It Started With A Kiss: The Secret Love-Child / Facing Up to Fatherhood / Not a Marrying Man

‘No, but I can understand why. He’d been thrown for a loop when the solicitor told him his Dad wanted to leave his weekender to some strange woman.’

‘You make a lot of excuses for him, don’t you? He was still unfaithful to you. And he hurt you, Isabel.’

‘He didn’t mean to. Look, I’m sorry I told you about it now. It’s really none of your business. Thank you for ringing and for making me feel a little better, but I think we should leave it right there, don’t you? As I said, we want different things in life. I wonder…could you possibly post my phone back to me?’

‘I’d rather drop it off to you.’

‘And I’d rather you didn’t.’

‘You’re afraid of me,’ he said, startled by this realisation.

‘Don’t be ridiculous!’

Oh-oh. She was definitely sobering up. And returning to her former stroppy self.

‘Just tell me one thing.’

‘What?’

‘Did you love him?’

‘I was marrying him,’ she snapped. ‘What do you think?’

‘I think that’s a very evasive answer. For a person who demands the truth from others, you’re not too good at delivering it yourself.’

She sighed. ‘Very well. I liked and respected Luke, but, no, I did not love him. Satisfied?’

‘Not even remotely,’ Rafe said ruefully. ‘Did you think he loved you?’

‘No.’

‘What on earth kind of marriage was that going to be?’

‘One that lasted.’

‘Oh, yeah, right. It didn’t even get through the engagement. For pity’s sake, Isabel, what did you expect? Men want passion from their wives. And sex. At least in the beginning.’

‘You think I didn’t give Luke sex?’

‘Not the kind which his new dolly-bird obviously does.’

‘You don’t know what you’re talking about. Look, I’m sorry I started this conversation. You simply don’t have the capacity to understand what Luke and I had together. How could you? You’re one of those men who lives for himself and himself alone. A woman is just a passing pleasure to you, a bit of R&R from your work. You don’t want a real relationship with one. As for children, you probably see them as inconveniences, little ankle-biters who’d get in the way of your lifestyle. Luke wasn’t like that. He wanted a family. Like me. He wanted for ever. Like me. We might not have been madly in love but we were good friends and extremely compatible, in bed as well as out. We could have had a happy marriage. I don’t believe he’s in love with this new dolly-bird, as you call her. He only met her yesterday. I think it’s just sex, the kind that obsesses you so much sometimes that you can’t think straight.’

Rafe’s eyes widened. It sounded as if she’d been there, done that. She was becoming more interesting by the minute.

‘That kind of physical affair never lasts,’ she finished bitterly.

Yep. She’d been there, done that, all right. Rafe didn’t know if he felt tantalised by this knowledge, or jealous. Either way, the thought of Isabel in the throes of an all-consuming sexual passion was an intriguing one.

‘Is that what you’re hoping?’ he suggested. ‘That maybe this thing your Luke is having with this girl won’t last? That maybe he’ll wake up on Monday morning, realise he’s made a big mistake and beg you to take him back?’

‘Well, actually, no. I hadn’t been hoping that. But now that you’ve mentioned the possibility…’

Luke could have kicked himself.

‘Don’t start grasping at straws, Isabel.’

‘I’m not. But I’m also not going to repeat the mistakes of my past. So, thank you for thinking of me, Rafe. But find someone else to photograph, and to take to dinner, because it isn’t going to be me.’

‘Isabel, please…’

‘No, Rafe,’ she said sternly. ‘I realise you have difficulty in accepting that word, but it’s definitely no. Now I must go. Goodbye.’

And she hung up on him.

Swearing, Rafe slammed down his end of the phone. He’d handled that all wrong. Totally abysmally wrong!

Still, perhaps it was for the best. Isabel wanted marriage. Whereas he most definitely didn’t.

But she was wrong about what he wanted from her. It wasn’t just sex.

Oh, come now, the voice of brutal honesty piped up. It’s always just sex you’re looking for these days. All that other stuff you offer a female is nothing but foreplay. The chit-chat. The photographing. The dinner dates. All with one end in view. Getting whatever pretty woman has taken your eye into bed and keeping her there on and off till you grow bored.

Which you always do in the end. Admit it, man, you’ve become shallow and selfish with women, exactly as Isabel said you were. You haven’t been worth two bob since Liz left you. She stuffed you, buddy. Took away your heart. Isabel was right not to get involved with you. You’re a dead loss to someone like her. Go back to work. That’s the only thing you’re good for. Creating images. Anything real is just too much for you.

He stomped downstairs, still muttering. Till he saw Isabel’s shiny blue cellphone on the hall table. How odd that just seeing something she owned gave him a thrill.

Did he dare still take it back to her?

No, he decided. She’d said no. He had to respect that. He’d post it to her on Monday, as she’d asked.

Feeling more empty and wretched than he had in years, Rafe returned to his darkroom and tried to bury himself in the one thing which had always sustained him, even in his darkest moments.

But, for the second time that day, his precious craft failed to deliver the distraction he craved.

CHAPTER FIVE (#ulink_27ff8797-94d0-526f-9827-1d3a6f59daee)

ISABEL groaned. She’d handled that all wrong; talked too much; revealed too much.

Alcohol always made her talkative.

She thanked her stars that she’d pulled herself together towards the end—and that she’d had enough courage to resist temptation.

But oh, she’d wanted to say yes. To everything he’d offered. The photography. The dinner date. Sex after wards, no doubt.

Isabel closed her eyes at the thought.

They sprang open again at another thought. Her mobile!