Bachelor Father

“That has to be a good sign,” Adam acknowledged.

“I didn’t like doing my business in that pan,” Megan said with the frankness of a child. She told him several other things she didn’t like about being in the hospital before asking him the one question he didn’t want to hear. “Have you seen Mommy today?”

Lori’s eyes met his and she shrugged helplessly. He sat down in the chair next to the bed and said, “Megan, you know we can’t see her. She’s in heaven.”

“Not anymore she isn’t. She came back,” Megan said in a small voice. “Will you find her for me?”

He leaned closer to her. “I can’t do that because she’s not here.”

She licked her lips with her tongue before saying, “But I saw her yesterday when I was getting a ride in my bed.”

“You mean you saw someone who looked like her,” he corrected her.

“Uh-uh. I saw her,” she told him.

Adam reached for her hand and clasped it within his. “We’ve talked about this before, Megan. From time to time you’re going to see women with blond hair and blue eyes who remind you of your mother. That’s only natural. You loved her very much and you miss her.”

“But this lady was my mommy,” she insisted.

“No, she wasn’t,” he said gently, but firmly.

She pulled her hand away. “I knew you wouldn’t believe me.” It was an accusation accompanied by a look that reminded Adam of all that was wrong in their relationship.

“It’s not that I don’t believe you. I think you’re confused because you saw someone who looks like your mother,” he said.

“It was her,” she stated as emphatically as she could considering she had very little strength. “She smiled at me and she blew me a kiss. Mommy always did this when she said goodbye.” She raised two fingers to her lips, then held them up in the air as if sending a kiss his way.

“Lots of people blow kisses, Megan.”

“It was my mommy,” she stated. Her gaze shot to Lori. “You believe me, right?”

Lori sighed. “Oh, sweetie, it’s not a question of believing you. I’m sure the woman you saw looked a lot like your mom….”

Realizing neither of them thought she’d seen her mother, Megan couldn’t stop her lip from quivering and the tears from falling. Pain tightened Adam’s chest.

“It’s only natural that you’d be thinking about her while you’re here in the hospital,” he said. “She used to comfort you when you were sick, remember?”

Megan nodded. “Sometimes she’d climb into bed with me to keep me warm.” She hiccupped as she struggled not to sob. “She could make my tummyaches go away without having to have an operation.”

“I know.” He brushed a stray blond hair away from her cheek. “Unfortunately your mommy’s not here. She’s in heaven.”

“Maybe she came back.”

The hope in her eyes had the same effect on him as a punch in the stomach. “People don’t come back from heaven, Megan. Once you go there, you stay there forever.”

“But you came back,” she told him.

Adam exchanged glances with Lori before saying, “No, I didn’t. I was never in heaven.”

“Mommy said you were.”

Again he caught Lori’s glance and it was filled with empathy.

“Well, your mommy made a mistake. She only thought I’d gone to heaven,” he explained, trying not to feel frustrated with something over which he’d had no control.

“Maybe you made a mistake and Mommy didn’t really go to heaven, either,” she argued.

His anger with Christie for keeping Megan’s existence from him surfaced. He could only imagine how different things would be this very moment if instead of disappearing from his life, Christie had told him she was pregnant with his child.

“Other people believe your mommy’s in heaven, too,” Lori said. “Even your uncle Tom knows she’s there.”

“Maybe he made a mistake, too,” Megan countered innocently.

Adam could see that he was accomplishing nothing by trying to convince her she hadn’t seen her mother. If there was one thing he’d learned in the short time he’d known his daughter it was that once she had her mind made up about something, she wasn’t about to change it. He could see this was one of those times.

“Tell me why you think she’s here in the hospital, Megan,” he said patiently.

“When I saw her she told me she works here. She rocks the babies,” she answered.

“She told you that?” he asked, wondering if there actually was an employee who rocked babies.

“Yes. In the child-care center.”

He looked at Lori who said, “It’s on the first floor.”

He thought for a long moment before getting to his feet. “I’ll tell you what. I’ll go downstairs and look for this woman so we can find out what her name is.”

“I know what her name is. She’s my mommy.” Megan’s voice sounded weary, reminding Adam that she had a long recovery ahead of her.

Lori raised a finger to her lips. “Shh. Don’t talk, just rest. Let your dad go and see if he can find her.”

Adam glanced down at his daughter. “I’ll be back as soon as I’ve talked to her, okay?”

Megan’s response was a satisfied grin. On any other occasion it would have made him happy. Today it only made him anxious.

Lori looked at Adam. “I’ll walk with you to the elevators.” As soon as they were in the hallway she said, “I’m worried about her, Adam. She really does believe that she saw Christie.”

“I know. Last night I thought it was simply the medication, but she’s lucid today and she’s still asking for her,” he said as they walked toward the bank of elevators at the end of the corridor.

“She thinks people can come back from heaven,” Lori said on a sigh.

“Yes, and we know why.” He found it difficult to hold back his frustration with Megan’s mother. “All of this could have been avoided if Christie had simply allowed me to be Megan’s father from day one.” Impatiently he raked a hand through his hair. “I still don’t know why she never told me she was pregnant.”

“You said it was a one-night stand, Adam,” she reminded him, as if that explained Christie’s behavior.

“That didn’t give her the right to keep Megan’s existence from me,” he argued. “I may not have been the most mature guy seven years ago, but I wouldn’t have turned my back on my own daughter.”

“Of course you wouldn’t,” his sister-in-law said in a tone definitely meant to appease him.