Penny Jordan Tribute Collection

To her relief Xavier got into the front of the car, but she was still acutely conscious of him as Ali drove them towards the racecourse. Unlike Xavier, Khalid favoured a strong modern male cologne, but she could still smell beneath it the scent of Xavier’s skin, and deep down inside her a part of her cried out in anguished pain and longing, aching despairingly for him.

‘Poor Ella, you must be so nervous.’ Tanya tried to comfort her, sensing her distress, but to Mariella’s relief not realising the real cause of it. ‘You’ve hardly eaten a thing since you arrived, and you look so pale.’

‘Tanya is right—you do look pale,’ Xavier told Mariella grimly several minutes later when they had reached their destination and he had opened the car door for her, leaving her with no alternative but to get out. His hand was beneath her elbow, preventing her from moving away from him. Instinctively Mariella knew that he had been waiting for the opportunity to vent the anger he obviously felt towards her against her. She had seen it in his eyes every time he looked at her, felt it in the tension that crackled between them. ‘What’s wrong, Mariella? If it isn’t food you want, then perhaps it’s another appetite you want to have satisfied. Is that it? Are you hungry for sex?’ he demanded harshly.

‘No,’ Mariella denied immediately, trying again to pull away from him. He was making sure that no one else could hear what he was saying to her, she recognised, and making sure too that she could not get away from him.

Had he deliberately waited until now? Chosen this particular time to launch his attack on her, when he knew she couldn’t escape from him?

‘No?’ he taunted her. ‘Then why are you trembling so much? Why do you look so hungrily at me when you think I am not aware of you doing so?’

‘I am not… I do not,’ Mariella replied. She could feel her face starting to burn and her heart beginning to pound.

‘You’re lying,’ Xavier told her softly. ‘And don’t deny it. Unless you want to provoke me into proving to you that you are! Is that what you want, Mariella?’

‘Stop it! Stop doing this to me,’ Mariella demanded. She could hear her own voice shaking with emotion and was helplessly aware that it wouldn’t be long before her body betrayed her by following suit.

‘I spoke to your agent today. She told me that she was sure you’d be thrilled to learn that I want to commission you for a very special project. She certainly was especially when I told her how much I was prepared to pay to secure your exclusive… services.’

Mariella reeled from the shock of his taunting comment.

‘Xavier, please,’ she begged him fatally, her eyes widening as she saw the look of triumph leaping to life in his eyes.

‘Please?’ he repeated silkily.

‘Xavier, Mariella, come on…’ Tanya urged them.

‘We’re coming. I was just discussing a certain plan with Mariella,’ Xavier said smoothly as he guided Mariella toward the throng of people making for the entrance to the suite.

‘Well, sister-in-law, I think we can safely say that your frieze is an outstanding success,’ Khalid commented, grinning at Mariella. ‘Everyone is talking about it and it is very, very impressive!’

Mariella tried to respond enthusiastically, but she felt achingly tired from answering all the questions she had received about the frieze, and, besides, her whole nervous system was still on red alert just in case Xavier should suddenly reappear and continue his cynical verbal torment.

‘Khalid and I are going to get something to eat, in a few minutes,’ Tanya told her. ‘Do you want to come with us?’

Nauseously Mariella shook her head. The last thing she wanted was food. She had been feeling sick all day and her stomach heaved at the very thought.

‘Here comes the prince,’ Tanya whispered as the royal party appeared.

‘Mariella. My congratulations. Everyone is most impressed!’

As she acknowledged his praise Mariella suddenly realised that Xavier was with him. Her feeling of sickness increased, but grimly she refused to submit to it.

‘Xavier has just been telling me that he has commissioned you to make a visual record of the everyday life of his people,’ the prince was continuing. ‘A truly excellent idea!’ Smiling at her, he started to move on.

So that was what Xavier had meant! Already dropping her head in deference to the prince, Mariella suddenly raised it, intending to glare at Xavier, but instead she was overcome by a dizzying surge of weakness.

