Nicola blinked and then lowered her knife and fork when she realised Cade had directed that question at her. It was nearing the end of her second full day at Waminda Downs and they were all seated around the kitchen table eating dinner. She and Cade had barely spoken since he’d shown her the home gym yesterday. ‘I … um … good. Thank you,’ she added belatedly. ‘And … uh … you?’
He ignored that. ‘Have the girls given you any trouble?’
‘No!’
‘So … you’re settling in okay?’
‘Yes, of course.’ She glanced at Ella and Holly and a smile built inside her. The three of them had enjoyed a fabulous day. ‘Your daughters are delightful. I can’t tell you how much I enjoy their company.’
One side of his mouth hooked up. ‘You don’t have to. It’s written all over your face.’
Was it? She sat back. Maybe that was something she should add to her list of personal-attributes-to-work-on-and-improve. She didn’t want to be so easy to read. She didn’t want to wear her heart on her sleeve.
She wanted to be coolly poised and self-possessed.
‘It wasn’t a criticism,’ he said quietly.
Definitely something she needed to work on!
She tried to smooth her face out into a polite smile. ‘I wanted to thank you for letting me use the home gym.’
He shrugged her gratitude aside, but his eyes started to dance. ‘How’s the treadmill turning out? Managing to stay on your feet?’
She nearly spluttered her mouthful of iced water across the table, but the grin he sent her made her laugh. ‘That was below the belt!’
‘I couldn’t resist.’ He took a long pull on his beer. ‘Have you been having any problems with any of the equipment? There must be instruction manuals somewhere around the place.’
‘It all seems to be in perfect working order. I might loathe it, but the treadmill is a cinch to operate and I don’t hate it as much as that darn rowing machine.’
He stared and then he threw his head back and laughed. Harry chuckled. Ella laughed too, although Nicola suspected she had no idea what she was laughing at. She just wanted to join in. Not to be outdone, Holly let forth with a squeal
Nicola Ann, must you sound so gauche?
Inside, she cringed. She was supposed to be developing polish and self-possession, not blurting out the first thing that came into her head and sounding like an idiot, becoming the butt of the joke.
Frustration built inside her. She clenched her hands so tight her fingernails bit into her palms. Why couldn’t she manage one simple thing—to think before she spoke? Was it really that hard?
Failure. Loser. Doormat.
The insults flew at her, thick and fast. Not just in her mother’s voice either. Her own was the loudest.
She closed her eyes and drew in a breath. ‘I’m sorry, that came out all wrong. I just meant …’
He raised an eyebrow. He’d stopped laughing but he was still grinning. That grin made her heart beat a little harder. It made it difficult for her not to grin back. She swallowed and lectured herself for the umpteenth time about dignity. ‘There’s absolutely nothing wrong with any of the equipment. It’s just that exercise and I have an ambivalent relationship.’
‘Love, you ain’t the only one,’ Harry said with a consoling pat to Nicola’s arm. ‘Now, how about I bathe the littlies while you stack the dishwasher?’
It was obvious Harry adored Ella and Holly and, if the expression on her face was anything to go by, she enjoyed bath time too. Nicola was happy to divide the chores. ‘Deal.’ She rose and started to clear the table.
‘You promised to read me a bedtime story, Nic!’ Ella reminded her. ‘Don’t forget.’
She planted her hands on her hips and gave an exaggerated roll of her eyes. ‘How could I forget something as important as that?’
With a giggle, Ella allowed Harry to lead her away.
A glance back at the table confirmed that Cade watched her. She couldn’t decipher the expression in his eyes, but it made her break out in gooseflesh and turned all her fingers to thumbs. She opened her mouth to fill the quiet, but shut it again. That kind of rattling on was neither dignified nor self-possessed. She stacked the dishwasher, and suffered his examination in silence.
‘Nicola,’ he said, finally breaking the silence, ‘you don’t strike me as the gym-junkie type.’
No, she was more a curl-up-on-the-sofa-with-a-good-book-and-a-block-of-chocolate type. Admitting that certainly wouldn’t be dignified, though. ‘I think we’ve definitely established I’m not the jogging-outside-in-the-fresh-country-air type either,’ she managed with a wry, hopefully dignified smile. ‘Despite what I said, I do understand the benefits of regular exercise and I am grateful for the use of your home gym.’
She poured detergent into the dishwasher and then switched it on. ‘I have every intention of continuing.’
He stood. ‘Come with me. There’s something I want to show you.’
Last time he’d said that he’d showed her a home gym.
He grinned at her hesitation. ‘You’ll love it, I promise.’
Nicola smelled like strawberry jam. He’d first noticed it when he’d helped her to her feet yesterday morning. He hadn’t been able to get the smell of it out of his head. He’d been craving another hit ever since. Walking beside her now towards the stables, he could drag that scent into his lungs unimpeded and drink in his fill.
Still … He glanced across at her. There was no denying that she was a hell of a puzzle. When she let her guard down her blunt honesty and self-deprecation made him laugh. She was completely unguarded around the children. She was much more reserved around him and Harry. Especially him.
And the shadows in her eyes haunted him. They reminded him of last Christmas, with all of its bleak despair and bitterness. He didn’t want reminders of last Christmas. He wanted festivity and merriment and all-out Christmas cheer.
His lips twisted. He had a hunch that plugging away every day on that darn treadmill and rowing machine weren’t going to improve Nicola’s Christmas cheer. It might just cement those shadows in her eyes for good!
Exercise-wise, he had her pegged as a team player—basketball, cricket, softball, it probably wouldn’t matter which. There wasn’t a chance he’d be able to organise that out here, though. At least, not until the rest of the family arrived in a week and a half’s time.
Which left him with one other option to win her over, and help dispel those shadows.
He ushered her through the door of the barn. She glanced up, spearing him with those amazing eyes. She opened her mouth, and then shut it again. He sensed the effort it took her and wondered why she didn’t just ask what she so obviously wanted to.
He took her arm to guide her through the early evening dimness of the barn and through a connecting door to the stables. Her eyes widened as they walked along the line of horse stalls. Her breath quickened and beneath his fingers her skin suddenly seemed to come alive.
He dropped his hand, shook it out, and told himself to stop being stupid. Halting at a stall halfway down the row, he gestured to the horse inside. The mare whickered softly and nuzzled his hand for a treat. He fed her the lump of sugar he’d stolen from the kitchen.
‘This here is Scarlett O’Hara.’ He glanced down at Nicola, who was staring at the horse as if she’d never seen one before. ‘She’s yours to ride for the duration of your stay at Waminda Downs.’
She stared at him as if she hadn’t understood. The hair at his nape started to prickle. He shoved his hands into his pockets. Did he have her pegged all wrong? It was just …
She liked kids. She liked dogs. It made sense that she’d like horses too.
He hunched his shoulders. ‘I mean, if you don’t want to ride that’s fine. But if you do, I’m happy to teach you.’
Her eyes filled and he backed up a step. Darn it all! She wasn’t going to cry, was she? He was trying to instil Christmas spirit, not histrionics.
She clasped her hands beneath her chin. ‘Do you really mean that?’