A Marriage In The Making

On his side? What was this—a war? Well, if sides were to be taken she would always lean Josh’s way. A child needed protecting. Josh was afraid of his father and there had to be good reason. Sure, she’d co-operate but Josh would always come first with her.

‘When do you intend taking him?’ Karis asked tentatively.

She wouldn’t be able to bear it but she had known it had to happen at some time in the child’s life. A year was too long to have cared for the boy, with no parental support. Every waking hour had been spent with him and Tara. She knew him as well as her own daughter.

‘Sooner rather than later. Simone isn’t fond of the Tropics.’

Had Karis just heard right? She stared at him in dismay. If this was cooperation she was out of it already. ‘I don’t think your wife is the first consideration here,’ she managed to get out. ‘I think—’

‘Simone is not my wife yet and you are not employed to think further than the care of my son,’ he retaliated quickly.

A mysterious surge of relief rushed at her at the news that Simone wasn’t Josh’s stepmother yet, not Daniel’s wife either. But anger was in hot pursuit, bringing a flush of defensive words from her mouth for what he had just said.

‘Just a minute, Mr Kennedy. That isn’t fair. Yes, I’m employed to care for Josh and, as you must know, it hasn’t been easy. You turn up here, out of the blue, expecting your son to run to you with open arms and then wanting to whisk him out of a settled life because your lady doesn’t like the Tropics. What about Josh’s feelings in all this?’

‘That’s enough!’ he ordered thickly.

‘Oh, no, it isn’t nearly enough!’ Karis went on determinedly. ‘Child psychology obviously isn’t your forte; as for being a father, you are even less qualified. None of this can be rushed. Josh’s feelings must always come first. I might not have any official qualifications to look after children, Mr Kennedy, but I sure as hell know how to love them.’

In a fury she crumpled Josh’s towel into her fist and stormed away from him, bare feet grinding so hard into the sand that they were hot and raw by the time she reached the gardens.

Regret for her outburst washed over her as soon as she stepped into the kitchen of the cottage to find a subdued Josh munching a biscuit at the kitchen table. She wanted to cover her face and wish it all away but couldn’t because Josh would know something was wrong.

She hadn’t any right to speak to Daniel Kennedy that way and she was deeply ashamed of her outburst now. After all, he was the boy’s father and nothing in the world could change that. She shouldn’t be fighting him, she thought remorsefully, she should be co-operating as he had suggested because little Josh’s welfare and future were all that mattered. Trouble was, he made her so mad, stepping back into his son’s life and expecting so much, so soon, and treating her with such disdain when he hadn’t even given her a chance to show him how good she had been for his son.

She took a deep breath of new resolve. This little boy mattered, not her feelings. ‘I’ve been talking to your father and he was thrilled with your dive, Josh. He said—’

A shadow darkened the doorway and Karis turned, expecting it to be Saffron with Tara, but it wasn’t; it was the devil himself and on sight of him her skin prickled warily.

He spoke and this time he didn’t shout or sound angry. He actually sounded quite pleasant. ‘I said I wished Karis would teach me to dive too because I’ve never quite been able to do it. She said she wasn’t sure so I thought I’d ask you. Do you think she should give me lessons, Josh?’

Josh stared hard at his biscuit, not able to raise his eyes to his father. Karis held her breath, watching the poor boy struggling with some sort of inner conflict he obviously couldn’t cope with.

Karis glanced back at Daniel leaning in the doorway. Their eyes met and locked in mutual understanding and Karis was pleasantly surprised that his had softened considerably, as if he was sorry for being so sharp and censorious with her. He was trying; that was something at least. For Josh’s sake of course she would meet him halfway, but only for Josh’s sake.

She broke the eye contact first and went to the fridge for drinks for everyone. ‘I’ve thought about it, Josh, and think it’s a good idea. We could teach him together because you are so good at it now.’ She laughed, trying to make fun of it all. ‘But I bet he’s rotten at it. Should be good for a laugh at least.’

Josh didn’t think the idea at all amusing. To Karis’s horror he flung the half-nibbled biscuit down and flew from the kitchen, out of the door opposite the one his father was leaning in. Karis closed her eyes in sufferance and said nothing till they heard the slam of a door on the other side of the cottage. His bedroom door, as Karis knew of old.

‘You’ll have to give him time,’ she murmured, fully expecting Daniel to fling some sort of accusation at her for Josh’s negative action. To her surprise he seemed to sag in defeat and sat down in the cane chair Josh had so rapidly vacated.

For a moment Karis felt a wave of sympathy for him. So far he had received one rejection after another from his son.

‘A drink?’ she offered, and started pouring juice from the fridge anyway when he didn’t reply. She wasn’t sure what to follow her query with. There was something so deep and emotional between these two that she wondered if they would ever come out of it father and son again.

‘Is he always like this?’ he asked at last. ‘Still so sullen, unresponsive and hating the world?’ He acknowledged the drink Karis put before him with a nod of his dark head.

Karis leaned on the fridge and sipped her drink, watching him from under her thick lashes. ‘With everyone but me. He warms to Saffron too but not to the degree he trusts me,’ she told him truthfully.

He looked up at her but Karis couldn’t read his expression. It was beyond her. She almost wished she hadn’t made the admission. If he had any feeling for Josh it must have hurt to hear that his son cared more for a stranger than himself, his own father.

