you from wondering what life would have been like if she’d lived. It’s a pain your grandma and mom have experienced every day.”

“But Britney was my twin,” Courtney said. “Keeping her from me was selfish. If I’d never found that baby book, they might have never told me about her, and then I never would have known the truth.”

“Very true. But you did find that baby book, and now you do know the truth.” Aunt Sophie lifted her mug to her lips and took a sip, her hand shaking. Courtney prepared herself to jump out of her seat in case she dropped it, but her aunt managed to place it back on the armrest and hold it steady. “At this point, what’s in the past is done. Being angry at your mom and grandma won’t change that. Ever since Thanksgiving, when you and your sisters left early and refused to speak with them, they’ve been beating themselves up over it. Savannah was right to worry that your mom would return to drinking—your grandma and I worried about it, as well. We were so grateful when Savannah offered her forgiveness.”

“I know you wouldn’t believe it after hearing our fight yesterday, but I’m grateful to Savannah for that, too,” Courtney said, curling up on the couch. “The last thing I want is for Mom to relapse. But I can’t force myself to forgive her and Grandma. Every time I think of them, I’m reminded of how they never told me about Britney, and I get angry all over again. I hate it.”

“Neither of them can take back their actions,” Aunt Sophie said softly. “But you need to ask yourself—do you want to look back and wish you’d handled this differently? Most of us go through life feeling invincible, but none of us know what day will be our last. Is holding on to your anger truly worth it?”

“When you put it that way, I know it’s not,” Courtney said. “But I can’t just forget about what they did.”

“I didn’t ask you to forget,” Aunt Sophie said. “You should never forget. But you should try to forgive.”

Courtney couldn’t meet her eyes, because she wanted to forgive Grandma and Mom. She missed talking with them—Grandma especially. But it was too fresh right now. Especially today, with her birthday as a reminder of how Britney was missing from their lives.