What She Saw

The wake the next night was surprisingly crowded. Or maybe not, Haley thought as she stood to one side and watched a swirl of local people she knew and truckers she recognized. All spoke in the subdued voices that seemed to go with the solemn situation. Her mother’s viewing had been less crowded.

People she had known at least by sight for most of her life. People who hadn’t forgotten her mother or her through all those terrible years of illness, even though the two of them had gradually withdrawn from most social contact.

Good people.

This was different, though, with those truckers coming and going in a fairly steady stream. She hadn’t realized that they formed such strong bonds just from being on the road. But they were all drivers who’d been coming through Hasty’s truck stop for a long time. Maybe they felt a link with this little town.

She was surprised, though, by how elaborate the funeral was. Her mother’s had been much less so, simply because after her illness there were few resources left. She would have thought Ray’s family would find it even harder. That looked like an awfully expensive casket, for one thing. And there was a ton of flowers. Plus, having a two-night viewing cost more. She’d had to shave it for her mother, having a relatively short wake right before the funeral.

“Hey,” said a familiar voice, and she turned to see one of her high school friends, a girl named Debbie. “Sad about Ray, huh?”

“Very. I have to admit I hadn’t seen him but once since high school, though.”

“I had.” Debbie shrugged. “He asked me out a few times in the last month.”

“Oh, Debbie, you must be devastated!” Haley at once reached for her hand.

Debbie shook her head. “Not really. I didn’t take him up on it. It was just kind of sad, though, because it sounded like things were really turning around for him. And for his family.”

“Trucking’s a good job.”

Debbie shook her head, and her dark mane of hair swirled a bit. “No, it wasn’t that. Apparently he was coming into some money from somewhere. I thought he was giving me a snow job so I’d go out with him. The Listons have never had two dimes.”

“I know.”

“So I didn’t believe him. I figured he was trying to make himself sound important, you know?”

“I know.”

“But maybe he wasn’t lying.” Debbie sighed. “I mean, look at this wake. You can’t do this when you’re broke. So maybe he got that money he was talking about.”

“I hope so.”

“Me, too.” Debbie’s smile was rather sad. “Well, I paid my respects, so I’ve got to get going. You need to poke your head up more often, Haley. It’s been too long.”

A couple more of her girlfriends stopped to chat with her, too, and a couple of guys who’d once wanted to date her but were now happily married to others of her friends.

Life seemed to have moved on during her mother’s illness and left her a little behind. But that was okay. She was going to catch up. She was already catching up by going to school, setting her sights on her LPN and then her RN. After that, she’d have time to catch up in any other way she wanted.

When things quieted a bit, she made her way over to offer her condolences to Mr. and Mrs. Liston. She didn’t know them well. Just as she hadn’t known Ray well. It occurred to her for the first time that the Listons might have kept to themselves simply because they were so poor. Look at the way Ray had been treated and ignored in school. Maybe the same had happened to his parents. Maybe they’d never quite fit in larger social circles around here. The thought saddened her.

She avoided looking into the open casket as she approached Ray’s parents. They appeared pinched and exhausted, almost worn to the bone by life. Dressed in their Sunday finest, which still looked outdated and threadbare, they seemed overwhelmed by the number of people who had showed up.

Haley offered her hand to Mrs. Liston. “I’m so sorry about Ray. He came into the truck stop that night, just before…well, I was glad to see he had such a good job.”

Mrs. Liston nodded. Mr. Liston, however, said, “He was a good boy, no matter what anyone thought.”

“He was,” Haley agreed. He’d never caused any trouble in school, and whatever scrape he’d gotten into right after graduation, she’d never learned the details.

“The cops don’t think he was good,” Mr. Liston said. “You saw him right before?”

Haley hesitated, wondering what he was seeking. “Yes, I did.”

“They kept asking did he do drugs. My boy didn’t do no drugs. Not ever.”

“I believe you,” Haley said quickly, although she had no way to know anything about what Ray might have done. “He seemed just fine right before his accident.”

“You tell them cops that?”

“I did,” she assured him. “I promise. He was just fine.”

That seemed to ease Mr. Liston’s mind a bit. She gave Mrs. Liston a brief hug then moved away, determined to get out of here.

Enough, she thought, her eyes starting to prickle unwontedly. The smell of flowers, the peculiar odor of this funeral home, was starting to get to her. The last time…no, she didn’t want to think about the last time, when she’d been the one standing there in Mrs. Liston’s place, accepting condolences from kind people, few of whom would ever understand, not really, how much her mother’s death hurt, or what a relief it was after all that suffering.

Of course, she heard all the platitudes, and they were all true, but none of them could possibly ease the pain and confusion. Not one.

She had become motherless at twenty-three, after a descent into hell that had lasted more than five years. Inside she’d felt hollowed out, except for the grief. No platitude for that.

She was almost at the door when she heard her name. “Haley.”

She froze a moment, then turned reluctantly. Buck Devlin stood there, clad in a tan work shirt and jeans. He’d have looked out of place among all the locals dressed in their Sunday best if it hadn’t been for the few remaining truckers.

“Buck,” she said cautiously.

“I wanted to apologize. Can you give me a minute? Just a minute out front. Plenty of people, so you don’t have to be scared.”

He looked earnest enough, but that wasn’t what grabbed her. Scared? She didn’t like that. Maybe she had felt a momentary fear the night before, but she wasn’t feeling it now. She wasn’t a naturally scared sort of person, and it irritated her that he might think she was.

“Sure. Just a few minutes, though.”

Outside, they stepped off the sidewalk a few paces so they wouldn’t block the people who were coming and going. Dusk was just settling over the world.

She just looked at him, waiting, reluctant to give him an inch.

“I’m sorry I made you uneasy,” he said. “So maybe I should explain a few things.”

“That might help.”

“For starters, I’m not exactly on vacation.”

She folded her arms tightly beneath her breasts, her guard slamming into place. “So you’re a liar?”

“No.” He sighed and ran his fingers through his dark hair, cut high and tight, almost military style. “I’m on vacation in one sense. Legitimately. That’s how my company has me listed right now.”

“So what’s the not exactly part?”

“My company also asked me to look into what happened to Ray and what might have been going on in your parking lot that night. We’re having problems with shipments.”