Bachelor Father

To a man who hated waiting for anything, three to five days seemed like an eternity. He wanted the matter resolved. He wanted his daughter to stop fantasizing about having a mother again. Most of all, he wanted peace of mind. Proving Faith the baby rocker was not Christie was going to bring that to him.

CHAPTER FOUR

FAITH LAY AWAKE in her bed, wishing she could stop replaying the conversation she’d had with Adam Novak. She fluffed her pillow and turned over for what had to be the hundredth time, refusing to look at the clock. She didn’t want to know how late it was. Sleep would eventually come. It always did, no matter how troubled her thoughts were. The past few weeks had proven that.

Only, tonight was different from any of the other nights she’d spent at the Carsons’. Her insomnia wasn’t due to the fact that she couldn’t remember her past, but rather the possibility that she could be about to find it. She’d been given a ray of hope that a force existed strong enough to crack the darkness that held her memory in its grasp. And all because of a little girl who’d needed surgery at the hospital.

Megan Novak. The thought of the six-year-old crying for her mommy made her heart ache. She remembered how the girl had begged Faith not to leave her after surgery. At the time Faith had thought she was simply frightened, but now she realized it was more than fear that had Megan reaching out to her.

If Megan were her daughter—and Faith knew that possibility was a slim one—she would find one giant piece of her memory puzzle. Unfortunately she would need a lot more pieces to understand what had happened to cause her to be found far away from the North Shore where Christie had disappeared.

Although Faith hadn’t admitted it to Adam, she knew it was unlikely that she was Megan’s mother. Adam believed that the authorities were right, that there was no way Christie would have survived the boating accident last autumn. It was that very aspect of the situation—the fact that they hadn’t found a body—that gave Faith a spark of hope that she could be the missing woman. Her heart, however, refused to believe that she could ever abandon her own child. As much as she wanted to solve the mystery of her identity, she didn’t want to be the reason why an innocent child like Megan had been forced to suffer such grief.

After much tossing and turning, Faith’s weary body finally succumbed to sleep. She awoke several times, her slumber interrupted by disturbing dreams. At Dr. Carson’s suggestion, she’d placed a pencil and paper next to the bed in the event that she might find clues to her past from the images passing through her mind while she slept, but so far her notepad was empty with the exception of one word. Outcast.

She’d written it down not because of anything she remembered dreaming, but because of the feeling she always had when she awoke—as if she were being excluded from something. Faith questioned whether that feeling was associated with the content of her dreams or if it was simply the result of having no memory of her past. Because her amnesia made her a stranger to her own life, denying her access to people and places, she often felt like an outsider to her own thoughts.

That morning, she was wakened by a dream. This time she could recall the content and quickly reached for her notepad and pencil. She jotted down the words and images flashing through her head. Megan. Baby. Doll. She wrote as fast as she could, but the pictures faded quickly and before she knew it the dream was nothing but a blur.

Eager to talk with Dr. Carson to see if he thought there was any significance to what she had remembered, she scrambled out of bed and hurried downstairs only to find Marie was alone in the kitchen. “Is Avery still asleep?”

“No, he’s gone. He had an appointment early this morning,” Marie answered. “Aren’t you feeling well?”

The question made Faith aware that in her haste to talk to the doctor she hadn’t pulled on her robe and slippers. She stood barefoot in her nightgown, her hair tousled from sleep.

“I had a dream,” Faith said with a sense of urgency. “One that I could remember.” She held up the piece of paper on which she’d jotted her notes. “I thought I should tell him about it…you know, to see if it has any significance.”

“You mean any clues to your past.” Faith nodded and Marie said, “I’m afraid I don’t know as much on the subject of dreams as Avery does, but I’m willing to listen if you want to talk about it.”

Faith did want to talk about it, and since Marie had become her friend, she didn’t hesitate to say, “I’d like that.” Feeling the cold floor beneath her feet, she shifted from one foot to the other.

Marie noticed and said, “Why don’t we go into the living room and I’ll turn on the fireplace? We’ll be much more comfortable there.”

