Anniversarian. A play for 2 people. Comedy

A message sound is heard. Philemon clicks "listen".

Voice message (water noise, hum, fuss is heard). Filimon Ekimych, hello. This is Olya. You've probably already lost us. I'm sorry, we didn't think to tell you right away. We have a force majeure situation here. The water broke. We're all running around with rags, trying to prevent a flood. After all, the house is for two owners, the same ones were built so that they would be next to each other all their lives, there was only one water supply. Now we're all in a bunch. Lena sends her regards, and our men are trying to patch something in the underground. I don't know what they can do there now, I think they will have to call the services. We're all dirty, wet. We don't know what to do. We can't come. When the men are free, they will call you. Such things.

Philemon. Well, that, you know… It just doesn't fit in any gate anymore! I understand everything, there are coincidences in life, a series of failures, accidents… But to do it all at once! One day the world came together like a wedge, and even on me! What for? So that no one can come here? What are the tricks of Fate? For what? Why?

Yes, the twin brothers, indeed, have dreamed of building a house for two families since childhood. There is a partition, but, in fact, there is only one house, and, of course, if they have problems around the house, then these are common problems. The plumbing is old, it should have been changed a long time ago. It blew up after all… No luck. But they were lucky with their wives. Both Olya and Lena are very good women. This is the main thing, and everything else is the little things of life.

Philemon removes four more plates from the table.

Philemon. It remains to wait for the Parasite Earring with its Stutter. The three of us will get the whole table. But that's when. And now…

He pours himself a shot glass. He raises it.

Philemon. Be healthy, Filimon Ekimych! Happy anniversary!

He drinks. He sits down at the table, gets ready to eat.

The doorbell rings!

Scene 2

Ivy enters, looking very defiant.

Ivy. Hello, kitty.

Philemon. And… I… this… Hi. You must be a Bunny