Almost Gone

He’d started hitting her when she was twelve, after Jacqui, her older sister, had run away. Before that, Jacqui had borne the brunt of his anger. Her presence had protected Cassie from the worst.

The bruises from Zane were still there; it would take a while for them to fade. She was wearing long sleeves to hide them during the interview, and was overly warm in the stuffy office.

“Is there anywhere else you could recommend?” she asked Maureen. “I know this is the best local agency, but would you be able to suggest an online site where I could possibly apply?”

“I can’t recommend a website,” Maureen said firmly. “Too many candidates have had bad experiences. Some have ended up in a situation where their working hours weren’t adhered to, or they were expected to do menial cleaning jobs as well as mind the children. That’s unfair on everyone concerned. I’ve also heard of au pairs being abused in other ways. So, no.”

“Please—is there anybody on your books who might consider me? I’m a hard worker and willing to learn, I can easily fit in. Please give me a chance.”

Maureen was silent for a moment, then tapped at her keyboard, frowning.

“Your family—how do they feel about you traveling for a year? Do you have a boyfriend, anyone you’re leaving behind?”

“I broke up with my boyfriend recently. And I’ve always been very independent, my family knows that.”

Zane had cried and apologized after he’d punched her arm, but she hadn’t relented, thinking instead of her sister’s warning, given long ago and proven true since then: “No man ever hits a woman once.”

She’d packed her bags and moved in with a friend. To avoid him, she’d blocked his calls and changed the timing of her work shifts. She had hoped he would accept her decision and leave her alone, while knowing deep down that he would not. Breaking up should have been his idea, not hers. His ego would not allow for rejection.

He’d already been to the restaurant looking for her. The manager had told him she had taken two weeks’ leave and gone to Florida. That had bought her some time… but she knew he’d be counting the days. A week to go, and he’d be hunting her again.

The US felt too small to escape him. She wanted an ocean—a big one—between them. Because worst of all was the fear that she would weaken, forgive him, and allow him another chance.

Maureen finished checking the paperwork and went on to ask a few standard questions that Cassie found easier. Her hobbies, any chronic medications, dietary requirements or allergies.

“I have no dietary requirements or allergies. And no health problems.”

Cassie hoped her anxiety meds didn’t count as chronic medication. It would be better not to mention them, she decided, as she was sure they would be a huge red flag.

Maureen scribbled a note on the file.

Then she asked, “What would you do if the children in your care are naughty or disobedient? How would you handle it?”

Cassie drew a deep breath.

“Well, I don’t think there’s a one-size-fits-all answer. If a child is disobedient because she’s running toward a dangerous road, it would require a different approach than if she doesn’t want to eat her vegetables. In the first instance it would be safety first and getting the child out of harm’s way as quickly as possible. In the second I would reason and negotiate—why don’t you like them? Is it the look or the taste? Will you be willing to try a bite? After all, we all go through food phases and usually grow out of them.”

Maureen seemed satisfied with that, but the next questions were more difficult.

“What will you do if the children lie to you? For instance, if they tell you they’re allowed to do something that the parents have forbidden?”

“I’d say that it’s not allowed, and tell them the reason why if I knew it. I’d suggest we speak to the parents together and discuss the rule as a family, to help them understand why it’s important.” Cassie felt as if she were walking a tightrope, hoping that her answers were acceptable.

“How would you react, Cassie, if you witnessed a domestic fight? Living in a family’s home, there will be times when people don’t get along.”

Cassie closed her eyes for a moment, pushing away the memories triggered by Maureen’s words. Screaming, smashing glass, the neighbors shouting angrily. A chair wedged under the rattling handle of her bedroom door, the only flimsy protection she could find.

But just as she was about to say she’d lock herself and the kids in a secure room and call the police immediately, Cassie realized Maureen couldn’t be referring to that kind of a fight. Why would she? She was obviously thinking of a spoken argument, a few words snapped in annoyance or shouted in anger; temporary friction rather than terminal destruction.

“I would try to keep the children out of earshot,” she said, choosing her words carefully. “And I would respect the parents’ privacy and stay well away. After all, fights are part of life and an au pair has no right to take sides or become involved.”

Now, finally, she earned a small smile.

“A good answer,” Maureen said. She checked her computer again and nodded, as if confirming a decision she’d just made.

“There is only one possibility here that I could offer you. A position with a French family,” she said, and Cassie’s heart leaped, only to crash-land when Maureen added, “Their last au pair left unexpectedly after a month, and they’ve had difficulty finding a replacement.”

Cassie bit her lip. Whether the au pair had resigned or been fired, she didn’t know—but she couldn’t afford to have the same happen to her. With the agency fee and the airfare, she’d be plowing all her savings into this venture. Whatever it took, she would have to make it work.

Maureen added, “They are a wealthy family with a beautiful home. Not in town. It’s a mansion in the countryside, on a large estate. There’s an orchard and a small vineyard—not commercial—and also horses, although equestrian knowledge is not a job requirement. However, you’ll have the opportunity to learn to ride when you’re there if you like.”

“I’d love that,” Cassie said. The appeal of the French countryside, and the promise of horses, made the risk seem more worthwhile. And a wealthy family surely meant better job security. Perhaps the last au pair hadn’t been willing to try.

Maureen adjusted her glasses before jotting a note on Cassie’s form.

“Now, I must emphasize that not all families are easy to work for. Some are very challenging and some are downright difficult. The success of the job will rest on your shoulders.”

“I’ll do my best to succeed.”

“Quitting an assignment before your year is over is not acceptable. It will incur a substantial cancellation fee and you will never work for us again. The details are stipulated in the contract.” Maureen tapped her pen on the page.

“I can’t see that happening,” Cassie replied determinedly.

“Good. Then the final point we need to discuss is the timeframe.”

“Yes. How soon will I leave?” Cassie asked, her anxiety flooding back as she wondered how much longer she’d need to duck and dive.

“It usually takes about six weeks, but this family’s application is very urgent so we are going to fast-track it. If things move along as expected, you will fly out within a week. Is that acceptable?”

“It—it’s perfect,” she stammered. “Please, I accept the position. I’ll do whatever it takes to make it work, and I won’t let you down.”

The woman stared back at her long and hard, as if summing her up one last time.

“Don’t,” she said.

CHAPTER TWO

Airports were all about goodbyes, Cassie thought. Rushed farewells, the impersonal environment robbing you of the words you really wanted to say, and the time to say them properly.

She’d insisted that the girlfriend who’d given her a ride to the airport drop her off rather than come in with her. A hug before jumping out of the car was quick and easy. Better than expensive coffee and awkward conversation, drying up as departure time drew closer. After all, she was traveling alone, leaving everyone she knew behind. It made sense to start that journey sooner, rather than later.

As Cassie wheeled the luggage cart into the terminal, she felt a sense of relief at the goals she’d accomplished so far. She’d gotten the assignment—the most important goal of all. She’d paid the flight and the agency fee, her visa had been fast-tracked, and she was on time for check-in. Her belongings were packed according to the list supplied—she was glad for the bright blue backpack she’d been given with the “Maureen’s Au Pairs” logo, because there wouldn’t have been room in her suitcase for all her clothes.

From here on until she landed in Paris, she was sure everything would go smoothly.

And then she stopped in her tracks, her heart hammering, as she saw him.

He was standing near the terminal entrance, with his back to the wall, thumbs hooked into the pockets of the leather jacket she’d given him. His height, his dark, spiky hair, and his aggressive jaw made him easy to spot as he scanned the crowds.