When I Fall In Love

‘Croydon? Who goes to Croydon for anything?’ Woody frowned but Daisy’s interruption had achieved its purpose, bringing him back to the table.

‘Thank you. Now I think we should discuss what we’re trying to achieve with this choir. What songs will we sing? Are we forming for a particular performance opportunity or simply as a social gathering?’ Daisy looked up from her list at Elsie and Woody’s bemused expressions. ‘What?’

Elsie placed her hand gently on Daisy’s. ‘This is Woody’s vision. And I’m helping him with it. You’re here for moral support, remember?’

‘Well, I was only trying to help …’

‘I know and, believe me, you’re being a great help. Lots of important things to consider there, which we will, after we’ve heard what Woody has to say.’

Open-mouthed, but remembering that Elsie stood between her and the questionable Swedish home décor she needed for work, Daisy folded her arms and nodded at Woody.

‘Good girl,’ he grinned, oblivious to the killer death stare Daisy shot back. ‘This choir – and I don’t even want to call it a choir because it’s more like a meeting of musical minds – it needs to be meaningful, yeah? None of that Ave Maria shizzle. No offence, Daisy, if you like that kinda stuff. I’m just working to a higher calling. We’re gonna represent the greats – bestowing their music on this generation so the legends live on in hearts and minds. We’ll be like undercover agents for the forces of music: choir ninjas, if you will. We’ll strike fast and hard, leaving minds reeling with musical missiles, man. It’ll be a spiritual awakening for the masses, through the medium of musical mash-ups. So whaddya say?’

Elsie didn’t really know how to respond. Woody’s vision didn’t sound like any choir she’d ever encountered – more like an underground resistance movement than a group of people getting together to enjoy singing songs. It was immediately obvious to her what she could bring to the table in this partnership: sanity, mostly.

‘It all sounds very impressive. But to get to where you want this to be, I think we need a more – um – practical strategy. What type of people are we looking for to be part of this? And, perhaps most importantly, where are we going to rehearse? I called a couple of church halls and community centres today and I have to say it’s not looking promising. Those that aren’t booked up completely during the week are either too far out of town or ridiculously expensive.’

Woody looked as if he had just lost the award for Best Band 1984 to Black Lace. ‘But this thing has gotta happen, Elsie! I saw it in my dream …’

‘How many people do you think you’re looking for?’ asked Cher.

‘It depends who responds when we put the call out for singers,’ Elsie replied. ‘We can try to get a story in the local papers and I thought I’d make some posters and see if I can get the shops and pubs in North Laine to display them. My guess is we’ll probably get five or six people to begin with.’

‘So meet here,’ Cher suggested. ‘I presume you have a keyboard or something you can bring?’

Elsie nodded, thrilled at Cher’s kind suggestion. But not as thrilled as Woody Jensen was. For at that very moment he had leapt from his chair and scooped Elsie’s boss into a dramatic Hollywood clinch, as Daisy looked on in sheer horror. Breathless and laughing, Cher broke free from Woody’s embrace and straightened her blouse.

‘Blimey, if that’s the reception I get for offering you a venue for the choir, I’d like to see what happens when I offer you something you really need.’

Woody’s grin was pure lechery. ‘Stay around for long enough and you might find out, treacle.’

Cher winked at Elsie. ‘Ooh, I like this one. You can bring him again!’

An hour later, as Elsie and Daisy drove towards Croydon, Daisy was still struggling to cope with the outrageous flirting she’d witnessed.

‘Talk about overt. I thought they were going to ignore us completely and just go at it right in the middle of the café,’ she shuddered.

Keeping her eyes on the building traffic ahead, Elsie smiled. ‘I thought it was sweet.’

‘It was obscene. I’m not surprised he acted that way but I would’ve thought Cher had more sense.’

‘It was nice to see her having fun,’ Elsie replied. ‘She’s had a bit of a rough run lately with her latest flame.’

