Raccoon Rampage

Sunshine played it cool. The man’s gun was out of reach. The raccoon smoothed his whiskers and straightened his hat. He loved his trusty cowboy hat. He took a plastic bag and filled it with apples before sidestepping the worms and making his way out into the night.

He stood at the door and saluted the old man. Respect Max, he thought. You came close. But I think we can chalk this one up as another victory for the Hole-in-the-Tree gang.

His friends were waiting for him as Sunshine scampered up the redwood tree and hauled himself into the hole. He pulled the bag in and apples spewed out on to the floor. He high-fived Quickpaw, then Dempsey and Rocky. “Borrowed these off Max on the way out,” he said, crunching into a juicy apple.

“I thought you were a g-goner,” stammered Rocky. “He had a gun and everything.”

“He was no problem,” exaggerated Sunshine. “Remember, this raccoon can break into and out of anything,” he said, cracking his tiny knuckles. “You’ve heard of a cat burglar? Well, guys, meet the world’s best raccoon burglar!” he bragged, bowing to his friends. “Oh, and young Rocky-me-lad, I thought your hiding place was excellent, by the way.”

Rocky smiled with pride. “I collected these,” he said, holding out some gold and silver coins. “They were in the drawer. They sure are pretty. Humans use them to swap for stuff. So maybe next time we can swap instead of steal?”

Quickpaw Cassidy was the brains behind the outfit. He knew Max was on to them. In fact, the whole village was on to them! He looked around their den. It was carpeted, courtesy of bathmats from Maggie’s Gift Mart. There were four small cushions to sleep on. Quickpaw smiled as he remembered this particular raid. Off the sofa at number twenty-three. We had a nice drink of lemonade too. And some candles from there. Then there were the toothbrushes from the mini-market. Mmm, being chased from there by a man with a golf club was a bit hairy! And the mirror, he thought, his chest swelling with pride. Our biggest and best job to date. He glanced at his reflection, his shiny black eyes smiling. That took all four of us, working as a team. We risked seven years of bad luck getting it down from that first-floor window!

The law of the forest meant that no animal could survive on its own. The Hole-in-the-Tree gang worked well as a unit. They were still very young raccoons, but they were learning fast. Quickpaw was full of daring ideas and he knew the others looked to him for direction. And, as the biggest, he was always expected to be at the front if there was trouble. He’d recently stood up to Calamity Colin, the roughest, toughest and meanest raccoon in the forest. Luckily for Quickpaw Cassidy he could count on his friend The Sunshine Cub and together they’d fought off “The Calamity”. A shame about Sunshine’s tail, though, thought Quickpaw. Still, half a tail is better than none!

His tail aside, Sunshine was the coolest raccoon in the forest. He even used the fight with The Calamity to his advantage, exaggerating to make it sound like he’d fought off a pack of wild dogs. When everyone else went into panic mode, the gang could count on Sunshine to stay calm. And added to that, Sunshine could break into anything. He’d even broken into the police station and stolen a walkie-talkie that sat proudly next to the mirror. Sunshine liked the mirror, never missing an opportunity to spruce up his whiskers and straighten his cowboy hat. Sometimes he’d press the walkie-talkie button and jabber away in Raccoon to the police. From the tone of their reply, he knew it annoyed them. But it was great fun!

Rocky was the worrier, always predicting bad weather, predators and famine. He was skinny and nervous and would flinch at the slightest noise, but was good to have in the gang because he nagged the others until things got done. It was Rocky who’d insisted they build their den high enough to avoid bears. It was Rocky who insisted on a small store of food “for a rainy day” and it was Rocky who’d made sure they didn’t steal honey from the killer bees.

In fact, Rocky was the perfect antidote to Dempsey, who saw the bright side of everything and the good in everyone. Dempsey was also a bit of a dreamer. He loved to sit and watch Max’s TV through the window and he dreamed of a new life in the city. His stash of City Life magazines was stacked neatly in one corner of the den and he’d plastered the walls with pictures of skyscrapers. So when Dempsey said they should move to the city and get an apartment with a TV and Xbox, it was important to have Rocky around. He was the sensible one. “We’re raccoons,” he would say. “We live in the forest. In trees! It’s what raccoons have always done and what they always will do! And we should be cautious.”

