My Big Fake Green-Card Wedding

Adam motioned to the wedding guests. “We’ll leave just as soon as we say goodbye.”

“You can’t leave now,” Eleni protested when she heard Adam’s plans for a honeymoon. “It’s a custom in our country for the bride and groom to share a meal together at their wedding.”

Melina glanced at Adam. “Do we have time?”

By now Adam had had all the Greek customs and promises he could handle, including Melina’s no-touching rule. He tried to look like an eager bridegroom. “Thank you, but we have a boat to catch.”

With a dramatic sigh, Eleni dug into her purse and pulled out little paper bags filled with rice and tied with ribbons. After passing them to Peter and Arianna, she blew air kisses at Adam and Melina and, shouting, “Hopa!” she tossed the rice into the air. “May you be blessed with many children!”

Melina’s smile faded as she glanced at Adam and saw a startled look come over his face. He was right. With the no-touching rule, there would be no chance of their having children. The idea of a son that resembled Adam made her ache with a longing she’d never taken the time to dwell on before. Even though the rule had been her idea, after promising to love, honor and cherish Adam, she was almost ready to change her mind if he asked her to.

Adam swallowed hard as a grain of rice hit him above his right eye. He wasn’t going to stick around to hear any Greek blessings, tradition or not. Children! Fat chance, when he thought of his promise not to touch his bride. Besides, his daughter Jamie was enough for him. He reached for Melina’s hand and dashed with her out of the chapel.

AS IF HER FEAR of water had become a prophecy, Melina leaned limply over the side of the ferryboat taking them to Corfu. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I took the seasick pills you gave me before we left, but they don’t seem to be working.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Working on the theory that they were still in public and that touching was okay, Adam joined her on the bench and offered his handkerchief. “If I’d known you’d react this way, I would have arranged to fly to the island.”

Melina dabbed at her lips and smiled wearily. “I’m sure I’ll be fine as soon as we get on land.”

“Good.” Adam felt relieved, but he wasn’t so sure she was right. She was a good sport and deserved better than to be taken on a ferryboat that not only transported humans but also accommodated livestock.

He eyed a family huddled together across the deck. An older boy had a small pig trapped in his arms. A young sibling held the tether to a goat while his mother, from her gestures, warned him to be sure the goat didn’t chew its way free.

To really blow Adam’s mind, the goat was watching him intently.

“Yannis has arranged to have the ferryboat stop at his private dock,” Adam said with a watchful eye on the goat. “He said he would only hang around long enough to take us to his villa. I’m sure you’ll feel much better after a good night’s sleep.” He put his hand under her hair and gently massaged the back of her neck.

He heard a gentle sigh as Melina settled against him. The rapid rise and fall of her breasts against his chest gradually slowed to an even, steady beat. Surprised by her sudden silence, he gazed down at his new bride. The seasick pills must have finally worked; she’d actually fallen asleep in his arms. He raised his other hand to gently caress her cheek. Touching was okay, he told himself. They were, after all, in public.

Suddenly he felt something nudge his back. When he turned around, there was the bewhiskered goat actually trying to reach the rose Adam wore in his lapel!

He let out a curse. The boy’s mother grabbed her son by his ear and, with an apologetic smile, pointed to Adam’s jacket.

Adam tore the rose from his coat lapel, tossed it at the goat and shielded Melina before the animal had a chance to go for the small wedding bouquet she clutched in her hand.

Adam mentally compared the voyage to the uneventful ferry back home that ran between San Francisco and Sausalito. Cars and people, yes. Livestock, no. So much for quaint Greek customs.

Thankfully, Yannis, as good as his word, was waiting at his private dock where he had arranged for a special ferry stop.

Melina looked so peaceful nestled against him, Adam hated to wake her. He gathered her in his arms, motioned to an attendant to bring their two small bags and strode off the boat to meet his friend. “Thanks, Yannis. I’m sorry my wife isn’t awake to meet you,” he said, determined to have his friend believe Melina was a much-loved bride.

“Ah,” Yannis said with a broad smile. “The honeymoon has begun?”

Adam glanced down at long brown eyelashes that curved against Melina’s flushed cheeks. “I wish,” he said dryly. “I’m afraid my wife was seasick coming over. What she needs now is a good night’s rest on firm ground.”

Yannis took the two bags from the ferry attendant and motioned for Adam to follow. “I’ve arranged for your privacy. I have given the servants the weekend off,” he said expansively. “There’s enough food and drink to last you for a few days, my friend. Although I don’t suppose you will be interested in food at a time like this. The rest of the honeymoon is up to you.” He winked.