‘Ella, what is it? What’s wrong?’ Tanya demanded anxiously. ‘You look as though you’re going to faint! Feeling sick… looking like you’re going to faint—anyone would think you’re pregnant!’ Tanya laughed.

As her sister turned away Mariella realised that Xavier was looking straight at her, and she knew immediately from his expression that he had heard Tanya’s teasing comment and that somehow he had guessed the truth!

The urge to turn and run was so strong that she suspected if the gallery had not been so crowded she would have done so. But once again Xavier seemed to be able to read her mind because suddenly he was standing beside her.

‘Your sister isn’t well,’ she heard him telling Tanya curtly. ‘I’m taking her back to the villa.’

‘No,’ Mariella protested, but it was too late. Khalid was urging Tanya to go with him to get something to eat, and Xavier was already propelling her towards the exit.

It was impossible for either of them to say anything in the car with Ali driving. ‘This way,’ Xavier told Mariella grimly once they were back at the villa, stopping her from seeking the sanctuary of her own room as his hand on the small of her back ushered her towards his own suite of rooms.

‘You can’t do this!’ Mariella said shakily. ‘I’m a single woman, remember, and—’

‘A single woman who is carrying my child!’ Xavier stopped her savagely as he opened the suite door and almost pushed her inside.

Mariella could feel herself starting to tremble. She didn’t have the strength for this kind of fight. Not now and probably not ever!

‘Xavier, I’m tired. It’s been a long day.’

‘Why the hell didn’t you say something? Or were you hoping that by not eating and by exhausting yourself you could provoke a natural end to it?’ he accused, ignoring her plea.

‘No,’ Mariella denied immediately, horrified. ‘No! How dare you say that? I would never…’ Tears filled her eyes. ‘I wanted this baby,’ she told him passionately. ‘I…’

Abruptly she stopped, her expression betraying her as she saw the way he was looking at her.

‘Would you mind repeating that?’ he demanded with dangerous softness.

Nervously Mariella licked her lips.

‘Repeat what?’ she asked him.

‘Don’t play games with me Mariella,’ he warned her. ‘You know perfectly well what I mean. You just said “I wanted this baby”… “wanted,” rather than “want,” which means… which means that it wasn’t just sex you wanted from me, as you claimed, was it?

‘What? Nothing to say?’ he challenged her bitingly. ‘Not even an “it was an accident”?’

Mariella bit down hard on her lower lip.

She wasn’t going to demean herself by lying to him!

‘You don’t have to worry,’ she tried to defend herself, her voice wobbling. ‘I won’t ever make any kind of claims on you, Xavier. I intend to take full responsibility for… for everything. I want to take full responsibility,’ she stressed fiercely. ‘There’s no way I intend to let my baby suffer as I did through having a father who…’

‘Your baby?’ Xavier stopped her harshly. ‘Your baby, Mariella, is my child! My child!’

‘No!’ Mariella denied immediately. ‘This baby has nothing whatsoever to do with you, Xavier. He or she will be completely mine!’

‘Nothing to do with me! I don’t believe I’m hearing this,’ Xavier breathed savagely. ‘This baby… my baby has everything to do with me, Mariella. After all, without me he or she just could not exist! I’ll make arrangements for us to be married as quickly and as quietly as possible, and then—’

‘Married! No!’ Mariella refused vehemently, her panic showing in her expression as she confronted him. ‘I’m not going to get married, Xavier. Not ever. When my mother married my father, she believed that he loved her, that she could trust him, rely on him… but she couldn’t. He left her… He left us both because he didn’t want me.’

All the emotions she had been bottling up inside her whooshed out in a despairing stream of agonised denial, even whilst somewhere deep down inside her most guarded private self there was a deep burning pain at the thought of just how very, very much she wanted Xavier’s total commitment for her baby and for herself. His total commitment and his enduring love! The pain of her own self-knowledge was virtually unbearable. She ached for him to simply take her in his arms and hold her safe, to keep her safe for ever, and yet at the same time her own self-conditioning was urging her to deny and deride those feelings to protect herself.