Penny Jordan's Crighton Family Series

Caspar paused before turning the car into the drive that led to Olivia’s parents’ house.

He had no idea how Olivia was going to react to his arrival. Initially when he had left her, his mood fuelled by a lethal cocktail of affronted male ego, hurt pride and sense of injustice, he had told himself that in ending their relationship and distancing himself from her, he was simply saving himself the bother of the pointless trauma of trying to pretend that they still loved one another when quite patently they did not.

It had taken him a week of expecting her to contact him coupled with an emotional backlash that began with self-righteous anger and ended with the bitter realisation that she was not going to telephone to make him understand just what he had done and—even more painfully—accept why he had done it.

It had never worked as a child, trying to bring his inattentive parents to heel or to command their attention and concern to evoke their parental love, so why the hell had he thought it would work this time and with someone like Olivia, especially with someone like Olivia?

He could now plainly understand how she must have felt—that he had let her down by not sympathising with her need to step into her father’s shoes.

The truth was that he had been jealous, jealous of the fact that anyone other than himself could be important. He had visited some old friends whilst he was at home and had sat politely listening to the woman complaining tiredly that her partner was jealous of their two-year-old child.

‘It’s ridiculous,’ she had told Caspar wearily. ‘Ricky is his son, and that’s part of the reason that I love him—because he is Gerry’s child—as well as for himself, but Gerry can’t or rather won’t see that. He only sees that Ricky is another male taking my attention away from him. I just can’t seem to make him see that the reason Ricky clings more to me is because he senses Gerry’s rejection of him. Ricky needs Gerry’s love.’

Caspar had at first thought she was exaggerating, but it had only been later, turning the conversation over in his mind when he was alone, that he had begun to ask himself if he, too, would turn out to be the kind of father who was afraid of the love his partner had for their children, the kind of man who resented it and actively tried to punish both the child and the mother because of it, the kind of man his own father had been….

Dusk was settling as he drew up outside the house, his arrival activating the security lights. He got out of the car and paused in thought before heading towards the entrance. He had been unnecessarily hard on Olivia, especially with regard to her mother, he acknowledged. As a child he had had no one to protect him from the realities of his parents’ chaotic lives. Was that in part why he had refused to give Olivia the escape route of believing that her mother’s obvious problem was simply a minor abberation?

He still didn’t feel that it would serve any useful purpose to try to deny that Tiggy had a problem, which so far as he was concerned needed professional treatment, but he could have handled the situation differently, been more cautious, more circumspect, in his appraisal and his comments, he conceded as he rang the doorbell and then stood back to wait.

Olivia was upstairs when the doorbell rang. She almost decided against going down to answer it; she didn’t really feel up to seeing anyone. Jon had already rung her earlier to tell her about Ruth’s visit.

‘I didn’t mean to tell her,’ Olivia had confessed. ‘I don’t really know why I did. She caught me at a weak moment, I suppose….’

‘Well, I must admit that I’m certainly grateful that you did,’ Jon had told her. ‘Oh, at first I wasn’t really convinced by what she said but I have to say I was wrong and she was right. The accountants and the bank did seem loath to ask too many questions about David’s “loans” and I got the impression they were just happy that the money was being repaid. There are no heirs, of course. Inland Revenue will get the bulk of Jemima’s estate and we must hope that they, too, are content to accept the status quo.’

She knew that it couldn’t be either him or Jenny calling. Jon had told her that they were going out for a celebration meal.

‘Alone,’ Jon had told her wryly, adding, ‘Ruth’s babysitting and Jack says to tell you that he’s going to call round tomorrow for his sports kit.’

Jack. Olivia bit her lip. She felt that she ought to have insisted on taking charge of her brother, but there was no doubt that he was better off with Jon and Jenny. Staying with them, not only would he have the company of his cousins to occupy him and stop him from brooding, but as Jenny had pointed out, since both he and Joss were at the same school, it made things far simpler to have the two of them under one roof than two separate ones. She certainly would have found it hard to give him the time and attention she knew he needed. It was gone six o’clock most evenings before she got home and she left at eight in the morning.

She and Jon had found themselves working together as a team as Jon himself had commented, and they were now beginning to get through the backlog of work her father had stacked up. There was a good deal of satisfaction to be found in managing to achieve a clear desk, Olivia had decided, and what surprised her even more was that she didn’t really miss the fast pace of her previous job.

She did miss Caspar, though.

Tiredly she went downstairs and opened the door.

‘Caspar!’ She cried out his name in disbelief, staring at him as though she couldn’t believe her eyes, which in truth she couldn’t.

‘Is it too late to admit that I’ve been a fool and say that I’ve changed my mind?’ Caspar asked simply. ‘I thought I was already a man, Livvy, whole and complete, but I’ve discovered over these past few weeks that I’m not. Nowhere near. I can’t be a man if I can still behave like a spoiled child. And as for my being complete, I will never be complete again without you.’

‘I tried to ring you,’ Olivia could only think to say as she stepped back so that he could walk into the house, ‘but you weren’t there….’

‘No, I was probably on my way here,’ Caspar agreed, ‘praying with every mile that you weren’t going to give me the treatment I deserved and tell me to go straight back again. Is it too late, Livvy?’ he asked her directly.

