He was telling the truth.
She may not have seen him for six years but she’d never forget the way she could always read his moods by the blue flecks in his eyes.
Indigo indicated happiness—the kind of intense, spontaneous happiness they’d had for twelve all-too-brief weeks.
Cobalt indicated honesty—she’d believed him when he’d said she was the only girl for him, that they’d always be together, that he’d love her for ever.
Deep smoky-gentian meant passion—the mind-blowing, unforgettable, once-in-a-lifetime connection they’d shared.
Oh, yeah, she could remember each and every shade of those flecks, had lost herself in those grey depths for three blissful months. Until he’d walked away.
So what if those flecks glowed cobalt now? Did his honesty count for anything when he hadn’t been able to face her with the truth before leaving?
Hating the surge of emotion making her tummy gripe, she stepped back, forcing him to release his hold on her elbow and instantly missing the contact.
Irrational, stupid and crazy, but her body had softened under his touch, had leaned towards him, recognising on some subconscious level the one guy to ever know her intimately. And by the strange heat seeping through her muscles, her traitorous body was rejoicing despite the hard-learned lesson that he couldn’t be trusted.
‘You came to see me? Well, here I am. Now that you’ve seen me, why don’t you leave?’
He smiled, and she struggled not to gasp at the impact, her pulse doing a familiar tango through her veins.
‘You can’t get rid of me that easily.’
‘Could’ve fooled me,’ she snapped, mentally clapping one hand over her mouth while slapping herself upside the head with the other.
An emotional outburst like that would suggest she still cared—which she didn’t, she couldn’t—and the last thing she needed was him hanging around trying to rehash the past.
To her chagrin he laughed, a rich, natural sound that warmed her better than any cappuccino she’d ever drunk. And she’d drunk the equivalent of a year’s supply of Brazil beans after he’d left, to recapture half the heat he used to make her feel.
‘Guess I deserved that.’
‘And the rest.’
The laugh-lines around his eyes deepened. ‘Go ahead. Get it all out of your system.’
‘Don’t tempt me.’
She toyed with the keys, torn between the urge to take him up on his offer and tell him how heartbroken she’d been, how she’d searched for him for a year, how she hadn’t let another guy close because of him and the emotional fallout from their intense relationship—and booting him out the door and never giving him another thought.
‘Cam, I know you don’t want to kick me out.’
Great, he could still read her mind, could hone in on how she was feeling, and there was something about the way he looked at her, as if he could see right down to her soul and knew better than she did that the last thing she wanted to do was kick him out.
For as much as she wanted him to walk right back out that door and never come back—he was good at that—a huge part of her clamoured to know where he’d been, what he’d been doing and why he’d ripped their perfect world apart.
‘You don’t know what I want anymore,’ she said, hating the flare of hurt in his eyes and how much her heart ached in response.
‘I’d like to.’
His intent was clear, and she inhaled sharply, his poignantly familiar, fresh outdoorsy scent reminiscent of crushed cedar leaves in a spring shower, the tantalising trace filling her nose, her lungs, making her want to lean into the soft, sensitive spot under his jaw and nuzzle him as she used to.
Ignoring the incredible yearning to do just that, she rattled the keys.
‘I’m closing up.’
He raised an eyebrow and glanced at the lights she’d dimmed. ‘I can see that, but we really need to talk.’
‘Actually, we don’t.’
Because if she let him talk, let him explain why he’d run out on her all those years ago, she’d be compelled to relive the pain, and there was no way she’d go through that heart-break again.
She’d built a new life in the years since he’d split, a better life, an independent life where she didn’t need anything or anyone, and she’d like to keep it that way.
Leaning forward, he touched her cheek, the calluses on his finger-pads rasping against her skin and sending a tiny shiver of longing through her.
She remembered all too well how those work-roughened hands felt caressing her body, how gentle yet arousing they could be. How they used to circle her waist, lift her up and spin her around till she was dizzy with the motion and the sheer joy of being with him. How strong and sure they’d been, stroking her that very first time, initiating her into pleasures she’d only ever dreamed about.
‘I won’t take no for an answer.’
His fingertips lingered an exquisite moment longer before he dropped his hand.
Shaking her head, she bit back the urge to laugh. There was nothing remotely funny about having the man she’d once loved badger her after all this time, but the young, impulsive guy she’d known back then had never been this determined, this stubborn.
‘One coffee then you’re out of here. Take it or leave it.’
‘I’ll take it.’
‘Fine. Choose your poison and make it snappy.’
He grinned as he rocked back on his heels, hands thrust into pockets, confident he’d wear her down.
As if.
‘You sure have a way with customers.’
‘You’re not a customer, you’re my…’ She trailed off, not wanting to go there. She’d shut the door on the past, why open it and risk the future she’d worked so hard to build?
‘Go on, say it. I’m your?’
‘You know,’ she bit out, sending him a withering glare that made little impact if his widening grin was any indication. ‘You better order that coffee before I renege and bundle you out of here right this very minute.’
He chuckled, and rather than it riling her, she could barely clamp down on the urge to join in.
He’d always done this: made her laugh, made her see the lighter side of any situation—a genuine glass-half-full kind of guy. She’d loved that about him. She’d loved many things about him, which had made it all the harder to get over him.
Gritting her teeth, she prompted again, ‘Coffee?’
‘The usual, please.’