Photo-Finish

‘Her kind are.’

Troy said, ‘I’m going to leave you to Rory. I think this calls for male-chauvinist gossip.’

When she had gone, Rupert began apologizing again. What, he asked, would Mrs Alleyn think of him?

‘Don’t start worrying about that,’ Alleyn said. ‘She’s sorry, she’s not shocked and she’s certainly not bored. And I think she may be right. However unpleasant it may be, I think perhaps you should refuse. But I’m afraid it’s got to be your decision and nobody else’s.’

‘Yes, but you see you don’t know the worst of it. I couldn’t bring it out with Mrs Alleyn here. I – Isabella – we – ‘

‘Good Lord, my dear chap – ‘ Alleyn began and then pulled himself up. ‘You’re lovers, aren’t you?’ he said.

‘If you can call it that,’ he muttered.

‘And you think if you take this stand against her you’ll lose her? That it?’

‘Not exactly –I mean, yes, of course, I suppose she’d kick me out.’

‘Would that be such a very bad thing?’

‘It’d be a bloody good thing,’ he burst out.

‘Well, then – ‘

‘I can’t expect you to understand. I don’t understand myself. At first it was marvellous: magical. I felt equal to anything. Way up. Out of this world. To hear her sing, to stand at the back of the theatre and see two thousand people go mad about her and to know that for me it didn’t end with the curtain calls and flowers and ovations but that for me the best was still to come. Talk about the crest of the wave – gosh, it was super.’

‘I can imagine.’

‘And then, after that – you know – that moment of truth about the opera, the whole picture changed. You could say that the same thing happened about her. I saw all at once what she really is like and that she only approved of that bloody fiasco because she saw herself making a success in it and that she ought never, never to have given me the encouragement she did. And I knew she had no real musical judgement and that I was lost.’

‘All the more reason – ‘ Alleyn began and was shouted down.

‘You can’t tell me anything I don’t know. But I was in it. Up to my eyes. Presents – like this thing, this cigarette case. Clothes, even. A fantastic salary. At first I was so far gone in –I suppose you could call it – rapture, that it didn’t seem degrading. And now, in spite of seeing it all as it really is, I can’t get out. I can’t.’