Sunshine

“Sure, I know Brick. Didn’t he get married recently?” She’d been so self-involved lately that she hadn’t kept up with what had been happening around town, Janice realized with dismay.

Anna chuckled. “He sure did. Karen’s the police captain, which technically makes her his boss, since Brick’s a lieutenant. They each had a room with us. Their wedding was a disaster, but at least they’re finally together.” Anna looked up as they turned off Gunther Street and onto Main Street. Snow was gathered on the limbs of a bare maple tree under the street lamp, silhouetted against a dark sky. “Isn’t that pretty?”

Janice inhaled deeply. “Yes, it is.” She was so glad she’d come out tonight. She’d been cooped up entirely too long inside that house filled with memories. As they walked across the town square toward the diner, she gazed around at the familiar scene—the library and across the way, the post office. On the next corner was the Hair Affair where she should be making an appointment for a cut. “I wish I had a nickel for every time I’ve walked across this square—with the kids when they were young and with Kurt.”

She was getting melancholy again, Anna decided, and rushed to divert her. “Did you get Stefanie off to Boston?”

“Yes, this morning. I’m surprised she stayed as long as she did. That girl is so in love. Every night she’d call her fiancé and they’d talk for a good hour. Then Ross would call her during the day.” Janice sighed. “Do you remember being like that, Anna? So crazy in love that all you thought about was Johnny, all you talked about was Johnny?”

Anna shrugged. “We were both eighteen, Janice. A couple of kids, really. But yes, I remember when he was my every thought and I probably bored my friends to death talking about him. In that first rush of passion, I think we all feel as if we invented love. Didn’t you?”

“I suppose I did, but it all seems so long ago. Kurt’s been gone such a short time and already sometimes I have trouble remembering how he looked, how he sounded.”

Anna squeezed her friend’s arm. “Give it time, Janice.” She stomped the snow from her boots and opened the door of Marge’s Diner, smiling as a rush of warm air fogged her glasses. “I love the way it smells in here,” she commented as she waved to Marge, who was behind the counter as usual.

The restaurant wasn’t crowded on a frosty Tuesday evening. A couple of teenagers were sipping hot chocolate across the way, and one of Joe Santori’s carpenters was finishing his dinner at the counter. Anna walked to a booth and slid onto the red vinyl seat as Janice seated herself opposite her. She shrugged out of her jacket and concentrated on polishing her glasses.

“Good to see you, Janice,” Marge said as she handed them each a menu. “You, too, Anna.”

“Don’t you ever take time off, Marge?” Anna asked as she put her glasses back on. “Seems like you’re here night and day.”

“Married to my work,” Marge commented wryly.

“I don’t have to look at your menu, Marge,” Janice said with a smile. “I want a piece of your wonderful apple pie and a cup of coffee.” It must have been the walk, for she was suddenly hungry.

“Make mine the same,” Anna said, handing back the menus.

“Coming right up.”

Janice watched Marge walk away, then leaned toward Anna, keeping her voice low. “I’ve always felt a little sorry for Marge, deserted by her husband so many years ago, then her daughter leaving. Always alone and having to work. And now I find myself in basically the same boat.”

Anna frowned. “Are you in trouble financially?” She’d always thought that Kurt made plenty of money and assumed that he’d have lots of insurance.

Janice shrugged. “I don’t think so. I’ve got to go to Kurt’s office and go over the books, check things out.” She brushed back a lock of hair. “I hate to think of all that.”

“Maybe you need some help. You could ask Judson or your father perhaps.” Seeing her friend wrinkle her nose at those suggestions, Anna grew thoughtful. “How about David Markus? I talked with him for a while at your house and he said he’s a financial adviser. He also said he’s known you for years, yet I’ve never heard you mention his name.”

“The three of us went to college together. It was a shock seeing him after all these years.” A picture of David sitting with her on her window seat came to Janice, the way he’d taken her hand, then kissed her forehead. A lot of Kurt’s friends had hugged her that day, but oddly, it was David’s touch she remembered. Feeling unaccountably guilty, she pushed the thought away.

“He’s very attractive,” Anna said as their dessert and coffee arrived. Nodding her thanks to Marge, she picked up her fork. “Is he married?”

Janice took a careful sip. “She died in a car accident twelve years ago.”