‘I’m sorry if that sounded as if I’m the only one that matters to him but the truth is I fear I am,’ she told him. She let out a small sigh. ‘He’s difficult and it’s been a battle. I nearly didn’t stay when I first met him, but I think…’ Her voice cracked as she thought about all the traumas she and Josh had faced together and overcome and what state the boy would be in now if she had rejected him from the off as all the others had done.

‘Go on,’ Daniel urged abruptly.

His tone said he was hurt and she went on quickly, ‘I felt so sorry for him when I arrived. I had a child of my own and I wouldn’t want Tara pushed from pillar to post and that’s what has happened to him.’

His eyes narrowed painfully. ‘Do you think I wouldn’t have done it any other way if I thought it would have helped? I’ve paid for the best care for him,’ Daniel responded flintily.

‘I’m sure you have,’ Karis relented wearily. But the best care in terms of wages paid wasn’t nearly enough for Josh. She sighed and went to the table to sit across from him. ‘Mr Kennedy, I don’t know your circumstances and I don’t want to pry. I don’t know you and you don’t know me. I understand how you feel, finding someone with no qualifications caring for your son, but Fiesta was right. Everyone else gave him up as a bad job and—’

‘So why did you stay?’

‘I’ve told you, my heart went out to him,’ she admitted softly. ‘I couldn’t forsake him before giving him a chance. I suppose it made a difference that I was a mother and could relate to him. If that was my own daughter in those circumstances I would want someone to help her and not give up on her because she was so troubled. It did help being a mother myself.’

‘And, from what Fiesta says, a mother with nowhere else to go and very eager for this job in paradise,’ he said disparagingly.

Karis stiffened, her heart tightening at the truth of that. She remembered being evasive with Fiesta over her personal circumstances when she had applied for the job. Silly really, withholding her background when her very background was so important for the job. But she had been desperate to get away at the time and unable to think clearly and had just hoped that her eagerness to take on the care of the little boy would be enough for Fiesta.

It had as it happened but the fact that Fiesta had taken her on without delving too deeply into her past should have acted as a warning flare, and of course on meeting the irascible young boy she had understood why. Fiesta had been as desperate to sign her up as she had been to start a new life.

Karis shrugged away her hurt. ‘That’s true,’ she conceded quietly. ‘I was more than glad of the job for reasons that are my own but I’m not lying when I tell you I felt drawn to your son. Everyone else had forsaken him and—’

‘And so you keep saying,’ he interrupted wearily, and suddenly got to his feet. ‘The world had rejected him and you were his saviour. What do you want—a damned medal?’ he breathed, on the edge of anger now.

Shocked, Karis stared at him, her lips white. Why was this man being so cruel? Why was he always so angry?

Suddenly he let out a long sigh and raked his dark hair from his brow. ‘I’m sorry,’ he breathed roughly, impatient with himself more than her, she sensed. ‘Of course you don’t expect a medal. Look, this isn’t going to be easy and I’m fully aware of the problems ahead. I want my son with me now. You have a special bond with him and…and…’ His voice faltered slightly but he recovered quickly. ‘I need your help,’ he finished quietly.

Karis licked her dry lips at his plaintive request. It stabbed painfully at her emotions.

‘Insulting me is going a funny way about enlisting my help, Mr Kennedy,’ she said slowly and deliberately. ‘I’ve done my very best for Josh and you’re right, I don’t want a medal; I don’t even want your praise or your thanks. It’s enough for me that he hugs me tightly when he says goodnight, it’s enough that he trusts me. All I’m concerned about is Josh’s future—the one you are preparing to offer him.’

Slowly Karis got up from the table and faced him. She really had nothing to lose by baring her thoughts and feelings to him. Very shortly her job here on the island would be over and done with. She dared not even think of her own circumstances when that day came because Josh filled her mind at the moment.

‘I know I’m speaking out of turn here,’ she started, ‘and I apologise up front, but this needs to be said before we go any further. With your attitude I doubt if your son will have a very happy future. He needs care and attention and time and love and from what I’ve seen of you and your fiancée I doubt you could rustle up a fraction of any one of them.’

There, it was out, exactly how she felt about him and that awful Simone.

He was leaning back against the work surface, his arms folded across his chest, and looking at her with eyes narrowed warningly. But Karis wasn’t put off. She had more to say and concern and love for Josh made her brave enough to say it. ‘All I’ve seen of you so far is a broody menace where I’m concerned, Mr Kennedy. I don’t know why you attack me so when you have seen for yourself Josh is well cared for. I’m doing my best and I always have done and Josh has responded to my love and caring. If I didn’t think the idea ridiculous I’d take it that you were….’ Her voice suddenly went as if it had been switched off.

And then Karis knew. It swept over her, all-enveloping, all depressingly sad. She saw it all now—his attitude problem, his abrasive reaction towards her starting from the time he had stepped ashore and seen that she, a supposedly wild and unkempt teenager, held his son’s love and trust in her hand. It must have torn through him like a serrated knife.

‘Jealous,’ he finished for her, in a tone that was dull and weighted.

Karis lowered her lashes. Her heart was thudding at his being brave enough to make such an admission. ‘I’m sorry,’ she murmured faintly. ‘I didn’t really understand at first and then, just now, I couldn’t even say it because it’s so awful.’ She lifted her face and looked at him, her eyes wide and apologetic. ‘You are jealous of me because Josh loves and trust me, aren’t you?’ she whispered.

‘Yes,’ he admitted. His hand came up and tore through his hair as if that admission had taken the strength out of him. ‘In the short time I’ve seen you both I can see how you are together,’ he went on roughly. ‘Yes, I’m jealous of the hold you have over my son.’