Eleven Hours

‘Oh, I didn’t know they did maternity,’ said the saleswoman.

‘They don’t,’ Didi said. ‘It’s an extra large.’ She hated saying ‘extra large,’ but she didn’t like being ashamed of her size either. The woman handed her the bags and said, ‘Are you going to be okay with these? They’re kind of heavy.’

‘I’ll be fine,’ said Didi. ‘I only have a few more stops to make.’

She was glad NorthPark wasn’t as busy as it was on Saturdays. She didn’t like to push through crowds with her bags and the Belly.

In Coach, Didi bought herself a new leather purse. It was brown, medium-sized, and on sale for $60, down from $120. With the $60 saved, she bought herself a wallet.

‘When are you due?’ asked the lady helping her.

‘Two weeks,’ replied Didi, holding on to the Belly. She needed to sit. Gravity was pulling the baby down. Didi needed him or her to stay inside for a few more weeks. She and Rich were planning an escape to Lake Texoma in Oklahoma the following weekend.

‘Do you know what it’s going to be?’

Didi shook her head. ‘We want to be surprised,’ she said.

‘That’s nice,’ said the lady. ‘I couldn’t do that. I wanted to know with my two kids. I have two boys.’

Didi smiled, signing the American Express receipt. ‘That’s nice. We have two girls. Do you like having two boys?’

‘Oh, yes,’ said the lady. Before Didi had a chance to reply, the woman said, ‘They’re a handful. But I wanted to try again for a girl. My husband said no more. What if we continue having boys for ten years? Two’s plenty, he said. Who am I to argue, right? He pays the bills. I only work to make myself a little extra for the holidays, you know?’

Didi smiled and nodded knowingly. ‘We would like a boy,’ she admitted. ‘But it doesn’t matter. Boy or girl, we’re done after this one.’

‘I hear you, sister,’ said the saleslady.

Didi laughed. ‘I’m sure your boys must be wonderful,’ she said.

‘Oh, no, they’re terrors,’ said the lady. ‘Five and seven. Absolute terrors.’

As she walked out of Coach, Didi smelled something sweet and delicious. She looked at her watch. 12.20. Lunch with Richie in forty minutes. She remembered their fight last night and sighed. No. She was meeting Rich in forty minutes, but that didn’t mean she would be eating in forty minutes because there would be more arguing, recriminations, and apologies before food was ordered and served. Didi thought it could be as long as an hour and a half before she saw actual food. That was just too long to wait. She had a hankering for something now, something that didn’t include bickering. A sweet pretzel would do nicely.

Didi headed for the Freshens Yogurt stand, which also sold pretzels. She knew she had only two speeds – slow and very slow. Weighed down with thirty pounds of baby and baby nesting plus Dillard’s, FAO Schwarz, and Coach shopping bags in her hands, she felt as if she were moving only through inertia, which dictated that bodies in motion stay in motion. She wished she were a body at rest.

‘Could I have an almond pretzel, please?’ Didi asked the teenage boy behind the counter. The words came out softly between short breaths.

‘Sure. Would you like any topping on it?’ he asked her.

‘No, thank you. Just a pretzel.’ A second later, she said, ‘Make that two. And some water, please.’

‘One pretzel for you, one for the baby,’ a voice next to her said. She turned her head to the right and found herself face to face with a young man. He had a wide friendly smile on his face. She smiled back, but – something in his face thinned her own smile. A small pit opened up inside her stomach. The feeling reminded her of high school days when she’d meet someone cute and her heart would fall a foot in her chest.

The falling didn’t come because he was cute, and her heart didn’t skip because she was excited. Her heart skipped because the man was looking at her with a warm smile of familiarity, with the smile of someone who’d known her for ages. Didi was sure she’d never met him.

There was something else odd about him, something she couldn’t quite put her finger on.

Reluctantly, she acknowledged him. ‘No, actually. One for me, one for my husband. The baby eats plenty as it is.’

‘Yeah, those babies can get mighty hungry,’ he said. ‘My wife had a baby boy a little while ago.’

‘That’s nice,’ she said, turning away from him. ‘Congratulations.’

‘Do you know if it’s a boy or a girl?’ asked the guy behind the counter, handing Didi a white paper bag with two pretzels in it.

‘No. It doesn’t really matter,’ Didi said evasively.

‘Oh, you say it doesn’t matter,’ the friendly man beside her said. ‘But you know it matters a lot. We all want what we want.’

‘No, really,’ Didi said, wishing he would stop talking to her. ‘As long as the baby’s healthy.’ She studied him briefly. He was somewhere in his late twenties, clean-shaven, neatly dressed, thin, and of medium height. His light brown hair was carefully trimmed above his ears. He had blue or green eyes; Didi couldn’t be sure in the artificial light of the mall and didn’t want to look at him that closely. Underneath his navy nylon jacket he wore a white shirt. He wasn’t bad-looking.

‘Bet your husband wants a boy, though,’ the man said.

He doesn’t know I have a husband, Didi thought, and then remembered mentioning that one of the pretzels was for her husband. She was instantly upset with herself. Why am I being unkind to him? she thought. I’m being unkind and unchristian.

‘Bet your husband wants a boy, though,’ the man repeated evenly.

‘If he does, he isn’t telling,’ Didi said quickly. She took out three dollars and paid for the pretzels.

Taking a gulp of water, she gave the cup back to the salesclerk to throw out. She didn’t have a free hand to carry a drink. Throwing the change inside her purse, Didi said in a friendly voice, ‘Well, have a nice day.’

‘Yeah, you too,’ said the guy behind the counter.

The man followed her as she walked away from the store. Didi tried to speed up but realized it was impossible. He came up beside her and said, ‘Hey. Do you need help with those bags? They look so heavy.’

Didi tried to speed up again. Did she look as if she was languishing? ‘They’re fine, not too bad at all,’ she said. ‘But thanks. Have a nice day, okay?’

‘You sure? I don’t mind helping. Don’t have much to do right now. Really.’

She tried not to look at him. A troubled feeling settled on her heart – no, she thought, she was being silly.

She saw a Warner Bros store. ‘Really, I’m fine,’ she said, moving away from him. ‘Thanks anyway.’

She walked into the store without looking back, but the heaviness didn’t leave her chest.

Didi went toward the children’s section and looked around, putting down her bags and taking a few bites of the pretzel.

Suddenly she was no longer hungry and had lost her desire to shop. Deciding to call Rich, Didi pulled the cell phone out of her handbag. The cell phone was defective, with the number seven missing because little Reenie had eaten it on one of their weekend trips to Lake Texoma. It was time to get a new one.

What was odd about that man aside from his open smile? He acted as if he knew her, but that wasn’t what was odd. Something else. She wanted to cross herself. What’s the matter with you, Didi? she whispered, intently studying the plush Tasmanian Devils. Why are you being so uncharitable? He was just trying to help.

Her husband wasn’t picking up. What else was new? His message machine answered. ‘It’s just me,’ Didi said after the beep. ‘Calling from the mall, hoping I could meet you a little earlier.’ She paused and thought about turning around. ‘It’s okay. I’ll see you at one, I guess. Bye.’

She picked out a couple of T-shirts for her girls and turned to walk to the cash register. She saw him immediately. He was near the Tweety Bird clocks. He appeared to have forgotten her completely.

At the register, Didi took out cash to speed the transaction.

‘Linda, look!’ the salesgirl exclaimed to another salesgirl. Then to Didi, ‘Wow, you’re really pregnant.’