“And he’s never remarried? Hard to believe.” Anna took a bite of warm pie.

“I don’t know why we’re talking about David Markus. I’ll probably never see him again.”

Anna had had enough. She touched Janice’s hand and waited until her friend met her direct gaze. “Listen, Kurt died, you didn’t. Now, I know you’re grieving and I’m not suggesting you start dating this week. But you’re only forty-three and far too young to talk as if your life is over. I was merely suggesting you call an old college friend for some financial advice, not that you run off with him.”

But Janice wasn’t listening. “I believe some women love only one man and if something happens to him, that’s it.”

Her grief was making her melodramatic, Anna thought with a sigh. “I’m not sure I agree.”

“Tell me honestly, Anna. If something happened to Johnny, would you want to go on?”

“I would be devastated, as you are. But I would go on, because of the children and grandchildren. And for myself, because I’m not one to give up.”

“Could you love anyone after Johnny? I doubt it. Why, look at Alyssa.”

Anna took another bite of pie, wondering how she could steer this conversation to a lighter vein. “What about Alyssa?”

“We’ve talked about this before, of how Alyssa was wildly in love with Eddie Wocheck when she was young. You said you didn’t think Alyssa’s been truly happy since her father broke up that romance.”

Anna shook her head. “I don’t believe those were my exact words.”

“Pretty much. I know that you and Johnny were close to Alyssa and Eddie. I remember you said that Johnny warned Eddie that Uncle Judson would put a stop to any wedding plans, but you advised Alyssa to elope with him.”

“You’re right, I did. But today I’d probably advise her differently. Eddie had nothing then and Alyssa was the only child of the richest family in town. It’s hard for a young man to take on all that. Perhaps if they’d married, the strain on Eddie, having to prove himself, would have ruined the marriage. Didn’t Kurt ever feel intimidated marrying into the Ingalls clan?”

Janice thought that over. “Maybe a little, at first. But he drove himself and did very well rather quickly. They were never close, but Dad respected Kurt.”

“But the two of you eloped. Was that your idea or Kurt’s?”

“Kurt’s. He said he couldn’t afford a big wedding and he didn’t want to accept one paid for by my family.” Janice set aside her plate. “You know, I’ve had a lot of time to think lately and I realize now that from the beginning, I let Kurt make all the decisions. His only concession to me was finally agreeing to move to Tyler.”

“He wanted to stay in Madison?”

“He wanted us to live in Milwaukee, but I didn’t want to be that close to my father.” She let out a small laugh that had a bitter edge. “I went from one dominating man to another.” She took a sip of coffee and tasted regret.

Anna finished eating and raised her eyes to study her friend. Janice was a bright woman, but had always had a head-in-the-sand approach to life. Perhaps Kurt’s death was causing her to question and to face some harsh realities. Anna wasn’t sure Janice was altogether prepared for that. “Maybe what you need next is a man with whom you can be yourself, someone to really share with.”

“I think I have enough to cope with just recovering right now. To think of another man is not only premature, it’s ridiculous.” She stared down into her coffee cup. “Besides, what on earth would a worldly man like David Markus want with a small-town creature like me?”

Ridiculous, was it, Anna thought. Yet it was Janice who’d brought David’s name up again. “Eddie Wocheck’s been all over and yet I believe he’s very interested in seeing Alyssa, who’s lived her whole life in a small town. It isn’t where we’re from that matters as much as who we are.”

Janice waved a dismissive hand. “That’s different. They knew each other way back when and...”

“Didn’t you just tell me you went to college with David?”

“Yes, but we only dated a few times. He had this sense of obligation to his widowed mother and this burning need to succeed.”

Anna gave her a mock scowl. “Terrible traits in a man.”

But Janice was determined to make her point. “I’d be willing to bet that Eddie and Alyssa will get back together. She’s always loved him, always will. A one-man woman. Like you. Like me.”

Amused, Anna smiled. “You should be writing books, with your imagination. I don’t think it’s all that simple. Thirty years have passed. Alyssa’s not the same woman she was at nineteen and Eddie’s changed. They’ve both had a less than perfect marriage. I don’t think either one is impulsive enough to jump into anything.” Again, she met her friend’s eyes. “And I’m not convinced you’re a one-man woman, either.”

“Why do you say that? I had a good life married to a wonderful man who loved me.”