Like all good leaders, Quickpaw was a good listener. Maybe Rocky had a point? Quickpaw knew there was a fine line between being cautious and being daring. He also knew there was a fine line between being well fed and starving. While their tummies were full, courtesy of Max’s General Store, he knew that winter was coming and they needed to put on weight before food became scarce. Quickpaw Cassidy cut through the excited chatter. “We need to do one more big job,” he said to his gang. “Something that will get us enough food to see us through the winter.”

“B-B-But—” began Rocky.

“No buts,” snapped Quickpaw, waving his paws for calm. “You see this,” he said, jabbing at his tummy. “It’s not fat enough to keep me going in the winter. Have you guys felt the temperature change? Snow’s coming.”

“Which means frozen ground,” agreed Sunshine. “No grubs or fruit.”

“And the lake will be iced over,” continued Quickpaw. “So no fish.”

“No fish!” Rocky whimpered. “Disaster. I love fish.”

“Then listen carefully,” said Quickpaw, “because I have a cunning plan.”

“We’ve got until the sun reaches its highest point. That’s when the van arrives. Is everyone clear on the plan?”

“No problemo,” purred Sunshine. “I steal the keys. Easy for a raccoon with such nimble fingers as these,” he said, waggling his paws. “And I open the back doors.”

“And me and Quickpaw collect as many fish as we can,” piped up Dempsey. “Then away into the forest with enough supplies for the entire winter season. It’s genius!”

“More like dangerous,” began Rocky. “Max is sure to be on the lookout for us,” he shivered, remembering the shotgun. “And it’s not fair on Max, is it? I mean, it’s stealing.”

“Max’ll hardly notice if a few fish go missing,” sighed Quickpaw. “Humans have plenty of food. And look at what they’re doing to the forest. Remember our last tree house?”

Rocky gulped, recalling the horror when their tree house was felled to make way for some apartments.

“We lost everything. Plus humans are always fishing on our lake. That’s stealing too. They’ll be emptying it if we’re not too careful.”

“It’s not empty,” argued Rocky.

“Not yet,” agreed Sunshine. “Think of this job as our last one of the season. We nab a few fish from the back of the van before Max gets them into his freezer. The old boy will never notice. He’ll be happy that his freezer is full. And we’ll be happy that our winter stores are full.”

“And our tummies,” beamed Dempsey, rubbing his furry belly.

“Plus,” chipped in Quickpaw, “we can leave old Maxy-boy alone. He can have winter in peace, without us starving raccoons breaking and entering.”

Rocky still didn’t look sure, but Quickpaw knew there wasn’t time to stand around persuading him. Yes, it was a risk. And yes, they had to be extra careful. And yes, it was their biggest heist ever. But as leader, he had responsibilities to the gang. And his chief responsibility was to keep them alive through the barren winter season. “All back here for midday sun,” he barked. “And guys,” he sniffed, “be careful out there.”

Quickpaw and Dempsey worked as a pair. They’d already stolen Max’s washing line, a long string of freshly washed shirts, socks and pants trailing in the dust. They’d identified their next target, the hammock on Mr McCluskey’s porch. “It’s good and sturdy,” suggested Dempsey, “plus he’s only four doors from Max’s so there won’t be far to travel.” They approached the cabin, sniffing cautiously. Dempsey stood on his hind legs to get a better view of the hammock. They knew McCluskey had a dog and Quickpaw was keen to keep his bushy tail intact. Rocky was positioned on high, clinging to the top branch of an oak. Quickpaw’s words were ringing in his head – Being on lookout is a very responsible position. Lives depend on it. It was no wonder his tiny raccoon teeth were chattering.