Daisy tutted and stared out of the passenger window. ‘And she thinks that man is going to be any better? Well I’m glad I was with you. Who knows what kind of moves he might have pulled on you otherwise? You know what they say about rock’n’roll stars and their liberal behaviour …’

The traffic lights ahead changed to red and the car came to a halt in a long line of early evening traffic. Elsie let out a sigh and turned to her sister.

‘Dais, you’re going to have to find something to like about Woody if you want to be a part of this choir project. Or else it might be best for you to bow out now.’

Her sister stared at her. ‘Is that what you want?’

The traffic inched forwards, anticipating the signal change.

‘Of course it’s not. But I also don’t want to have a battle raging between the two of you. The choir is meant to be fun, remember? Either sort it out or don’t be involved.’

The green light framed Elsie’s flint-like expression as the car pulled away from the junction. For a long time, neither sister spoke, the only sound the robotic tones of the sat-nav lady.

‘In. Point-five miles. Turn. Left. On. Beddington Farm Road. Then. Turn. Right.’

The familiar yellow and blue warehouse came into view and Daisy took the opportunity to break the silence. ‘Looks like we’re here.’

‘Arriving. At. C-R-0. 4-U-Z.’

‘It would seem we are.’

‘Els, look, I’m sorry. He just seems to bring out the worst in me. But I’ll try to get on with him, I do want to be involved in this project.’

Elsie reached across and patted her sister’s knee. ‘Then that’s good to hear.’ She surveyed the busy car park before them. ‘My life, I wasn’t expecting it to be this busy.’

The vast car park sprawled around the superstore was heaving with cars as they crawled at a snail’s pace along the rows. Some vehicles had clearly given up looking for actual spaces and were jacked up at awkward angles on the surrounding pavements, while others lurked ominously behind parked cars with open boots being packed by grim-faced shoppers. It was every person for themselves today it seemed, a reality quite at odds with the relaxed Scandinavian images the chain displayed on its enormous billboard signs across the car park.

‘Maybe we should have set off earlier,’ Daisy mumbled, the smallest hint of panic beginning to sound in her voice.

‘We’ll find a space, don’t worry,’ Elsie assured her, scouting the lines of parked cars ahead for any glimpse of a departing vehicle or vacant space.

‘I beg to differ. This is worse than Christmas.’

‘We’ll find one,’ Elsie repeated. Suddenly, she saw it: at the end of the row, barely visible behind the boot of a tank-like four-by-four. But it was a space … Putting her foot down, Elsie sped towards it and practically handbrake-turned her car in. Flushed with pride at her daredevil parking skills, she whooped loudly and turned to a pale-faced Daisy, just as a car horn blared loudly behind her.

‘Did you see that? Am I the Queen of Parking Space Spotting or what? Daisy? What’s wrong?’

‘I think that car was waiting.’ Daisy nodded towards a sleek black Jaguar that was furiously screeching away.

Elsie was unrepentant. ‘Their fault for not claiming it quickly enough.’

‘But they were indicating …’

‘Daisy. You wanted to come to this highly questionable home store – despite what Dad would say if he ever found out – and if I hadn’t parked in this space we could well have not been able to stay. It was a genuine mistake on my part. I didn’t see there was a car waiting. But this kind of thing happens all the time, so stop worrying and let’s go inside, OK?’

Reservations thus laid to rest, Daisy agreed and they stepped out of the car.

‘That was a pretty nifty bit of parking, I’ll give you that.’

Elsie locked the door and grinned at her sister. ‘High speed stunt-parking is one of my many specialities.’

‘Oi! You should drive with your eyes open, love,’ an angry voice shouted behind them. Elsie and Daisy turned to see a man storming in their direction. Never a fan of confrontation, Daisy groaned and hurried quickly towards the store entrance. Elsie made to follow, then froze as the features of the fuming figure came into view. Oh no. Surely not …

At exactly the same time, the man recognised Elsie and skidded to a halt inches away from her. ‘You!’