Faith agreed, then followed her into the adjoining room where with the flick of a switch, Marie made gas flames dance in the brick fireplace. Then she reached for a lap robe that had been draped over the back of the love seat and gave it to Faith, motioning for her to take a chair near the hearth. “This should keep you warm.”

Faith tucked her feet beneath her as she sat down, thanking her hostess as she covered herself with the soft woolen robe. “I can’t believe I actually remembered something from a dream.”

Marie took the wingback chair next to her. “It sounds as if you think it may be important.”

“I’m not sure. It really wasn’t much, but I did write down what I could remember when I woke up—just like Avery told me to do. Unfortunately the images faded quickly.”

“Dreams have a way of doing that,” Marie commented, leaning closer to her. “Now tell me about yours.”

She glanced down at the notes on her paper. “I was holding a baby. Actually, I was rocking it.”

“Were you at the child-care center?” Marie asked.

“I’m not sure, but I think I may have been because it’s the only time I rock babies, and Megan Novak was there, too.” She paused, rubbing her fingers across her brow as she struggled to remember more details.

“Go on, dear,” Marie encouraged.

“Megan asked me if she could see the baby, but when I pulled back the blanket, it wasn’t a baby in my arms at all. It was a doll. A faceless doll. And when Megan saw it she began to cry.” She shrugged. “That’s it. That’s all I can remember.”

The look Marie gave her was intent. “No other details? Clothing, furniture, time of day?”

Faith shook her head. “I think Megan wore a hospital gown, but I’m not sure.”

When Marie didn’t say anything for several moments, Faith asked, “Do you think the doll could be a real baby? My baby?”

“And she didn’t have a face because you can’t remember her?” Marie accurately followed the direction of her thoughts.

“It would explain why Megan cries when she sees the doll.”

Marie’s brow wrinkled. “Why do you say that?”

“If Megan is my daughter and the doll represents her as an infant, then it’s only natural that she’d be upset that I don’t remember her,” Faith reasoned.

Marie was quiet for a moment, her eyes thoughtful while she contemplated the possibility. “You might be right,” she finally admitted. “Or it could be that your subconscious is simply trying to sort through everything Adam Novak told you yesterday. After all, you only had this dream after he told you about Megan’s mother.”

Faith nodded pensively, aware that Marie made a valid point. “You’re saying if Adam hadn’t told me about Megan mistaking me for her mother, I might not have had the dream at all.”

Marie’s voice softened as she said, “That’s not what you wanted to hear, is it?”

She shook her head again. “I keep looking for signs….” Faith struggled to keep her disappointment from showing.

Marie reached across to place her hand on Faith’s arm. “I know how difficult it’s been for you these past few weeks. You want answers, but I’m not sure you’re going to find them in your dreams.”

“Then where do I find them?”

“Avery said a simple DNA test would prove whether or not you’re Megan’s mother.”

Faith remembered Avery mentioning a medical test that could be done to determine whether a biological relationship existed between two people. Because she was exhausted both physically and emotionally, she’d had difficulty following his explanation of genetic coding and he’d told her not to worry because they would talk about it again if it was necessary.

“By finding out who you’re not, you’ll at least have one answer,” Marie continued.

Faith nodded, biting on her lower lip as she mulled over what Marie said. “It’ll take a while to get the results.”

“And you’re in a hurry,” Marie stated with an understanding smile. “You want the answer now, don’t you?” When Faith nodded she added, “Maybe you don’t need a DNA test.”

Faith frowned. “What do you mean?”

“You could go straight to Megan Novak. You said last night that her father hadn’t seen her mother recently. Megan, on the other hand, saw her daily. Even if she is only six, she should be able to identify her own mother,” Marie reasoned. She tapped a finger against her forehead. “Amnesia has affected what’s inside here, not your physical appearance. I doubt Megan’s forgotten the sound of her mother’s voice or the feel of her hands.”

“You think she’ll be able to tell right away?”

“Don’t you?”

It was something Faith had contemplated last night as she’d tossed and turned before falling asleep. Right or wrong, Megan believed Faith was her mother based on an encounter they’d had while she’d been sedated. She no longer suffered the effects of anesthesia. The next meeting between them could very well force Megan to accept that she’d been mistaken, that Faith wasn’t her mother.