A Sparkle In The Cowboy's Eyes

Already turning for the house, Merideth stopped.

“She’s my niece.”

Slowly she turned to face him. “Sissy’s baby?”

“Yeah.”

Though the news surprised her, it didn’t soften Merideth’s anger with John Lee. She lifted her chin, her look one of contempt. “I always considered Sissy intelligent, but she certainly has displayed poor judgment in her choice of babysitters.”

John Lee heaved a sigh. “I’m not baby-sitting. I’m Cassie’s guardian. Sissy’s dead.”

The blood slowly drained from Merideth’s face. “Dead?” she repeated in a hoarse whisper.

John Lee thinned his lips, fighting back the emotion, the memory. “Yeah. She was killed in a motorcycle accident a little over a month ago.”

“Oh, John Lee,” she murmured, “I didn’t know.” She pressed a hand against her heart, remembering the towheaded little girl who had shadowed her big brother’s every step from the time she could walk. “I’m so sorry. You were so close. That must have been horrible for you.”

He dipped his chin to his chest and scuffed the toe of his boot at a plank on the front porch. “Yeah, it was, but truthfully I lost Sissy a long time ago.” He lifted his gaze to meet hers, his blue eyes a deep pool of grief that Merideth well understood. “You wouldn’t have known her, Merideth. After Mom and Dad died, she went crazy. Died her hair purple, pierced everything on her body that could be pierced. When she wasn’t living on the streets, she was shacking up with first one guy, then another. I doubt she even knew who fathered the baby.” He shook his head regretfully. “I tried to help her, but nothing I did or said seemed to make any difference. It was as if she was determined to self-destruct.”

Merideth laid a hand on his arm, her touch light but full of compassion. “I wish I’d known. Maybe I could have done something to help her.”

He placed his own hand over hers and squeezed. “Thanks, but nothing you could have done or said would have changed anything. Believe me, I tried it all.” He drew her hand from his arm to clasp it between his own. He dropped his gaze to stare at them. “But maybe there is something that you could do for Sissy.”

Unsure what she could do now that Sissy was gone, Merideth peered at him quizzically. “What?”

John Lee drew in a deep breath and lifted his gaze, his blue eyes meeting hers. “I need help with Cassie. Mrs. Baker, my housekeeper, takes care of her through the day, but the woman isn’t as young as she used to be. And with all her other household chores...well, the baby’s not getting the attention she requires. What Cassie needs is a nanny.”

Merideth tensed, sensing the direction the conversation was taking. “Is that why you invited me to dinner? To persuade me to become the baby’s nanny?”

He had the grace to blush. “Well, yeah, sorta.”

Her lips thinned and she jerked her hand from his. “Then you wasted your time. Look elsewhere. I’m not interested.”

When she turned for the house, John Lee stepped in front of her again. Merideth snapped her head up to glare at him.

“I have looked,” he said. “I really have.” He dug his hands deep into his jean pockets. “You don’t realize how hard it is to find someone competent, someone I’d trust with her. That’s why I was hoping you’d be willing to help me out for a while. You wouldn’t be her nanny, really. More like her friend.”

When her eyes narrowed dangerously, John Lee pressed on. “It’d just be for a couple of months. Just until I can find someone permanent. You told me you didn’t know what you wanted to do with your life,” he reminded her. “This’ll give you something to occupy your time while you’re making up your mind. And you can live on the ranch with Cassie and me. That way you won’t feel like you’re a burden on your sisters anymore. It’s the perfect arrangement for everyone. Don’t you see?”

Though Merideth’s gaze was riveted on John Lee’s face, the image she saw was that of Cassie, that beautiful little baby, standing in the playpen, her arms outstretched to Merideth, tears streaking down her red face, that silent plea in her eyes.

Slowly she backed away from him. “No,” she said, her voice thick with emotion. “I’m sorry, but I can’t.” Spinning around she ran from the porch and across the lawn.

“Why didn’t either of you tell me?” Merideth demanded accusingly of her sisters.

Mandy and Sam exchanged a guilty look, but as the oldest and the one who’d ultimately made the decision to keep the news from her, it was Mandy who responded. “I’m sorry, Merideth. I know we should have, but—well, right after Sissy’s accident, you had your accident and we didn’t think you needed to be burdened with any more bad news.”

Merideth folded her arms beneath her breasts. “So you’re making my decisions for me now, are you? And I suppose you both were in on this little scheme with John Lee, too, weren’t you, thinking I’d go along with his idea? Well, you were wrong!” she cried, flattening her hands on her father’s desk as she leaned across it to glare at them. “I won’t do it I can’t.”

