‘Will you marry the new earl? Did it happen like you predicted?’ Hilda watched her with narrowed eyes. ‘Is that what is going on? You can tell me, cousin. I can imagine the Norseman’s king doing that, not giving you time to properly mourn and seeking to secure peace on the land that way.’
‘No, my fate is something else.’ She paused and gazed directly at Hilda, whose golden-blonde hair, pale blue eyes and petite frame ensured men’s eyes followed her wherever she went. Hilda would learn soon enough. No doubt the entire hall buzzed with the news. ‘I’ve agreed to be Brand Bjornson’s concubine. I suspect the Norseman thinks it is an honour. And, yes, I do know how people will react and what they will call me but I did it for them. I hope to soften his heart towards my people.’
Saying the words out loud helped.
A tiny tingle went through her. It might be different with Brand Bjornson. When their hands had accidentally brushed as he regarded the ledger, all her senses became aware of him. Something that had never happened to her before. She banished the thought as wishful thinking and false hope. She’d endured Egbert’s touch and the bruises he had given her. She could cope with this Norseman. She was a survivor.
Hilda stared at her with shocked eyes and gaping mouth.
‘Thank you, cousin, for your silence.’
‘You’re serious! That’s your scheme?’
‘Would I joke about such a thing?’ Edith folded her hands in her lap. ‘I have to remain here in order for my plans to work. Leaving would have meant that I had lost everything.’
Hilda’s mouth dropped open, making her resemble a fish. ‘I’d rather kill myself. Brand Bjornson is a monster. His very name causes grown men to quake in their boots. And he sports an ugly red scar about his neck. They say that even his own mother tried to kill him but failed. The man sups with the devil.’
‘Unfortunately I didn’t have that choice,’ Edith said with a steady voice. Hilda was always overly dramatic, even as a young girl. ‘If I die, who will speak for the people who till this land or work in the kitchens? And I dare say Brand Bjornson sups with whoever sits down at his table.’
‘Stop trying to turn it into a joke, Edith. Why did you agree to it? How could you?’ Hilda shook her head. ‘Sometimes I fail to understand you, cousin. You should have drawn a knife, bared your breast and plunged it in. That is what any true Northumbrian lady would have done.’
Edith bit back the words asking why Hilda had agreed to be Egbert’s mistress, then? Even now, she refused to stoop that low. There were some things which were better left unsaid. She accepted that Hilda had had her reasons and overall had behaved better than some of Egbert’s other women.
‘Why, Edith?’
‘There were others to think of,’ she said finally when Hilda’s horrified gaze became too great to bear. ‘I refuse to abandon everyone for the sake of my honour. In this way, perhaps I can tame the Norseman and prevent him from destroying all that I hold dear. Mayhap in time he will come to trust me and will install me as the steward.’
‘As you say, it is your choice, my cousin.’ Hilda stood up and made a brief curtsy. ‘I wish you well. I mean that. I hope you know what you have undertaken. These men...they are not quite human. You are gently bred. You haven’t had to suffer—’
‘I believe I understand the rudiments of the position I now occupy.’
Hilda flushed. ‘No offence meant, cousin. I want to be certain that you know what you are doing. When I was in the south—’
‘Thank you, Hilda.’ Edith inclined her head. The last thing she wanted to hear was a horror story about how Hilda had experienced the habits of the Norsemen. If she did, her courage might give out. Right now, not thinking about what the night might bring was the only way she’d survive. ‘We have a feast to prepare. Busy hands mean neither of us will have time to think or consider.’
‘A feast? How can you think about eating at a time like this?’
‘The Norsemen will expect to be fed,’ Edith retorted, touching the keys to remind herself that she still had control. He hadn’t taken that away from her! ‘We must show them true Northumbrian hospitality. Thus far they have not started looting, pillaging or worse—something to be celebrated, surely?’
Hilda rolled her eyes. ‘You can be such an innocent, Edith.’
‘I prefer a realist,’ Edith said between gritted teeth. She wasn’t going to lose her temper. ‘I prefer this hall with four walls and a roof. I prefer to have a place to lay my head.’
‘And that’s it, the end as far as you are concerned?’ Hilda snapped her fingers under Edith’s nose. ‘You are giving up without a fight? You should have allowed me to speak to them. I would have fought them with my bare hands before I allowed them to take this hall. I never took you for a coward.’
‘I can hardly fight.’ Edith’s jaw ached and she tried to force her muscles to relax. ‘Egbert took every able-bodied man with him and not one has returned. How many widows did he leave in his quest for glory?’
‘And you believe you will be able to tame this Norseman warrior of yours?’ Hilda looked her up and down. ‘Do you have the womanly skills, cousin? You would be happier amongst the vellum and ink or out riding and looking at how the crops are doing. What do you know of the art of love? What will happen when this Norseman discovers you prefer learning to the arts of love?’