I wish, Adam thought as he shifted a sleeping Melina more comfortably in his arms. He followed his friend up the lighted stairs that had been carved into the hillside.

On the first level he reached, there was a large swimming pool surrounded by a cabana and white-and-green patio furniture. The approach to the villa itself—on the next level—was lined by graceful Greek statues and towering white marble columns covered with flowering honeysuckle vines. A beautiful blue sea and a white beach came into view.

As he realized they had reached the open interior of the villa overlooking the Ionian Sea he wished Melina was awake to enjoy the view. A few more steps and he found himself in a bedroom with a large king-size bed covered with a blue-and-white-velvet bedspread and matching pillows. The outer wall was a large picture window open to the scented evening air.

Adam’s body hardened at the impossible thought of lying against the mound of soft pillows and gazing out over the horizon with Melina in his arms.

Yannis stood aside while Adam gently placed Melina on the bed. “Nice, yes?”

“Nice, yes,” Adam echoed with a wry glance at his sleeping bride. “Is there another bedroom?”

“Another bedroom?” Yannis grinned. “There is only one bedroom here,” he added with a wink. “What would a bachelor like myself need with two bedrooms?”

Adam’s heart sank. The bed, certainly more than large enough to accommodate two people, was a temptation. But what if Melina awakened to find him in bed with her? More to the point, if he slept with her, how would he be able to keep to the no-touching rule?

Yet there was no way he was looking forward to sleeping on a couch in the other room tonight. After the surprising events of the past three days, he was simply exhausted.

“Well, my friend,” Yannis said cheerfully, “I will leave you to your honeymoon. There is a private telephone line in the den linked to my office in town, call me when you’re ready to leave.”

Adam was almost sorry to see his friend go. The immediate problem now was that he and Melina would be alone. And once they had their privacy, the damned no-touching rule would kick in.

A promise was a promise, he told himself as he turned back to the bedroom. It didn’t mean he had to like it.

In the meantime it was up to him to make sure Melina was comfortable. With the household help gone, the job was now his.

The no-touching rule would have to be suspended for now.

He mentally crossed his fingers for luck, took a deep breath and slipped off Melina’s shoes. It took a few moments for him to determine what came next, but he decided the obvious place to start was with her legs. He gently peeled silk stockings down long, shapely, creamy-smooth legs and over slender ankles to manicured toes.

The zipper on her sheer white dress presented a problem. He studied the dress before he gently turned Melina onto her side and slowly pulled down the zipper to below her waist. To his relief, Melina sighed and turned over onto her back. Sliding the dress off her shoulders and down her slender hips was a breeze.

He studied her sheer lacy bra and panties. They would prove to be a major problem that he was currently in no condition to try to resolve if he intended to honor their bargain. He left the dainty garments on, gently pulled the bedcovers back and arranged his sleeping bride in a cocoon of soft throw pillows.

Melina was everything a sane man could want in a woman, he thought as he gazed down at her. He questioned his sanity for putting himself in such a no-win situation as this. There was absolutely no way he could join her in bed and honor their bargain.

To keep himself awake, he wandered into a gleaming kitchen to find something to eat. Copper pots and pans hung from racks above the stove. A coffeemaker, a sealed canister of coffee and a toaster waited on a tiled counter.

A note on the refrigerator caught his attention. To his surprise, and great relief, it was an invitation to help himself.

Too tired to investigate the entire contents of the refrigerator, Adam reached inside for a covered plate of sliced chicken breast and an apple to munch on while he considered where to sleep.

He wandered from room to room. Unless he was a contortionist, the sectional couch in the living room was out. The couch in the den, which was no more than a futon covered with colorful pillows, resembled more of a playground than a bed.

A large TV stood against one den wall. A movie screen and a wall of built-in shelves containing dozens of videos filled another. Like the bedroom, an entire wall was made of glass.

Yannis had been dead-on about the secluded villa being a bachelor pad, Adam thought wearily as he made his way back to the kitchen—the only enclosed room in the house.

If he wanted a good night’s sleep, he had to go back to the bedroom and find a way to share the only decent bed in the house.

Adam stood at the foot of the bed, contemplating Melina. He finally decided he could resort to the early American custom of “bundling” he’d read about in some history class years ago. With beds scarce in Colonial America, he remembered reading that guests slept in the same beds separated by a barrier.