The Panjandrum Picture Book

AN ELEGY ON THE GLORY OF HER SEX

MRS. MARY BLAIZE BY

DR. OLIVER GOLDSMITH

Good people all, with one accord,
Lament for Madam Blaize,
Who never wanted a good word —

From those

who spoke her praise.

The needy seldom pass'd her door,
And always found her kind;
She freely lent to all the poor —

Who left

a pledge behind.

She strove the neighbourhood to please
With manners wondrous winning;

And never follow'd wicked ways —

Unless when she was sinning.

At church, in silks and satins new,
With hoop of monstrous size,
She never slumber'd in her pew —

But when she shut her eyes.

Her love was sought, I do aver,
By twenty beaux and more;
The King himself has follow'd her —

When she has walk'd before.

But now, her wealth and finery fled,
Her hangers-on cut short-all:
The Doctors found, when she was dead,
Her last disorder mortal.

Let us lament, in sorrow sore,
For Kent Street well may say,
That had she lived a twelvemonth more, —
She had not died to-day.

THE GREAT PANJANDRUM HIMSELF

So she went into the garden to cut a cabbage-leaf
to make

an apple-pie;

and at the same time a great she-bear, coming
down the street, pops its head into the shop.

What! no soap?

So he died,

and she very imprudently married the Barber:

and there were present

the Picninnies, and the Joblillies,

and the Garyulies,
and the great Panjandrum himself, with
the little round button at top;

and they all fell to playing the game of
catch-as-catch-can,

till the gunpowder ran out at the heels
of their boots.