‘You forget yourself, cousin.’ Edith slammed her fists together. ‘You’re a guest here and asked for my protection, protection which I have sought to give. Always. Your behaviour here was your own affair and I’ve never questioned it.’
Hilda flushed scarlet and dropped her gaze. ‘Forgive me, Edith, for speaking plainly, but you must not hold on to false hope that you will be able to hold on to this place for the long term. Did you have another choice? Something that might save us both?’
Edith clenched her fists. She didn’t want to think about the night or what would happen when Brand discovered all of her inadequacies. She had to hope that he had another purpose in mind when he made her his concubine. Or that if Hilda had been there, she might have been the one he chose. ‘I will face that when I have to. These Norsemen may have different expectations.’
‘I hope for all of our sakes that they do.’ Hilda put her hand on Edith’s sleeve. ‘I really do, cousin. I just hope this one is worth it. That’s all. For once I don’t envy you.’
‘Thank you. It will be.’ Edith bowed her head and concentrated on the keys. It had to be. The alternative wasn’t worth contemplating.
‘Where do you expect me to be during this proposed feast?’ Hilda put a hand to her head. ‘You know how those Norsemen unnerve me. My mind goes all to pieces, but I want to play my part. Give me a job and I will do it, something out of the way. Just for a few days, until I know what they are on about and whether I need to find somewhere else to live.’
‘You may stay in the kitchen if the Norsemen upset you that much.’ Edith thought quickly. She agreed with Hilda that having her in the main hall would not do at all. Edith wanted to be able to concentrate on her role rather than wondering what Hilda might do next. ‘The cook can always do with another scullery maid. I doubt they will give you any bother there, so long as you don’t mind getting your hands dirty. I will have a word with him.’
Hilda’s cheeks reddened. ‘Thank you, cousin. I do appreciate your kindness. The kitchen it shall be. Should you need any advice...about...you know...I am happy to give it.’
‘It is kind of you to offer and I will remember it, should it come to it.’ Edith silently vowed that Hilda would be the last person she’d ask to tutor her in the arts of love. The humiliation would be far too great.
Hilda hurried off, her narrow hips swaying and her skirts swishing to give a glimpse of her ankles. Even the way she moved emphasised her sensuality and highlighted Edith’s own awkwardness.
Edith raised her fist. ‘I will do it. I will succeed. Or die in the attempt.’
Chapter Three
‘What are you contemplating, Lady Edith? You appear lost in your thoughts.’
Brand’s rich voice caused Edith to jump. He stood far too close to where she rested in the alcove. Where had he come from? And how much had he overheard? For a large man, he moved silently. She bit her lip. She’d have to remember that. Egbert had always announced his presence with heavy walking and a litany of complaints.
‘I was resting.’ Edith forced her hands to stay calmly in her lap, rather than gesturing wildly. Hilda’s story about Brand’s mother trying to kill him had to be a wild fantasy. No one surely could be that wicked. ‘The day has been traumatic for me. My entire life has been altered and it isn’t even midday. It has given me something to contemplate.’
‘You regret your decision now that you have had time to consider your position? You wish to leave for the nunnery, but worry about summoning the courage to inform me?’
The sun made it impossible for her to see his eyes. All she knew was that he wanted her to give up and admit defeat. That wasn’t going to happen. Retreating would be a defeat, not only for her but for everyone she cared about. Despite what Hilda thought, she could be a concubine even to a man like Brand Bjornson.
‘Not in the slightest.’ Edith tilted her chin upwards and met his penetrating blue gaze full on. ‘Were you searching for me? Has something happened?’
His dark blond hair fell in disarray about his shoulders and he’d shed his axe and overtunic, but that only emphasised the way his shirt clung to his chest. She was more aware than ever of the power in his shoulders. He was most definitely not a man to cross lightly. ‘Nothing unexpected.’
The strange warm tingling feeling invaded her body. This was the man she would have to play the concubine with, if she could. Her heart sank. Hilda was right. What had she been thinking of? The enormity of the task crashed into her. She should have taken the easy route out and saved her own skin. What if she didn’t please him? What would happen to everyone then?
‘It is good to know.’
He tilted his head to one side. ‘Did you think something would be wrong?’
‘Why should there be?’ She hurriedly smoothed her skirts and her hand touched the circlet of keys that she always wore. The tiny action gave her courage. She was doing it for her home. The keys were a comfort. She had them and it meant certain things were safe and hidden.
‘You are very quick with your answer.’ He regarded her with speculative eyes.
‘How long have you been standing there?’ she asked with a faint breathless catch in her voice, swallowed hard and tried again. This time her voice sounded firmer. ‘Is there something you require?’