Marrying Mom

Marrying Mom
Olivia Goldsmith

A wickedly funny comedy of New York life and love, from the bestselling author of The First Wives Club and Bestseller.She’s the despair of her family, she tries to run their lives, and she just won’t act her age. In fact there’s only one way to get Mom out of her children’s hair…When Phyllis Geronomous decides that retirement in Florida is not for her and moves back to the Big Apple, her three grown-up children are horrified. Sigourney is a successful stockbroker and a control freak, Sharon has two young children and a troubled marriage, while Bruce, the baby of the family, is finally feeling comfortable about having a significant other called Todd. They just can’t let crazy Phyllis ruin their lives all over again. Murder is out – purely for practical reasons. Only Sigourney has the ideal solution: they’ll marry Mom off, and then she’ll be someone else’s problem. But where are they going to find a deaf, dumb, old, blind, and, above all, rich groom?

OLIVIA GOLDSMITH

MARRYING MOM

Copyright (#ulink_64d14acc-3b40-57e3-a0da-e975bde2d665)

HarperCollinsPublishers

1 London Bridge Street

London SE1 9GF

www.harpercollins.co.uk (http://www.harpercollins.co.uk)

This edition 1998

Special overseas edition 1997

First published in Great Britain by HarperCollinsPublishers 1997

First published in the USA by HarperCollinsPublishers 1997

Copyright © Olivia Goldsmith 1997.

Olivia Goldsmith asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work

A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library

This novel is entirely a work of fiction. The names, characters and incidents portrayed in it are the work of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or localities is entirely coincidental.

All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the nonexclusive, nontransferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse-engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books.

Source ISBN: 9780006499886

Ebook Edition © MAY 2015 ISBN: 9780062424082

Version: 2015-10-28

Praise for Olivia Goldsmith: (#ulink_2ae63511-a930-5a56-927f-1ceba9f9967d)

Marrying Mom

‘What a great feeling to fall into the capable hands of Olivia Goldsmith. The author of The First Wives Club and Bestseller always serves up believable characters in slightly outlandish situations in a mixture that makes highly entertaining reading … The resulting romantic twists and turns are funny, but better still is Goldsmith’s sharp portrait of the maddening but lovable Phyllis … All pop novels ought to be as hard to put down as Marrying Mom.’

People

‘Witty … full of funny New York moments and read-for-the-big-screen charm … Perfect comic relief.’

New York Daily News

Bestseller

‘Extremely satisfying.’ The New York Times Book Review

‘Like Jane Austen dealing blackjack … you keep licking your fingers and reaching for the next page as if it were another potato chip.’

Newsweek

Dedication (#ulink_af10728c-c41f-5125-b29e-a17b0498d555)

To Nan, with abiding affection.

We’ll always have Paris.

Epigraph (#ulink_02333841-5498-5afa-adf0-65d4642035df)

“Old age is woman’s hell.”

—Ninon de Lenclos

Thanks to: (#ulink_2caa1e2a-ea3d-5eb8-8eac-e001321aa844)

Paul Smith for putting up with an insane schedule, and for giving me the house of my dreams.

Jim and Christopher Robinson for their understanding and sacrifice on behalf of this book.

Linda Grady, as fine a reader as she is a friend and writer.

Barbara Turner for her love, humor, and for giving me this plot in the first place. (Don’t sue, sis.)

Paul Mahon because of all those trips to Montana, Ireland, Michigan, and the rest. Lucky I don’t depend on you.

Jerry Young for never putting me on hold. What are you wearing, Jerry?

Sherry Lansing for sharing my vision, telling me jokes, and turning this book into a film.

Aida Mora for keeping me supplied with endless Diet Cokes and making things homey.

Allen Kirstein for encouragement when I needed it the most.

John Yunis for tempting me to look better than I ever have.

Flex (a.k.a. Angelo) for the streaks and blow job.

Gail Parent, whom I can’t live without.