“Whoa, wait a minute,” Sam said, rising from the sofa. “What scheme?”

Narrowing her eyes suspiciously, Merideth shifted her gaze from Sam’s to Mandy’s and back again, looking for signs of guilt, for the lie she was sure that her sisters were trying to brazen out But she saw nothing there but confusion. “He didn’t tell you?”

Sam tossed her hands in the air in frustration. “Tell us, what, for heaven’s sake?”

“That he wants me to move in with him and take care of Sissy’s baby.”

Mandy’s eyes widened and she leapt from the sofa. “What! Oh, Merideth, surely you know that we’d never ask you to do something like that. That would be cruel. Your own loss is still much too fresh.”

Merideth folded her arms beneath her breasts again and turned her back on her sisters to stare out the darkened window. “Yes, it is,” she said, feeling tears rising. “But obviously John Lee doesn’t think so.”

The days faded one into the other until a week had passed since Merideth’s conversation with John Lee. During that week, she had paced her room, walked the pastures of the Double-Cross, driven for miles on end, all the while cursing John Lee Carter.

Why had he done this to her? Didn’t he realize how painful it was for her to see someone else’s baby when her heart was still raw from the loss of her own?

And that baby. That precious little angel. As hard as she tried, Merideth couldn’t shake her image...or the desperation in John Lee’s voice when he’d said he needed help with the child.

She tried hard not to feel sorry for him, to hold on to her anger with him, but it was obvious that he was in way over his head. What did a bachelor, especially a playboy like John Lee, know about caring for a baby?

The poor little thing, left without a mother to love and care for her. Merideth tried to blot the infant from her mind, but she couldn’t sleep at night for worrying about her, wondering if she was okay, if John Lee had found someone to care for her, if she was receiving the proper care.

After a week of sleepless nights and haunted days, she finally decided she wouldn’t rest until she saw the child again and satisfied herself that the baby was receiving the attention and care she needed. She owed Sissy that.

She planned her visit mid-morning in hopes of avoiding John Lee, sure that he would be out on the ranch with his wranglers at that time of day.

Parking in front of the long, ranch-style house, she crossed to the porch and rang the bell. From the other side of the door, she could hear the drone of a television set... and the plaintive cry of the baby. She waited, her nerves winding tighter and tighter with each passing moment, with each new heartbreaking sob.

She punched the bell a second time. Then, unable to stand the sound of the baby’s crying, tried the door and found it open. She stepped inside. “Mrs. Baker? John Lee?”

She listened but heard nothing but the baby’s persistent cry. Had something happened to the housekeeper? Was the baby alone and in pain? With panic gripping her chest, Merideth ran down the hall, following the crying sounds to the den.

There she found a playpen in the center of the room and inside it Cassie stood on wobbly legs, her fingers knotted in the playpen’s mesh sides. She stood just as she had the last time Merideth had seen her. Dressed in nothing but a fruit-stained T-shirt and a sagging diaper, she turned her face toward Merideth. Alligator-sized tears ran down her face.

Merideth glanced frantically around, looking for some sign of John Lee or Mrs. Baker, hoping they would hear the baby’s cries and would come and see to her needs. But no one came. There wasn’t a sound in the house other than that of canned laughter from a television set in another room. Merideth swallowed the fear that rose as she turned her gaze back to Cassie.

Tears burned her throat. She’d made a mistake, she told herself. She shouldn’t have come. She couldn’t bear this.

She started to turn away, to leave before anyone saw her, but just as she did, the baby swayed, losing her balance, then sat down hard on the floor of the playpen. Her frustrated wails grew louder.

Instinctively, Merideth took a step toward her, her hands outstretched, reaching for her...then she stopped, curling her hands into fists against her lips. She couldn’t pick her up. She couldn’t touch her. She just couldn’t.

As if Cassie sensed Merideth’s inability to rescue her, she flopped over on her tummy and buried her face in the blanket beneath her, sobbing miserably.

Swallowing hard, Merideth quickly closed the distance between them and stooped to pick her up. Cassie grabbed at Merideth’s hair, tangling the fingers of one hand there, while she fisted her other hand in Merideth’s blouse. Straightening, Merideth held her out in front of her.

Emotion rose in her throat as she met the infant’s gaze. “Shhh,” she whispered, blinded by her own tears. “Please don’t cry.” But Cassie only wailed louder. With her heart threatening to split wide open, Merideth drew a deep breath and slowly drew her to her breasts. The frantic beat of the baby’s heart throbbed against her own.

She closed her eyes, trying to remain unaffected, but the baby’s warmth seeped through her blouse and slowly wound itself around her heart. Merideth couldn’t hold back the tide of grief that rose inside her.