Дживс, вы – гений! / Thank you, Jeeves!

“Well, you know best, of course. Very doubtful, I should have said myself. And, anyway, what do you want me to do about it?”

“Well, you’re a friend of his. You could give him a hint. You could tell him there’s no need for coldness—”

“It is not coldness. It is delicacy. We men have our code in these matters. We are gentle knights. We—”

“What utter nonsense! You asked me to marry you after you had known me two weeks.”

“Ah, but there you were dealing with one of the Wild Woosters.”

“Well, I can’t see—”

“Yes?” I said. “Proceed.”

But she was looking past me at something to the south-east; and, turning, I perceived that we were no longer alone. There, standing in an attitude of respectful courtliness, was Jeeves.

5

Bertie Takes Things in Hand

I nodded affably. I am always debonair.

“Ah, Jeeves.”

“Good afternoon, sir.”

Pauline appeared interested.

“Is this Jeeves?”

“This is Jeeves.”

“So you don’t like Mr Wooster’s banjolele?”

“No, miss.”

I preferred that this delicate matter be not discussed.

“Well, Jeeves? What is it?”

“Mr Stoker, sir. He is inquiring after Miss Stoker’s whereabouts.”

“You’d better go,” said I to Pauline.

“I suppose so. You won’t forget what I said?”

“Never,” I assured her.

She went away, and Jeeves and I were alone together in the great solitude.

“Well, Jeeves.”

“Sir?”

“I mean to say, we meet again.”

“Yes, sir.”

“I hope you’re getting on all right with Chuffy?”

“Everything is most pleasant, sir. I trust your new personal attendant is giving satisfaction?”

“Oh, quite. A wonderful fellow.”

“I am extremely gratified to hear it, sir.”

There was a pause.

“Er, Jeeves,” I said.

“Sir?”

“I should rather like, if you have a moment to spare, to split a word with you.”

“Certainly, sir.”

“I wish to canvass your views regarding old Chuffy.”

“Very good, sir.”

I hesitated no longer.

“You will agree with me that something’s got to be done about the fifth Baron.”

“I beg your pardon, sir?”

“Come, come, Jeeves. You know what I mean as well as I do.”

“Am I correct in supposing, sir, that you are alluding to his lordship’s feelings towards Miss Stoker?”

“Exactly.”

“I am, of course, aware that his lordship is experiencing for the young lady a sentiment deeper and warmer than that of ordinary friendship, sir.”

“Very well, then. Now, mark this. She, too, loves, Jeeves.”

“Indeed, sir?”

“She was telling me so when you came along. And she’s very upset, poor girl. Extremely upset. Her feminine intuition has enabled her to read his secret. She detects the lovelight in his eyes. And what is worrying her is that he does not tell his love. So, he loves her. She loves him. So what’s more? I know Chuffy. A swift performer. Yet now look at him. Why?”