LAST RITES

He said nothing.

‘Or perhaps I just want normal things,’ Sarah continued. ‘Like hoping I meet someone I love and settle down, have a happy home. What's wrong with that?’

‘Cowardly,’ he said. ‘Everyone has a darker side. Feed it, grow it.’

‘And what are your morals?’ Sarah asked as she turned back around. ‘What sick things do you dream of?’

He gestured around the room. ‘I dream of this. Of you, in here, my butterfly fastened by the wings. And of this,’ and then he turned and dragged something into the room. Sarah saw that it was a camp bed. ‘I feel like showing you a kindness. There is no trick. This is just how I feel today.’

Sarah looked at the bed. She craved the bed. She saw a blanket on top. Maybe if she could get in, she could drown out the noise and get some warmth. She closed her eyes as they became filled with tears. She had wanted to be strong, but she had more basic needs.

‘You have seen what I can do,’ he continued. ‘I will follow my emotions. You have to make me want to be kind, if that is how you want me to be.’

‘And if I make you feel different? If you don't feel kind?’

‘I'll just follow my feelings,’ he said, his voice sinister, and when Sarah swallowed, he added, ‘and my imagination.’

‘I'll do as I'm told,’ Sarah whispered.

He dragged the bed further into the middle of the room and unfolded the blanket.

‘Can I have my clothes?’ she asked.

‘Do as you are told and be rewarded,’ he whispered. And then, as Sarah climbed under the blanket, grateful for the warmth, he slipped out of the room.

The noise of the heartbeat returned, but it seemed more bearable now.

Chapter Eighteen (#ulink_ef446251-ff2d-57c8-a37c-751bb29fcdda)

I had been sitting in my car for nearly an hour before I saw Katie walking up the hill to her house. It was steep, and so she didn't see me until she reached her front door, her head down as she climbed.

She had looked deep in thought, but brightened when I stepped out of the car.

‘Mr Garrett,’ she said coyly. ‘Do you have some more questions?’

‘You're too perceptive,’ I replied, playing along. ‘Is that okay?’

‘Depends on the questions,’ she said, and she smiled.

I glanced towards the door. ‘Shouldn't we go inside?’

She considered that for a moment, and then reached for her keys. ‘Follow me,’ she said.

As I went in, I noticed different things to our first meeting. The house seemed quieter, like it had become used to silence. The wind chimes in the hall tinkled like broken glass as we entered, but they sounded too loud. I noticed the smell this time. It was bleach, cleaning fluids, a touch of fresh paint. I glanced into the living room, tried to get an impression of Sarah, but Katie went straight into the back room again, dumped her bag onto the sofa and sat down with a sigh. ‘What do you want to know?’

‘You mentioned letters,’ I said bluntly.

She pulled off her shoes. ‘Did I?’

‘You know you did. Yesterday. It was the last thing you mentioned before you walked away.’

‘I can't say anything,’ she said eventually. ‘I told you that too.’

‘So why did you mention them?’

Katie smiled at me. ‘You look sweet when you get all serious.’

‘I might get really sweet soon then,’ I replied. ‘Why can't you say anything?’

‘DCI Carson,’ she said, the words coming out with a grimace. I guessed that she hadn't been impressed. Laura had told me all about him the night before.

‘I'm not asking for a copy of the letters, but just tell me what was in them,’ I said.

Katie played with her hair, just teasing it around her ear. ‘I can't. I'll get into trouble. And I'll get you into trouble.’

‘Don't worry about me,’ I said. ‘Knowing a secret isn't a crime. And I would protect my source. All journalists would.’

I let the silence hang there, hoping Katie would say something, but she stayed quiet.

The silence became too long, so I said, ‘Okay, I get the message. Pass on my congratulations to DCI Carson. He's got an obedient student.’

‘Come and see me later,’ said Katie quickly.

‘Why?’

‘About the letters.’

‘Why not now?’

‘Because if you want something from me, it will be on my terms. And I don't want to talk yet.’

‘So it has to be later?’

Katie nodded. ‘Come here for six. We'll talk then.’

I looked at her, hoping that she might change her mind, wondered how I would explain it to Laura, but Katie just smiled at me.

‘Later it is, then,’ I said, and started to walk towards the door.

‘Jack!’ she shouted out.

I turned around.

‘I'll look forward to it,’ she said, and then she giggled.

I turned and left the house, and as the door closed I looked down at my hands. They were shaking.

But it wasn't just the story, I knew that. Katie intrigued me. Maybe it was just the looks, but I knew that it was something else too: that she thought she was in charge, that she had something I wanted.