Her Baby Wish

After Trace had left the house, she hadn’t been able to finish her work until well after midnight. Then she lay awake a long time, reliving her husband’s visit, their kiss.

Trace’s familiar taste. The way he held her, reminding her how well their bodies meshed together. She delighted in the fact she could still make his control slip, just as hers had. She had to stop herself from trying to convince him to stay and make love to her.

Oh God, it had been a long time since Trace had touched her.

“Mrs. McKane, are you all right?”

Kira shook away the fantasy and glanced at her student, Jody Campbell. “Oh, Jody. Yes, I’m fine. Just a lot of things on my mind.” She picked up her pace toward the counselors’ office, realizing the student was staying right with her. “What are you doing out of class?”

“Mr. Douglas let me leave early because I needed to see you.” The pretty girl hesitated. “It’s about volunteer time at the retirement home. All the kids voted it as our class project, but some don’t have enough hours to come to the senior roundup.”

“Give me the list and I’ll talk to them,” Kira said as she stopped at the counseling department’s door and took the paper.

Seeing Jody reminded her that she’d gotten a notice from her English teacher. The promising student’s work had been suffering the past month. Kira hated that her own personal distractions had caused her to neglect one of the best students in the senior class.

“Why don’t you come back at three o’clock? We should talk.”

Jody hesitated again. “I work at four so I need to catch the three-thirty bus.”

She couldn’t let this slip any longer, not with finals next week. “Well, I could give you a lift if you like and we can have a quick chat.”

Her once-enthusiastic student kept her eyes cast down. “Okay.”

Kira signed Jody’s pass and sent her off to class just as the bell rang. She walked inside the guidance office and into the first glass cubicle. She hated being distracted from her work. And these last few weeks, it had been especially difficult for her to keep focused on a job she was crazy about. She loved doing extra things to stay involved with the teenagers.

Kira was the sponsor for this year’s senior class, including all activities. Doing service hours and giving back to the community was an important part of their curriculum. It helped to develop their social skills, and it looked good on their college applications. She rewarded those students with senior roundup at McKane Ranch.

Winchester Ridge was a small ranching town, but the teenagers loved to spend the day helping with the roundup and branding. Followed by a barbecue and barn dance that closed out their senior year with wonderful memories.

Kira sank into her desk chair. Not all kids were that lucky. Suddenly the last fifteen years faded away as her thoughts went back to her own high school days. Shy and naive, she’d been passed around to so many different foster homes it had been difficult to make friends. So when someone gave her attention, she’d been eager for it, and easy to be taken advantage of. Those lonely years had been a big motivator for her career choice.

At the sound of the knock on her door, Kira looked up to see her fellow counselor and friend, Michelle Turner, peer in.

“Michele,” she greeted. “Are you coming for the meeting?”

“It’s been postponed until one o’clock,” her friend said as she walked inside the small enclosure and closed the door. “Kira, are you all right?”

She gave her friend a bright smile. “I’m fine.”

The young teacher sat down in the only other chair. “No, you’re not.”

Kira shook her head. Michele had been the one person she’d confided in about her inability to conceive. The fellow teacher had been her first friend when she’d come to the western Colorado town. “No, really. We’ve gotten word from the adoption agency.”

Michele’s pretty blue eyes lit up. “Oh, that’s great news.” She frowned. “Why so sad?”

Kira shrugged. “Hormones, probably. And Trace. He’s a little hesitant about the idea.”

Michele leaned forward. “You two have been through a lot over this and now that you’re so close to having a baby, he’s probably a little scared.”

And he wants his own child, Kira added silently. “It’s more.” She looked her friend in the eye, knowing she’d never betray her confidence. “It hasn’t been easy living with me this last year.”

“You’ve gone through a lot, trying to have a baby.”

Kira released a shuttering breath. “Trace moved out to the bunkhouse two months ago.”

“Oh, Kira.” Michele shook her head. “Isn’t that just like a man? When they can’t deal with things, they up and leave. Well, I know Trace loves you.”

And Kira wasn’t so sure of that anymore. “I might have pushed him too far this time. We both said things that can’t be taken back.” She recalled the hurtful words she’d thrown at him. And yesterday she mentioned the “D” word. It was all or nothing now.

“Then march out to that bunkhouse and convince him to come back home.”

“I’m not sure that will work.”

“How do you know if you don’t try? So go and seduce your husband.” Michele glanced at her watch. “I’ve got to get back. Can we do lunch later in the week?”

“Sure. Are you going to help chaperone at the roundup?”

Michele grinned. “I wouldn’t miss it. Is your good-looking brother-in-law going to be there?”

Kira was surprised by her friend’s interest in Jarrett. “I’m not sure.”

Michelle waved off the question then hugged her. “I’ll see you later.” She walked out.

Kira leaned back in her chair. Could she get Trace to come back home, and get him to change his mind about the divorce? Could they work together to repair their mess of a marriage?

She thought back to the last time Trace had wanted to be close to her. In the weeks before he’d moved out, her once-loving husband hadn’t wanted to touch her, or even be in the same house with her. And she couldn’t blame him. The sad part was she’d driven him out. Out of his own home.

Trace loved the McKane Ranch, one of the oldest in the area. He was a cattleman like his father and grandfather before him. There had been times when she was a little jealous of his dedication, maybe if he’d talk about the operation with her it would help. Even when he’d bought out part of his brother’s land, she hadn’t been asked anything about it until it came time to sign the loan papers. She just wanted to feel like a part of his dreams.

Kira felt her chest tighten with the familiar ache. The same feeling she’d had when she’d lost her parents in the accident and her grandmother wouldn’t take her into her home. Rejection. When she had to go into foster care, then from home to home. Rejection. When she fell in love with the first boy who gave her the time of day, he’d abandoned her, too. Rejection. Now, her marriage…

Kira sat up straighter. Why was she thinking so much about the past? She’d worked so hard to put those years behind her. A glance at the calendar gave her the answer. It was approaching the seventh of June. Fifteen years had passed and it still hurt like a fresh wound.

No! This baby was going to change things. She was going to have her family, even if it was only part of one.

“Kira…”

She turned around to see Trace at the door. He was dressed in his usual jeans and Western shirt, his cowboy hat in his hand. With her heart pounding, she stood. “Trace.” He never came to her school. “Is something wrong?”

“Do you have some time to talk?”

“Sure.” She stepped aside. “Come in.”

He glanced around the busy office. “I’d rather go somewhere else. Can you leave for a while?”

She checked her watch. “I’m free for the next hour.”

“Let’s go for some coffee.”