Olivia shook her head and then told him rawly, ‘Yes, very much too late for me to stop loving you. Oh, Caspar,’ she wailed as she flung herself into his arms, ‘I’ve missed you so much. I’ve wanted you so much. I thought it was so important to assert my independence and not let you bully me emotionally by demanding to be the most important person in my life, but that’s exactly what you are … who you are,’ she amended.

‘Stop talking, woman, and let me kiss you,’ Caspar commanded lovingly as he drew her into his arms, tightening them possessively around her. He started to bend his head towards her whilst Olivia reached up eagerly towards him, but then he stopped and glanced up and down the hallway. ‘Where are your parents?’ he asked her in a whisper. ‘The kind of behaviour I’m about to indulge in right now isn’t something I feel I want anyone to witness.’

‘Dad’s in a nursing home,’ Olivia explained, ‘and Tiggy …’

As Caspar saw the sadness darken her eyes, he held her even more tightly and watched her tenderly.

‘You were right about her, Caspar. She was … she did need help. Hopefully she’s going to get it now….’ Quietly she told him what had happened.

‘Uncle Jon and I went to the clinic this afternoon and talked to the specialist who runs it. She was very kind but very honest, as well. She says there aren’t any statistics to show how many bulimics recover simply because, as yet, none have been out of addiction long enough to be considered recovered. In Tiggy’s case … well, she suspects that her addiction has gone on for a long time, which means, of course, that helping her to acknowledge and overcome it will be very much harder. She had hoped to talk to Dad, but …’

‘Does David know what’s happened to your mother?’ Caspar asked her, concerned about the pain he could see in her eyes.

‘Yes, he knows,’ Olivia answered quietly. ‘Mr Hayes told him this afternoon, but it seems that Dad doesn’t … doesn’t …’

‘Doesn’t what?’ Caspar waited, not wishing to push her. ‘Doesn’t care?’

Much as that knowledge must have hurt Olivia, he wasn’t totally surprised. There had been something about them as a couple that somehow hadn’t quite rung true, something that despite their apparent togetherness had suggested that they were simply two people who lived under the same roof.

‘He’s still recovering from his own heart attack, of course, and the doctor has told us that sometimes the shock of that happening, the fear it can generate, can make people behave irrationally and … and selfishly. They’re afraid, I suppose, that he could have another heart attack, and so anything that causes him any kind of stress … or soul-searching, has to be avoided.’

In other words, David Crighton was quite happy to let his brother and his daughter take over his responsibilities towards his wife for him.

‘That’s not all, is it?’ Caspar probed gently, ‘Something else is bothering you. What is it?’

Olivia gave him a startled look. ‘I went to see you at the airport,’ she said evasively. ‘You were kissing …’

Caspar smiled. So she had tried to get in touch with him after all; she hadn’t simply let him walk away.

‘In actual fact,’ he explained, ‘Hillary was the one kissing me and she was most certainly not the one I wanted to be kissing me, and that one kiss was as far as it went. Now, tell me what’s really bothering you, apart from the fact that there’s no way I’m letting you sleep alone tonight or sharing that ridiculous pint-size bed with you, no matter how much your grandfather might disapprove.’

Olivia laughed. ‘Gramps won’t know,’ she teased back. ‘He’s confined to bed at the moment with his bad leg.’

‘Confined to bed. Now that sounds like a very, very good idea,’ Caspar began and then stopped.

Olivia saw the look he was giving her and shook her head lightly. ‘It’s Dad,’ she told him simply. ‘There’s been a … a problem. It’s … it’s all sorted out now but …’

She knew it was up to her whether or not she chose to tell him. If she did and he didn’t approve of the way they had dealt with the problem, then there was a risk that it would lead to a renewed alienation between them, and if she didn’t … Well, that wasn’t the kind of relationship she wanted with her man, she acknowledged, a relationship where things had to be kept hidden, secret, because they couldn’t trust one another’s reactions.

She took a deep breath and hoped for the best. ‘Dad stole some money from a client. Luckily Aunt Ruth was able to come up with a scheme whereby it could be paid back without Uncle Jon having to report it. I suspect Uncle Jon still thinks that he should have reported it, even though it would not have been Dad who would have carried the brunt of any penalties the Law Society might have chosen to impose, but Uncle Jon. Aunt Ruth was very insistent.’

Quickly she told him the whole sorry tale and then stood back searching his face for some indication of his reaction. When she could find none, her stomach muscles started to tighten in knots of tension.

Caspar looked at her.

‘So Aunt Ruth was ruthless, was she?’ he quipped at last. ‘And quite rightly so. What your father did was wrong but Ruth is on the mark when she says that all of you would have been affected if his theft had become public.’

‘It still doesn’t seem fair that Dad should get away with … with what he did,’ Olivia confessed seconds later as she leaned her head in grateful love against Caspar’s shoulder. ‘Just as he’s always got away with things….’

‘Perhaps not, but justice, as they say, is blind and sometimes the innocent can be hurt along with the guilty. Oh, by the way,’ he added as he turned her gently towards the stairs. ‘I almost forgot. I’ve checked with the university in Manchester and there’s a lectureship coming up that I can apply for if I wish. It would mean one or both of us commuting, I suppose, but …’

Olivia stared at him. ‘You mean you’ve actually … you’re really prepared … You’d really come back here to live and work?’ Her voice broke.