Rocky looked to his right and saw Quickpaw and Dempsey approaching the cabin. All seemed clear. He looked left and watched the fish van winding its way slowly along the road. “Right on cue,” he muttered. “Let the action begin.”

Quickpaw went first, darting across the no-man’s-land of McCluskey’s garden and under the wooden veranda. He beckoned to Dempsey. So far so good, sighed Rocky from above. Now get that hammock. He needn’t have worried. Quickpaw had already made a start, gnawing at the rope that was holding the hammock up. Dempsey started at the opposite end, holding the rope in his tiny hands, his razor teeth chewing frantically. The raccoons were halfway through the ropes when the door creaked open and McCluskey appeared, a beer can in his hand. The raccoons scuttled out of the way while the rather large man stretched and supped the rest of his beer. He crumpled his empty can and threw it into the garden. Rocky heard the massive belch from his treetop-lookout position. Crikey!

Quickpaw peered up at the man. No way, he thought as McCluskey moved towards the hammock. You can’t lie there. We need it for our project!

McCluskey stood and scratched a while, contemplating how he would attack the hammock. Getting in was always a bit tricky. He decided that one big lunge would do it. Rocky gulped as he watched the man leap into his hammock. The half-chewed ropes snapped and McCluskey fell to the floor with a thump. “What the—” he began, climbing to his feet and examining the ropes. “Someone’s sabotaged my hammock!” Suspecting a practical joke by his son, Mr McCluskey stormed inside. Dempsey and Quickpaw heard furious yelling and a big slap as they leaped on to the porch and clutched the hammock in their tiny paws.

Perfect, thought Rocky from on high. He glanced left and saw the fish van pulling up at Max’s store. The driver was getting out and going to see Max. To his right there were two raccoons sprinting for their lives, a hammock trailing behind and a line of clothes trailing even further.

The Sunshine Cub had waited patiently. He’d burrowed underneath Max’s shop and his beady eyes shone with excitement. The keys, he sniffed. My mission is to get those keys. So, as the driver temporarily left his van, Sunshine was straight in. He dived through the open window and stared at the buttons and levers. Wow! he thought. Gadgets! This is so cool. He sniffed the fishy smell coming from the back of the van and it brought him to his senses. His little raccoon fingers clasped the key. He twisted. Nothing. It’s stuck. He could hear shouting from the McCluskeys’ house. He could see Max and the van driver chatting in the shop. Sunshine twisted again, pulling at the same time, and the keys came away in his paw. The light-fingered raccoon crept out of the driver’s window, leaped on to the windscreen and up on to the top of the van. He waved to Rocky in the lookout tree, the keys glinting in the sun. Now for the tricky bit. Sunshine shimmied down the opposite side of the van and clung on to the back door. His other hand fumbled for the key and tried to fit it into the lock.

Rocky had seen enough. It wasn’t looking good. McCluskey and his son had spotted the missing hammock and were striding after the raccoons. From what he could see, McCluskey was waving a baseball bat and shouting some rather nasty things. Even worse, Max and the van driver had finished chatting and were making towards the van! I’d better go and help, he thought, his panic turning a downward climb into a fall.

Quickpaw and Dempsey knew they didn’t have much time. They arrived at the van just as Sunshine had unlocked the back door and swung it open. “Ta-da,” he bragged, revealing more fish than the team had ever imagined. The hammock was laid flat and Quickpaw and Dempsey set to work. Quickpaw was inside the van, tossing fish out; Dempsey was catching them and laying them on the hammock. “Quickly, quickly,” shouted Rocky, panting after his run. “They’re coming! Too late,” he squealed as Max looked up and saw the team at work.

“No way!” shouted the shopkeeper. “Pesky varmints stole my money and now they’re thieving my fish!”

“And my new hammock!” yelled McCluskey, breaking into a trot.

Rocky’s panic had gone into overdrive. He leaped up and down, his screeching loud enough to be heard by the whole town. The hammock was only half full, but they could wait no longer. Dempsey and Quickpaw tugged with their claws and started to drag their catch into the forest. A whole winter’s supply was heavy going!