Christmas On Crimson Mountain

“‘O Holy Night,’” he told her.

“Nice choice,” she said with a smile then turned her attention back to the road. She found a parking space a couple of blocks off Main Street. The snow was packed down on the roads, but the sidewalks had been cleared. “The lighting of the big tree in the town square was last week, so we missed that,” she said as Connor and the girls got out of the car. “But the stores are all decorated so it’s fun to shop and—”

“It’s never fun to shop,” Connor said, glancing around at the historic buildings and painted Victorian storefronts that made up downtown Crimson. “This place looks like a movie set.”

April smiled. “It’s beautiful, right?”

“It looks fake,” he corrected.

She started to narrow her eyes, then forced an even brighter smile on her face. “The best part about Crimson is that it’s not fake. This is a real town filled with people who love the holidays. It’s a wonderful place to live.”

Shay returned her smile. “I like it.”

April felt a pang of guilt at the hope in the girl’s eyes. “Of course, California is a wonderful place to live, too. Your aunt Tracy—”

“Can we just go?” Ranie asked, stomping her boots against the sidewalk. “I’m going to freeze to death if we stand around any longer.”

“Right.” April took a breath. “Let’s check out a few of the shops.” She tugged gently on one of Shay’s braids. “There’s a great little toy store around the corner.”

Shay slipped her hand into Connor’s as they started down the sidewalk. “We’ll need lots of games and toys so we don’t bug you when you’re writing the book.”

Connor’s jaw tightened and April watched him try to pull his hand out of Shay’s, but she held tight. “Um...okay.”

“You should probably buy us extra. That way we’ll be really quiet.”

“If that’s what it will take,” Connor said around a choked laugh.

A laugh. It was like music to April’s ears.

“And Ranie wants a new iPad.” Shay was skipping now. “If they have those.”

“Connor is not buying your sister an iPad,” April said quickly.

Ranie glanced back at Shay. “Nice try, though.”

They got to the front of the toy shop, and Shay let go of Connor’s hand to press her fingers to the glass. “It’s a winter wonderland,” she said, her tone rapturous.

It was true. The toy store had one of the best window displays in town. It was a mini version of Santa’s workshop, with elves positioned around a large table filled with wooden trains and boats and stuffed bears and smiling dolls. Above that scene a sleigh pulled by tiny reindeer was suspended from the ceiling and, from one side, Santa Claus watched the whole scene.

“They have holiday decorations in California,” Ranie muttered.

“But it seems more Christmasy when it’s cold and snowy,” Shay said, and sighed happily. “Like this is a place Santa Claus would live.”

Connor cleared his throat. “You know Santa really—”

Ranie stomped on his foot at the same time April elbowed him.

“Hey,” he yelled, wincing.

“What were you going to say about Santa?” Shay asked, turning from the window.

“I was going to say that Santa lives at the North Pole.” He threw a look to April and then Ranie.

“Sorry,” April whispered.

“But,” he continued, focusing on Shay. “I’m sure Crimson is one of his favorite stops on Christmas Eve.”

She nodded, serious. “So he’ll find us even though we’re not with Mommy or Aunt Tracy?”

“He’ll find you,” he assured the girl with a small half smile.

April’s heart pounded in her chest. Connor Pierce wasn’t as dead on the inside as he pretended to be. The way he looked at Shay convinced her his heart wasn’t totally broken. It could be fixed and, because it was her way, she wanted to fix it. To fix him.

The door to the shop opened, several mothers with a gaggle of small children between them spilling out. There was giggling and happy shouts as the group headed down the sidewalk.

“Let’s go in,” she said, and held the door. Shay ran through and Ranie followed. April glanced back at Connor. He looked as if he’d seen a ghost. His face had gone pale and the lines bracketing his mouth and eyes were, once again, etched deep.

“Are you okay?” She turned to call for Ranie and Shay, but they’d disappeared into the crowded store. “Let me find the girls and—”

“No.” He ran a hand through his dark hair. “I can’t go in there. I saw a sporting-goods store on the next block. I’ll meet you there.” He pulled out his wallet, grabbed a hundred-dollar bill and pressed it into her palm. “Buy them whatever the hell they want to shut them up.”

She opened her mouth to argue, but he was already striding away.

“What’s wrong with Connor?”

Ranie and Shay had returned to the open doorway, staring at April.

“He needed to...uh...”

“Get away from us,” Ranie supplied.

April shook her head and moved into the store. “No, that wasn’t it. We’ll meet up with him in a bit.”

“But I want him to help me pick out a game,” Shay said. It was the first time April had heard the young girl whine. “I like him.”

Ranie sniffed. “He doesn’t like—”

“Then let’s pick out some fun stuff,” April interrupted. “I’m sure he’ll want to see it all.”

Ranie rolled her eyes again but led Shay toward the wall of board and card games at the side of the store.

April sighed as she followed them, glancing over her shoulder, hoping to see Connor making his way through the other customers toward her. He wasn’t there. Suddenly, all of her hope and holiday spirit seemed insignificant in the face of his overwhelming grief.

* * *

Connor ducked into a narrow walkway between two buildings a few storefronts away from the toy shop. He pressed himself against the cold brick and tried to calm the nausea roiling through him. His legs trembled and his heart raced. He could barely catch his breath from the panic choking him.